Thursday, August 18, 2005

I got my mom still thinkin' her boy good...

How's the new look?



- Partaaaaaaaaay!: Come to Filo’s tonight and watch me DJ. My boys from Cali are fixing to be in town and we’re gonna be getting it in all weekend. It’s not obnoxiously hot out, Filo’s has got some cheap beers for that ass, and I’m gonna be rocking that gutter hip-hop, dancehall, r&b shit until you fall-out and holler at a drunk person’s private parts. Basically you have no excuse to not come holler at me. So, do yourself a favor and do the damn thing. Shit’ll be fun. 408 South 2nd Street. Just north of South Street. Come holler.

- Hah!: Dancing on graves is really underrated... especially if a Satanist is doing the dancing.

- Beastiality Gone Wrong: Turns out beastiality isn’t the safe, healthy alternative to normal, human sex that we all thought it was. Fuck. Every time we reach out to nature and try to remove ourselves from ourselves (sort’ve de-anthropomorphize the world), we get royally screwed (figuratively speaking, of course). The real question is: where do we go from here? Actually, the real REAL question is: how the fuck do you get a horse to fuck you in the ass? It’s hard enough to get a drunk girl to go home with you. Drunk girls at least speak human and can be convinced and/or drugged. But, a fucking horse? Isn’t riding a horse sometimes hard? I mean, don’t they buck and wil’ out and shit? It’s gotta be easier to ride a horse than to get one to ride you, right? Shit. I don’t know whether to be impressed at this dude’s multi-faceted game or disgusted by his ability to neigh his way into intercourse with a fucking HORSE.

- Thank God for Digital Cameras: If you get bored and have a digital camera, I suggest you put some stuff on your cat. It’s weird but (apparently) very necessary.

- Keyshia Cole: Keyshia Cole’s album “The Way It Is” bangs. Don’t believe me? David agrees.

- Capo!: MTV is streaming Jim Jones’ new album here. Peep.

- Real World: Forgot to link the Real World re-cap the other day. I’m so happy I don’t have to watch this stupid show anymore.

-e

7 Comments:

At 8:42 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

why is that jim jones album on koch?

 
At 9:06 AM, Anonymous kibby said...

Emil. I'm convinced that the man who died from fucking the horse is none other than Spencer Dudley, my old neighbor. Or he was a least featured in the video tapes that they found at the ranch. That shit is crazy. Also, stuff on cats might be the best thing i've seen all week. thank you for that. I'm gonna get to submitting my many photos of stuff on robot and mohawk.

 
At 9:49 AM, Blogger emynd said...

Kibby,

I wouldn't be surprised at all if the perp was indeed the infamous Spencer Dudley. Of course, this shit did happen in Seattle (I think) so it'd be a bit weird if he went all the way out west to get fucked by a horse (maybe he met him on the internet?), but I guess traveling across the country to be sodomized by a horse isn't that much weirder than wanting to be sodomized by a horse in the first place. Did you read the full article? Peep this portion: "Police are still making sure that sex was not forced on the smaller, weaker animals, thus constituting animal cruelty (which is a crime)." I like how what consitutes "animal cruelty" is the animal's size, as if the bigger animal should be able to express his lack of consent physically (i.e. running away or kicking the human wanting to be sodomized). In other words, it's not "animal cruelty" if it's a big animal who doesn't somehow physically express a "No" response. Sort've concludes then that if the big animal doesn't fend off the sexual assailant, then the animal clearly consents and WANTS to have sex with the man. That's awesome.

-e

 
At 10:06 AM, Blogger Mr. Babylon said...

it's the same with big gurls.

 
At 4:36 PM, Blogger mike said...

Old template was better.

 
At 5:23 PM, Blogger Drew said...

Spencer Dudley is one of the most fucked up things I've ever heard about. And, Kibby and I used to put shit on her cat Mohawk all day and he wouldn't even care. I think he's Stuff On Cats material.

 
At 8:43 PM, Blogger Coffy With Cream said...

Enumclaw is a nickle-bit outside o' the big city, but it's close enough for the national news' sake.

I only hope that the folks who own this farm carry around large-ish, diamond-encrusted chalices to showcase their extreme equine pimpitude.

That's gross, man.

 

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