FUCKING SHIT IT'S HOT IN MY OFFICE!

- Monday, Bloody Monday: I come in to work today, AC is broken and, for some reason, all my emails in my work-related Outlook Express are gone. That’s hundreds of emails that I pretty much NEED... it's fucking insanely hot in here. Fuck.

- Random Crap: Random crap about Random Rap.

- Real World: I missed the Real World premier on Tuesday night, but caught the re-run on Sunday. Peep Byron Crawford’s Real World redux if you missed it. While you’re there, peep his Cassidy review. Shit’s funny.

- Album Covers Appropriated for Ad Purposes: Presumably inspired by the Nike ad that bites this Minor Threat cover, David put me onto this tom foolery. People who get all up in arms about this type of corporate appropriation seem to me be a bit off-base. My basic thoughts about this type of shit are as follows:

As "sad" and "disgusting" as this is (which it certainly is to some degree), I think it's more productive to realize that it's symptomatic of how the culture industry appropriates, co-opts, and markets, all for the sole purpose of accruing capital. Of course, that don't make it "right" (nor does it necessarily make it "wrong"), but it is a reality.

It's just symptomatic of something much larger at play: the logic of marketing and late capitalism.

It's pretty much why I think "Roger and Me" is a stupid movie (though totally entertaining). Michael Moore is making these corporate big wigs out to be the enemy, as if the problem(s) with capitalism is(are) that a couple bad apple CEOs are just mean and heartless bad guys or something. Uh, no, dude. This is the logic of capitalism. This is how the world works. Cheaper labor equals more profit. So, if you can go to Mexico to get cheaper labor, holler. Morality doesn't come into play here. Capitalism is by its very nature amoral.

In other words, don't hate the player (Nike), hate the game (good ol' capitalism).

Some dude got all up in arms when I posted these thoughts on a messageboard and tried to call me out for encouraging “complacency” with my argument. His words are italicized, mine aren’t:

How is it "productive" to a) simply accept an existing reality, and b) render it neither "right" nor "wrong"? The idea of productivity is that something is actually produced. All I see produced in your model is complacency.

Who the heck is talking about “accepting an existing reality” and being “complacent”? What I’m calling for is simply a more accurate realization of the forces that drive our world. If anything, the “Fuck Nike for this!” shit is more complacent then what I’m calling for because it allows for a totally inaccurate scape-goating—as if Nike and a few other companies are the only ones that are “inauthentically appropriating subcultures” for capital, and that if they were just a little bit more socially-conscious or respectful or something, then it’d all be hunky-dory. Heck no! This shit happens all the fucking time—it’s what the fuck marketing is based on. All I’m talking about here is understanding that it’s not about over-simplilfying and scape-goating companies like Nike and Scion for some sort of “inauthentic appropriation” for the sole purpose of making money. If we want our actions to have any lasting impact on the world, we need to understand that this is the system that we live in and the system drives the logic. Of course people make up a system which makes up people which makes up the system on and on and on forever, but to individualize the “problem” like this is, to me, what I find to be “wholly unproductive.”

Saying there is “something much larger at play: the logic of marketing and late capitalism” is like saying that there is "something larger at play" when killers kill people. Sure, ok, whatever, there probably is something larger at play- cultural devaluation of human life, broken homes, the logic of late capitalism- but none of this means we can't or shouldn't judge and hold individual or collective actors responsible for their actions.

Who is saying you “shouldn’t or can’t hold individual or collective actors responsible for their actions”? Certainly not me. All I’m trying to shed some light on is that this type of marketing is not a unique phenomenon and is just plain ol’ “marketing.” Now, suddenly people care because an album they like is being de-valued by Nike or something and I’m just trying to say “Woah, hold your horses. This shit happens literally ALL THE FUCKING TIME” and it’s way too easy to just sit back and say “Dude, fuck Nike for pimping Dischord like that!”

To say “don't hate the player (Nike), hate the game (good ol' capitalism)” is nonsense. The players are what make a game. If you hate the game, don't play. If you do play, expect to be hated.

Pray tell, how can one “not play” this game? There is no space outside of capitalism. You can move to a commune and never buy anything again or something like that, but that’s not exactly affecting much is it?

I’m not calling for any sort of complacency. I just think some of the folks commenting here aren’t being realistic about how these things work, and I find it much more important to understand that there is a systematic logic present here. Nike ads like this aren’t an anomaly.

I’m not claiming to have any real answers here on how to “buck the system,” and the only reason I posted this lil’ exchange is not to illustrate that I won an argument or anything. But I do find that a lot of people respond adversely to my line of thinking that isn’t afraid to suggest that individual actions probably aren’t going to be enough to really “buck the system.” Surely, people are the ones that make-up the system, but any “solution” is going to be an extremely complicated one because we are all necessarily complicit in the system at all times. As far as I’m concerned, there truly is no space “outside” of capitalism and thus, any “solution,” that is based on finding a space “outside” is not a solution at all.

-e

Celebrity Sightings

- Too Lazy To Post Anything But This: Some “Celebrity Sightings” stories from the Soulstrut messageboard:

- So I'm hitting on this absolutely beautiful woman the other day at work, but she is apparently waiting on some dude. She has a British accent so I ask her if it's the dude with the Beatles looking haircut that she is waiting for. She giggles all cute and says, "yes." The dude turns and looks at me because he kind of overheard part of the conversation, so I smirk and explain to him that I guessed by her British accent that she was waiting for him cause of his whole recreated Beatles look. Dude looks at me like I just slapped him in the face and he walks away. She is all like, "Bye!!!!" all cute and waving to me and shit while she catches up to his cry baby ass. My boy turns to me and says, "Do you know who that is? That's Liam Gallagher from Oasis. That's like a huge insult to him!"

- On a plane from LAX to JFK last spring I sat in front of Ted Danson. He kept kicking the back of my seat like a little kid. I got him in the end, though, as I unintentionally (I swear!) elbowed him in the rear as I pulled my bag down from the overhead bin after landing.

- i farted in front of Jackie Chan while we were both lining up at the airport. My stomach was about to explode, I had to let it out...it stank like hell too. didn't realise that it was him till i turned around after I farted. oops.

-e

You didn't do the knowledge that the god was manifestin'...

- Out in the Streets, They Call it MURDEEER!: Crossfaded Thursdays at Filo’s is popping off again tonight. Come through! Bo and I are gonna be killing it on the wheels as usual in the beautiful, air-conditioned bar at 408 South 2nd Street. Shit is just off South Street so go cop a Steak wit’ at Jim’s and roll through with your steak-breath and holler at yer peoples. Hip-hop, r&b, reggae, and classic shit all night long. Beautiful people and a good time guaranteed. Kitchen is open ‘til 1 too if the cheesesteak idea ain’t doin’ it for ya. Peace to my NYC extended fam caps and jones for the flier hook-up.

- Bunny Suicides: Bunnies have a hard life. Awesome.

- Things to do in Berlin when you’re hungry: “The press release informs us that 22 blind or partially-sighted people work in the Unsicht-Bar, and this is the most successful initiative that has been set up in recent decades to employ blind and partially-sighted people in Berlin. Furthermore, sightless and sighted people in the Unsicht-Bar change the roles they are used to playing in everyday life.” Fucking awesome.

- Flag Burning: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know burning the flag is a pretty unoriginal form of protest, and you and me and everyone with a fucking brain knows that to ban flag burning is unconstitutional and is a serious slap-in-the-face to free speech. Everyone knows this right? Everyone... well, except 65 Senators. At least the Right is no longer hiding their secret desire to turn America into a fascist state!

- Talky Records: Fucking awesome post about “Essential Talking LPs” by Bambouche from the Vanguard Squad. Highlights include breakdowns on records called: “Suicide Prevention,” and “Ain’t No Ambulances for Nigguhs tonight.”

- Young Caps’s Research Thesis: Shit is hot. Read it and weep.

-e

I leaned back like I'm rich...

- Authors’ Mugs: My internet girlfriend Trigger hit me off with this shit. Shit is hot. Mildly related question: Is “pretentious” the most over-used adjective in the world? The most over-used noun-that-is-basically-an-adjective is “hipster,” right? Discuss.

- Robots on the Moon: Japanese people are on some next shit… again.

- Race, Reality, and Hip-Hop: O-dub’s got a cute little piece about Race and hip-hop. We can talk about some of this stuff all day, every day… so, um, let’s do it. In semi-related news, I was skimming through Michael Eric Dyson’s book about why Bill Cosby is a freaking idiot (which should’ve been the title) at Border’s yesterday, and Dyson is killing the Jello man. Peep this for a basic breakdown of Cosby’s counterproductive idiocy.

- Catchdubs is HYPE: I know Mr. Barat is hype for this shit and if you like shoes as much as that corny-ass smut I dated a few months ago, then this shit is for you. In the mean time, read this Scoop Jackson piece about shoes and go vote for your favorite jawns.

- Thoughts on the NBA’s new Age Limit: In a recent messageboard discussion, I responded to this:

“Not sure if this was touched upon but the real reason why the NBA wants the age limit is to protect the GMs and executives who are choosing these players.....nothing better for a GM than being able to see a player an extra year or two on the court before he is eligible for the draft....thereby lowering the risk of the GMs on picking a dud”

…with this:


I find this reasoning so hilarious. It's like these GMs can't fucking help themselves and absolutely HAVE to draft based on potential... which is absolutely not the case. The only people forcing these GMs to fucking draft these high-schoolers is, well, nobody. The high-school draft picks almost never arrive to a lot of fanfare, and they almost never pan-out-- at least not for several years. And, yet and still, we have to protect these GMs from their own dumb asses? Fucking ridiculous. Fuck them.

Honestly, the age limit is on some "sanctity of the game" bullshit. It may or may not be racially motivated to some degree, but I think it's an attempt to make the league more marketable to white folks. I feel like there's a lot of backlash against these young, athletic mugs who "lack fundamentals" and are just "athletic" "ballers." The "lack fundamentals" shit is kinda true to an extent, but it's also kinda bullshit. I mean, a lot of these players don't necessarily "lack fundamentals" so much as they do excel in other ways...and let's be honest here, you can only really say they "lack fundamentals" if the "fundamentals" are still "fundamental"... which they simply aren't. That's just a long-winded way of saying that the game has changed and you don't effing need the same set of "fundamentals" to be successful in the league that people like Larry Brown think you need. Shit, look at Amare Stoudemire. Sure, inevitably they lost to the Spurs, but he fucking DOMINATED the "Big Fundamental" in that series.

I mostly feel like the age limit is just an attempt to slow down the changes the NBA is inevitably going through as the league becomes more based on absolutely inhuman athletic ability and prowess. 20 years from now, there's gonna be a heck of a lot more players like Magic Johnson and Amare Stoudemire and Kevin Garnett, and for some reason, that scares the NBA-- which is odd because you know damn well that David Stern wanted a Suns/Miami final, yet, he's still gonna do dumb shit like instill an age-limit as an attempt to promote the style of play that nobody likes to watch but everyone claims to like to watch.

It's the ambivalence of the white sports fan: in reality they want to watch the tremendous athletes but love to bitch about how the game has been watered down by these same athletes that don't “respect the game” or "play the right way." I hope every motherfucker that ever said that dumb shit is glued to the TV set watching this finals.

Now, as for the Finals? They’ve been surprisingly almost-good. Sort’ve. Unfortunately, besides Bob Horry, there haven’t been any super-human feats of athletic glory a la Allen Iverson in Game 1 against the Lakers a few years ago, countless Jordan play-off games, and Magic’s rookie year game 6 where he threw up something like 40, 15, and 7 to win the ‘chip (out of position, playing Center, I might add). These Finals were 4 blow-outs, then a close game that was saved by the heroics of one weird-ass dude named Big Shot Bob Horry, and then a boring-ass close game where Duncan choked and good ol’ fashion defense and execution won. Sure, that’s all well and good, and at least the game was close and thus--by its very nature of being close--interesting. But where’s the super-humanity? This is the fucking NBA, for God’s sake. Make me say “UHNNNN!” I’m sorta half-disappointed that Bethlehem Shoals over at Free Darko is sorta half-abandoning his “this finals sucks” crusade by saying something sorta half-good about the Pistons. But, I can sort’ve feel his pleasantly-surprised tone, because, well, I expected these Finals to suck more than they do. But, they still kinda suck, don’t they? I totally agree with this point, however:

“At what point do we start criticizing Duncan, if not for choking at key points in this series then at least for not asserting his presence (himself?) more? I know that's not the kind of player or person he is, but the greatest power forward ever (no sarcasm there) should be putting his unmistakable stamp on each and every game.”

-e

Hmph

- Is this fake?: Funny, but sounds kinda fake. Still made me laugh.

- 4 Deep: I don’t always love the shit that noz posts but holy shit this 4 Deep shit is so fucking dope, dudes. Go download it now and pretend you listen to all that old Houston shit that everyone will pretend to have been up on forever once that Slim Thug album drops.

- Videos: I just jacked sampled all this shit from that music video reviews blog Purpology (which is pretty cool, btw), but peep these videos: Missy Elliot “Lose Control/On and On” and especially Kanye’s “Diamonds From Sierra Leone.” Honestly, I wasn’t really really feeling this “Diamonds” shit until I heard the remix with Hov… and then saw this video. Really, this video makes this song a million times better and adds some much-needed social commentary that the lyrics itself are lacking. But, the dialectic of the political nature of the video with the pretty apolitical nature of the audio is exactly what I love about Kanye: that complicated sense of contradiction that Kanye is hyper-aware of in his music. It’s a fucking beautiful thing… and is probably as close to “keepin’ it real” that a rapper can get. I’m not gonna pretend hip-hop needed a savior or anything, but Kanye is truly a blessing to today’s hip-hop environment. Dude is just balls-out. In other news, scroll down on that purpology page to see that David stole my “Juelz wears his bandana like a crown” observation in the “Mic Check” video… he should give me credit for that because it’s really the only worthwhile thing I’ve said in weeks. I love you, David, but not as much as I love Juelz (maybe homo… I’m not really sure).

- I fucking despise hip-hop: People who know nothing about hip-hop are always saying dumb shit about it. Don’t look back in anger, Noel!

- Underground Rail Road: Massive amounts of music for you to listen to at work courtesy of Jay Smooth and his now-archived radioshow.

-e

Go away.

- My dude: My dude Noixe has got a blog and, not surprisingly, it’s way better than mine.

- Insertioin: Here’s a good question: “What can you say about a science fiction novel that begins with a first-person account of a 16-year-old girl masturbating with her gun?” Sounds like a good book. Makes me want to read some Sci-Fi. What’s up with your boy Nick Hornsby being a jack-ass in the issue of the Believer that comes with that covers CD (which is fucking banging by the way)? Nick Hornsby is easy to dislike… except for “High Fidelty” which I probably wouldn’t like so much if I wasn’t such a record dork.

- That Gangsta Shit: I jacked sampled all of this from Dr. Robert’s wonderful page, but fuck it. The recontextualization is important. (psh!). Anyway: Like WOAH! Game over! Frankly, there’s two schools of thought regarding Big Shot Bob: (1) How can you possibly think Robert Horry deserves to be in the Hall of Fame, and (2) How can you possibly think that Robery Horry doesn’t deserve to be in the Hall. I’m of the latter. Dude is really the ultimate role-player par excellance. That’s GOT to count for something (i.e. A LOT). Bob Horry is the dude.

- Dyip-suut!: Speaking of Dr. Robert, peep Mr. Babylon’s favorite student Pedro’s dipset devotion that rivals even mine. Writing shout-outs on pencils is on that retro-next level shit.

- The New Girl I’m Seeing?: She makes me smile. Hopefully she’ll read that and smile. She can cook like a muhfucca, too!

- Dave and Neal: Dave Eggers on Neal Pollack’s piece in the Times (which I haven’t read). Funny.

- Sip, Sip, Sip: Sippin’ some sizzurp. Thanks Turntablelab.

- No thanks, Turntablelab: Speaking of TTL, fuck them. Peep what happened to me recently. Kobe Bryant has infiltrated my record collection. Tramautic.

- Ouch: I think I just got hot sauce in my eye. Ouch.

My blog sucks, these days.

-e

What if the cup only half is in an empty world....

- Busy, busy, busy: I’ve been surprisingly busy at work lately… which is good. The day goes by a lot quicker. But, that means a whole lot less time for Emil to blog. That’s actually not entirely accurate. I could still probably find the time to blog, but now my lil’ break time at work is spent just reading random shit online and not really bothering to write shit. Writing shit takes way more effort. Especially if I want to keep this blog up to its high-standards of brilliance and hilarity. Anyway, I’d like to thank you all for being patient with me. (It makes me really uncomfortable to address an anonymous, “you” audience in this blog. I feel kinda conceited thinking there’s actually people reading this thing… like I’m insulting your intelligence by assuming that you’re here… which is really paradoxical, because you wouldn’t even know I was assuming that you were here if you weren’t here in the first place to witness my assumption… and thus, no harm is done in me assuming that you’re here because if you weren’t, you wouldn’t be, and if you are here, well, you’re here… so, yeah, no harm done… well, except for tricking myself into believing people actually read this shit… *sigh*). Anyway!

- Serg’s Chain Mail BS: I like proving to Serg that his assessment of me as truly “softhands” is accurate. So, I’m going to b e a nice guy and respond to his stupid chainletter thing. Let me just say this though: Serg’s blog has fallen off so much that he’s had to resort to replying to stupid chain letter bullshit. Get your game tight, Serg. Maybe it’s time for some guest bloggery on your blog to get shit rollin’ again. You suck. Anyway, here we go:

Total volume of music files on my (work) computer: Only about 2 gigs
Total volume music files on my (home) computer: I think around 4 gigs. Most of it is garbage that I’ve listened to once, decided sucked, and simply haven’t gotten around to deleting yet. So, worthwhile shit that I listen to? At most, less than a gig.
Last CD I bought was: This is actually a really tough question since I buy mostly vinyl. I think the last CD I actually paid for was the Caps and Jones Moving In Stereo mixtape… which was well worth the $6 I spent on it.
Song Playing Right Now: Judy and Holofernes “Throw Your Skinny Body Down” courtesy of Bambouche from the Vanguard Squad.
5 Songs I listen to A Lot These Days: In no particular order: Lil’ Wayne “I Miss My Homies,” Faith Evans “Again,” Kelis “Trick Me,” Beanie Sigel “Look at Me Now,” Ghostface Killa “Wildflower.”

- Berube back again: I realize the Berube posts I link are usually pretty niche-market, high-brow, academic BS that only a few people care about, but I still find his shit to be unusually exciting. So, with that disclaimer out of the way, Berube blogs here about Terry Teachout’s piece about Blogging that laments the loss of some shared “common culture” in today’s blogosphere. If you find this paragraph interesting, go read the whole piece:

In other words: common social spaces, and shared norms of citizenship, do not require a common “culture.” Quite the contrary: too much common culture can actually be corrosive of common social spaces. So, then, may the blogosphere evolve into a common social form, and may a thousand uncommon cultures bloom in it, writing about last night and about the Beatles and about all manner of cultural phenomena.

- Ready To Die: This making of “Ready To Die” is fucking hot. Only the first half, but it’s good enough.

- The Metro Sucks: I know this isn’t a revelation to anyone, but “The Metro” newspaper fucking sucks. It’s totally uninteresting and the writers suck and the stories that receive headlines are usually absolutely redonkulous and totally undeserving. Granted, it’s not as fantastical, yellow-journalistic as “The Post,” but this fucking paper sucks and I totally wouldn’t bother with it if it weren’t for: (a) the adorable woman outside of MSG that hands me my free copy every morning who is just so damn sweet and sincere when she asks me how I’m doing, smiling all big, wishing me a nice day; (b) it’s free; (c) it looks cool sticking out of the back pocket of my jeans; and (d) I do the crossword puzzle on the way home from work. Now I’m not using the following as an example of why “The Metro” sucks—it’s just related. In today’s NY “Metro,” in the “Today’s Debate” column, the paper asks 4 people “Were you surprised by the autopsy results for Terry Schaivo that said she had irreparable brain damage?” And three of the four cracked me the fuck up. Listen to these fucking idiotic response.

1. Erika Smith, 27, Artist, Brooklyn: “I’m not surprised because I had somebody in my family who has brain-damaged and she could mimic things.”

What a fucking idiot. So, all degrees of brain-damagery are the same right, and if you can’t “mimic,” then you ain’t shit right?

2. Julia Hecker, 27, Nurse, Manhattan: “No, I’d assumed that. I think the whole life support thing is a waste.”

Hold on. Did you hear what this Nurse just said? JESUS CHRIST! A FUCKING NURSE THINKS LIFE SUPPORT IS A WASTE! WHAT THE FUCK?!

3. Aaron Pursell, 23, Photographer and hairstylist, Manhattan: “No, it doesn’t surprise me.”

What in the fuck? What in the fuckity fuck? First of all, I wish you people could see this “hairstylist’s” hair in this picture. What a fucking dork. Second of all, did nobody respond to the question in a more interesting manner than this guy? This guy just said “No.” He answered it in that 5th grade way where you’re taught to answer questions in full sentences, but dude, how is this a useful response? “You surprised?” “No.” Great. Wonderful. Enlightening.

Now, I mean, most of us suspected that Miss Schaivo was a vegetable and all, so I’m being a bit harsh at calling these people idiots (especially since all the question asked was “are you surprised”), but what can I say? I just found these responses funny.

-e

Closest thing to my thing is my thing-thing.

I never realized how dope that Young Chris line above was until I typed it out. Anyway, sorry for the almost-week-long hiatus. Your boy has actually been busy at work(!). Hollertronix was crazy. Ballertronix was fun. My new jawn is a sweetheart. I’ve been making hot beats lately and I feel pretty damn healthy. Just need a new cellphone. On to the stuff:

- My Life, My Life, My Life… in the sunshiiiine: I DJed with Lowbudget and Dan the Swede last night at this Old City bar called “Posh” (but apparently it’s changing its name to “Wax” soon). Anyway, it was fun. People showed up and started dancing around midnight and was a fairly good time. Be sure to come next week and let’s get this shit populatin’! My man Bo and I are DJing our new weekly at Filo’s Restaurant and Lounge tomorrow night (CROSSFADED THURSDAYS! HOLLER!). Come through! Shit’s gonna be a nice way to escape the insane, sweltering heat. The bar is air-conditioned and I believe there’s at least one $2 beer special. Holleratcherpeoples. The real news, however, is that I’m effin’ dying right now. I only got like two hours of sleep and your boy is hurting. Ugh.

- Epic: An epic post over on houstonsoreal that includes an interview with Pimp C, an interview with Bun B, and pictures of Texas rappers playing basketball (Paul Wall, baby!) at the Rap-A-Lot versus Swishahouse basketball game in Houston. So hot. The “Rap-A-Lot 4 Life” banner is ridiculous.

- Keep It Real: Authenticity is a zero-sum game. Hip-hop has been inauthentic since its incipient moments. Train of thought continued here.

- White People in Hip-Hop: My boy Jesse Dangerously brilliantly said “We didn’t land on Planet Rock… Planet Rock landed on us.” The “we” and “us” he’s referring to is White folk. Fucking brilliant. Anyway, here’s an interesting lil’ article with Bakari Kitwana who just published ”Why White Kids Love Hip-Hop.

- Baltimore Club Music is Bob Dylan: Here’s an interesting article about the links between Bmore Club and Bob Dylan. I dunno if I necessarily agree with it, but it’s certainly interesting.

- You’se a ho: I know ebaumsworld is a bit on the played side, but there’s some funny ass shit up in that bya-bya. This video of Ken Jennings (i.e. Jesus) on Jeopardy is comedy. I wonder if Ken refers to his bitches as hos. One can only hope.

- I don’t even know what the fuck you just said, man: Human comedy in the flesh.

-e

Watch me, duke, watch me...

- BALLERTRONIX:

OK, so official plans are in full effect for the FIRST OFFICIAL

BALLERTRONIX!!
(the pre-Hollertronix Basketball 3-on-3 Tournament Thing)

When: 2 PM on Saturday, 6/11

Where: 10th and Bainbridge Courts.

Weather: As of right now, we're looking at a partly
cloudy Saturday, 86 degrees, 20% chance of precipitation (which,
coincidentally, hovers right around Bliz's fieldgoal percentage).

Who: So far, I think we got me, Bliz, BKellz, Dan
The Swede (aka Skutch), Diplo, and some dude named
KnucksWhileBucks. Who else is hollering? Women are allowed,
but they will experience feminism (i.e. we will block the shit
out of your shots and dunk on you as if you were a male).

Let's get this shit poppin'!

- Crossfaded Thursdays: Me and the dude, Bo Bliz, are starting our weekly “Crossfaded Thursdays” gig at Filo's Restaurant and Lounge tonight (408 South Second Street, just north of South Street). Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know it’s a whopping $5 to get in (which is definitely a bit steep for a weeknight gig), but it’ll be good and fun because Bo and I will murder dem with the hip-hop, r&b, dancehall, 80’s, and classics goodness. Seriously. Filo’s is a real dope spot--diverse crowd, fairly cheap drinks, air-conditioned, convenient location--and Bo and I are ready to kill it. It’ll be fun. If you don’t come this week, come next week or the week after. Seriously.

- I’m lazy. This guy isn’t: Ok, look. I’m a super lazy person. I really don’t do too much shit unless I absolutely HAVE to. The fact that this guy is out there doing this is fucking hilarious, dope, stupid, and depressing all at the same time. I can’t help but think that if this guy (and people like him) would put his/their energy into something more constructive (like saving the world), that this world would be a better place. But, like I said, I’m lazy, so it’s really not my responsibility to save the world. It’s this guy’s. Capitalism is not being overthrown because of people like this guy. Not because of me and my lazy ass...but because of people like this dude. This motherfucker needs to save the fucking world and, quite frankly, I’m pissed that he’s not doing it.

- Love Break Mix: My dude Cosmo Baker’s “Love Break” mix is fucking spectacular. I’m telling you. If you download one mix today, get this shit. You will not be fucking disappointed. Anyway, I know you want to hear the OG sample to that Cam and Kanye track. The Meters “Wichita Linemen” is fucking stupid hot, too. Cosmo dropped that shit at Fluid late-night steez back in the Real Speak days and I about shat myself. Shit is beautiful. Download Part 1 here and Part 2 here. Perfect music for work, or for fucking your girl… or for fucking your girl at work.

- Funny Rap Shit: Here’s some pretty funny rap related shit. The commentary on the album covers in the Run For Cover section is especially good.

-e

Blew off my burner kinda dusty...

- Texas Madness: Mattsoreal hit me with a Rapid Ric and Mr. Rogers mixtape that bangs. Go to the shrimp for the mp3-ery.

- Gif Madness: More hot animated gif-ery. Best Fresh Prince episode ever.

- Bomarr Madness: All-around good guy Bomarr from the Restiform Bodies has a blog and it’s got some cool mp3s (specifically this Will Oldham cover of R. Kelly’s “Ignition”).

- Cleaning Vinyl Madness: Here’s a photo essay on how to clean vinyl properly.

- Mrs. Robinson Madness: I didn’t know that in his 1967 review of “The Graduate” Roger Ebert called the soundtrack “instantly forgettable. That’s ridiculous—not so much because it’s good (which it is), but because they play “Scarborough Fair” and “The Sounds of Silence” like a million times in the movie. It’s fucking insane. Great movie, though (duh).

- Art Madness: There’s a Dalek exhibit at the 222 Gallery this Friday. Should be hot, crowded, and mildly overrated.

- Grade Madness: Apparently, Bush wasn’t the only idiot from Yale who got bad grades and was trying to be president. I don’t care how any of you people try to justify this shit on some “Oh grades don’t accurately represent someone’s intelligence” (which gets a resounding “DUH!” from me), but let me just say that if all us college grads need a motherfucking 3.0 GPA to get any ol’ motherfucking entry-level, career-type job, each and every candidate for the motherfucking president of the United States should have to do AT LEAST as well as the rest of motherfucking us. Fuckin’ shit this pisses me off.

- Bully Records Madness: Bully Records has some big things in store for the next few months. I’m sure some of the releases will bore the living shit out of me, but the Elektro 4 CD and the Controller 7 EP will probably be dope. He’s got some MP3 goodies posted o’er there, too.

- Stowaway Madness: Watch out for falling legs. Sad.

Heavy rain fucked my kicks up. Wasn't lookin, splashed in the puddle. Bitch laughin'. First thought was beat the bitch up...

- Google: Just try and act like you don’t Google your own name a couple times a month. We all do it.

- Depressing: I mean, I’m not really one to champion “authenticity” and I don’t really feel that there’s really a lot of space for authentic subversion in Late Capitalism, but this really really depresses me.

- Freeway: I thought this blog might be Freeway related. I was wrong.

- Where’s my Crackberry?!: Quicktime Movie of Saturday night’s madness with Spankrock and my homie Amanda. Roxy put on another dope-as-eff show and me and my peoples wiled out something serious. Your boy was BENT and PDA-ing like a mug with ol’ girl. There’s gonna be some funny pics of me sucking face popping up online sometime soon and I’m gonna be embarrassed, but eff it. Shit was fun.

- Mo’ Shaviro: Shaviro on scarcity and abundance. Killsville as always.

- Serg is Cosmopolitan: My boy has fallen off recently, but he seems to be back on track: "Seriously if need the government to step in because you're too much of a fucking bitch to walk over to your neighbor's house and tell them to turn their goddamn stereo off then your country fucking sucks." Amen!

- Hot shit: I still need to read his book (even though I’m pretty sure I’m going to be put off by its Modernist focus), but Joe Schloss—author of “Making Beats: The Art of Sample-Based Hip Hop”—has a blog and it looks to be quite good.

- Just imagine how my girl feels…: …On the plane scared as hell that her guy look like Emitt Till.

- Gyeah, gyeah, gyeah!: Best sequel ever(snippet only) to the best song ever.

-e

Anything is plenty, mang...

- Devin the Dude is the best rapper ever: Last night’s show was quite spectacular. Mr. the Dude is one of the most charismatic, entertaining, and good-vibed dudes I’ve ever had the pleasure of seeing perform. He’s just one of those people that oozes with this “No matter how bad life is, I fucking love it” demeanor that is so infectious. I know it’s a cheesy cliché to think of someone’s music as some sort of true expression of their personality, but I can’t shake how effectively his music seems to express his good-natured, fun-loving melancholy optimism. It’s really a beautiful thing to behold. And, as far as I’m concerned, it’s as beautiful as music gets. Anyway, the show was great and I was lucky enough to share the experience with a handful of good peoples. Shouts to all of them who will remain nameless except for Matt Sonzala. Dude is the dude and I’m real happy that NYC showed Devin and the Damage Control nation the love they deserved. Unfortunately, Paul Wall didn't make an appearance like it was rumored, but fuck it. Anything is plenty, mang! So, that all being said, I’m hungover as fuck and I want to fucking die. Let me leave you with these simple words from Mr. the Dude:

Anythang is plenty man and is better than an nothin at all
You ain't the only one who got problems
You ain't the only one who knows pain
Get up off your ass and just solve it
You still got a chance to try to change - try this shit again

-e

But ninja you don't know me...

- First of all...: ...let me take time to brush my shoulders off and ask you, what the fuck is this shit? What does this shit mean? What is BlogShares? Somebody inform me.

- Larry Brown is a Fucking Jack Ass: My criticisms of Larry Brown are hardly unique: he single-handedly destroyed the Sixers after realizing that the team he hand-selected and created couldn’t really be taken any further than it already had; he tried his damndest to make everyone believe that Allen Iverson was a selfish thug who didn’t practice and couldn’t be coached; he lost the Olympics for us by refusing to play Wade, Anthony, and Lebron, presumably because they were too young or some bullshit; his rather sketchy departure from Philly to join the Detroit Pistons only a couple weeks after the Pistons beat the Sixers in the play-offs (the implication being that he was actually talking to Detroit DURING the series). But this new shit is pretty fucking redonkulous to me. For those that haven’t heard, there are rumors about coach Brown resigning from the Pistons headcoach position in order to be come President of Basketball operations at Cleveland. I don’t care to comment on how bad of an idea that is for the Cavs, but I just wanna say, how is it that this jackass can get away with this bullshit? How can we allow Larry Brown to be focusing on anything but his current play-off series? Remember when Vince Carter wanted to walk in his graduation ceremony during the Raptors play-off series and everyone was all up in arms about how much of a distraction it would be to his team and how irresponsible it was? How come we can bitch at the players about distractions (even legitimate ones like wanting to walk in your graduation ceremony?! I respect the eff outta Vince for doing that shit), but Larry Brown can do anything he damn well pleases? Is it just because he’s such a “classy guy” or some shit so we give him the benefit of the doubt? Fuck Larry Brown. I’m happy he got his ring because he truly is one of the greatest coaches of all time, but dude is not as “classy” as he wants the world to believe and I am forever routing against him and his cute ass wife.

- Rick Rock Beats: Studio vid and the funky drum-drummin’ vid.

- Damn! You heard that new ringtone?!: “We live in a beautiful world… Yes we do, yes we doooo.” How weird is this shit?

- The only movement movin’: Umeancompetitor keeps swearing he’s gonna stop posting Dipset mp3s. Well he hasn’t yet and I’m happy he hasn’t. Go!. It’s sensory overload over there, though. Be careful.

- Mr. Babylon: Stories from the inside: This blog is fucking great. It’s some dude blogging about his teaching experiences at what he calls a “shitty Bronx High School.” The story about Pedro getting his chain snatched is good. So is the one about Pastrami and cultural bias. I will be reading the rest of this shit today.

- Found: This made me want to read the book “Found: The Best Lost, Tossed, and Forgotten Items From Around the World.” Too bad I can’t do anything but fall-the-fuck-asleep-immediately when I get on the train these days.

- Devin the Dude: Devin the Dude tonight with my homies Spank Rock and a nameless special guest (who is one of my very special-est BFFs) to open for the dude (MP3s in here). Shit should be fun. Forties beforehand with good peoples, too. I’m hype. Should be a nice, pleasant evening and a much better way to spend my June 1 than I originally had planned. EDIT: Holler at me if you see me. I'll be the bol rocking a "DON'T WATCH ME, WATCH TV" shirt.

- Happy Berfsday, Jamie: Don’t think I forgot, homie!

-e