Friday, October 21, 2005

Menace II Sobriety -- Tonight!

This flier looks like shit here but looks awesome in person.
I’m the best graphic designer ever.

- Rap Music (No Irony): OK, so I love Hollertronix and Diplo and Beezy are my dudes, but for better or for worse, these guys sparked a movement in Philly that I like to call the “I can play anything at all in the club” movement. Sure, it can be fun to hear some Block Party in the club and I will never complain about hearing some INXS mixed in nicely, but as beautiful as a song “Paint it Black” is, is that really something folks want to shake their ass to? And, if so, are these the types of folks I want to be around, especially considering that most of these people find it excessively funny to dance to old Mary J Blige songs and Wu-Tang joints. The fuck is so funny about that shit, you terds? That shit is fucking HOT. So, in that vein, Bo Bliz, Lady Jae, and I are doing a party called “Menace II Sobriety” where we are going to—god forbid—actually stick to a format and won’t play everything under the sun from the Stones to the Streets. So, if you like classic hip-hop, dancehall, and r&b un-ironically (i.e. you actually like the music you’re hearing) come to our party tonight. We are gonna rock everything from Tribe to Jeezy to DJ Technics (without all the hipster-weirdness that is by now standard in all Philly DJ sets) at the Blue Horseshoe and will promptly beat up anyone that ain’t acting right. So, tonight (and every third Friday!) 10PM to 2AM. 10 South 20th Street (just south of Market)!

- God, Beards, and Hair: Well, if you’ve ever been interested in the influence of politics and religion on the hair and beard, this article is for you. I haven’t read it yet, but I bet there’s some interesting stuff that we can link up to the stupid-ass dress-code policy the stupid-ass NBA has stupidly adopted. More on this later after I read the article.

- Race and the Dress Code: Speaking of the stupid-ass NBA and its stupid-ass dress-code policy, this is one of the few sensible things that’s been written about it. Of course it doesn’t overtly address the issue most at stake “race,” but white folks are notoriously good at under-valuing the importance of “race” in these issues (cue high voice: “Oh stop playing the race card!”). Steven Jackson—one that’s never been hesitant to throw punches, both literally and figuratively—thinks it’s racist because it’s his god-given right as a black man to rock medallions. I don’t necessarily agree with his logic (logic that I’m obviously exaggerating), but I do think it’s “racist”—not because the rules are prohibiting mostly black people from dressing a certain way, nor because the rules are pretty much based on the fashion-sense of most black stars like Iverson. The dress-code is racist because it is an attempt to appease a racist audience that has lost interest in the NBA. Older white folks don’t like the NBA anymore. They claim it’s because the game is excessively “individualized” (although the Spurs and Pistons--the last few champions--are teams that are excessively un-individualized, and as the ratings show, the least fun to watch) and because it’s less “pure” (i.e. just about the money), or because it’s too low-scoring (which I’m not actually convinced of… somebody point me to some statistics that show that 80’s and 90’s were REALLY that much more high-scoring. Sure, we all remember the Lakers and Celtics serieses that reached 120 points each every game, but I highly fucking doubt the Pistons-Bulls serieses reached that high and I highly fucking doubt MOST games were really that high-scoring), but the fact of the matter is the game is less-popular because the folks who were buying tickets in the past (rich white folks) don’t like the game anymore because it’s “too black.” This dress-code is an attempt to roll back the league’s “black” image to appease its (some mildly, some not so mildly) racist fans. End of story. It’s racist. It’s obviously not on the same level as lynching or the Katrina aid, but nonetheless, it’s motivated by race and racist. Shockingly, even freedarko associate Bethlehem Shoals is hesitant to blow the “racist” whistle. What the fuck? Shoals is always good for some gold though and says (in a complete different context) “i don't buy that espn piece that artest is turning into the next rodman. that's like saying freeway is the next chris cornell.” Haha! Anyway, the only argument that is really valid for being “pro-dress-code” is that this shit was in the collective bargaining agreement that the Player’s Association agreed upon. Heh. I guess the players should’ve read that shit before they agreed to agree with it, huh? Stupid black people! They can’t even read! I do think that the dress-code is going to make for some interesting outfits though. Who’s gonna be the first person to wear a sport’s jacket with a snowman screen printed on the back? I wonder if bullet-proof vests are banned, too. Someone should rock one as a sweater-vest.

- Speaking of Racism: These girls aren’t “racist,” they’re just “white nationalists.” Jeez! Stop playing the race card! In all honesty, this is one of the most disgusting things I’ve ever seen. Some dude on a messageboard said “These girls are gonna be doing ‘blacks on blondes’ porn in a couple years.” It’s funny because it’s true.

- Beer and Vaginas: I guess if you like to perform oral sex on a girl, there’s not a lot of reason to be super disgusted by this, but uh, shit’s pretty nasty. However, it makes for some interesting marketing opportunities. If they were smart, they’d try to enroll some celebrities and make special, individualized brews from celebrities’ vaginas. There’s probably at least a million dudes that would love to drink a beer made from Scarlett Johanson’s yeast.

- Beer and (c)Rap: Serg thinks he’s such a man but he hurt himself at a fucking Glue show. I heard he hurt himself right in between the opening prayer session and the “WWJD” freestyle cipher. Sucka! Anyway, just kidding… Adeem and Maker are two of the nicest people ever. Hey guys! I do like that Serg laughs at this guy though. Super hot picture. Peep the file name, too. Hah.

- Fuck and Stuff: If you check the same three message-boards that I do, there’s really no reason to come to my blog because all I do is post stuff on here that other people have found elsewhere and then occasionally write like 500 words calling somebody a “racist.” This blog should be called “Other People’s Stuff and Emil Calling People Racist(s)” and should be relocated to Or not. Anyway, fuck this book and fuck DJ Ayres for putting me up on it.



At 7:38 AM, Blogger Casi G said...

I love this blog

At 8:18 AM, Blogger Bethlehem Shoals said...


i've been developing my dress code stance over the last few days, and while i agree with you that it is catering to a racist, close-minded "majority" fanbase (see phil's comments, wtf?!?!!?), i think style will have the last laugh. we may have seen the last of chains and skullies on the bench, but when players start to step up their suit game, you're going to see a whole 'nother level of decency-strafing and standard-crashing.

compared to the zany suit, the oversized chain is a fad; in three months, those same obnoxious middle-aged white fans will be having a cow over the totally insane, and even more individualized, shit you'll be seeing stars in. and there won't be a fucking thing stern can do about it. the nba will become its own fashion palace, instead of subsisting off of the teat of hip-hop.

oh yeah and some other top secret shit i have to ask you about, involving my impending stop off in philly and a mission for freedom

At 12:09 PM, Blogger kc said...

while racist intentions might have led to the instituiton of the dress code, i think it is the right move (not racism, but the actual dress code).

i'm all for jerseys and fitted hats, but can't these dudes show some respect for the game, the fans, and (fashion) legends like dr. j by dressing somewhat professionally on the sidelines?

when i was playing hoops for the national powerhouse brandeis university, we had to wear a shirt and tie at all times (even on the court). even before that, it was the same deal in high school. these players (the ones who went to college) know the drill by now. what is their beef????

on the subject of djs who play too much rock music...that was how i marketed you to the promoter so make sure to bring your INXS records.

At 1:13 PM, Anonymous faux_rillz said...

KC: why does a reluctance to put on a suit = lack of respect for the game?

Seriously, where is the relationship?

At 3:10 PM, Blogger G said...

"opening prayer session" - i was rollin on that one, what up thug!

At 2:49 PM, Anonymous adult dating said...

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