You don't know my name...

- Iverson on Punk’d: Ok, I haven’t seen Iverson on Punk’d yet but I’m sure it’s great. Freedarko says that Iverson proves in it, once again, that he is “one of the most likable players of all time” and I, for one, believe them. Somebody find me a WMV of that bitch. An MPG or AVI will do too, but no MOVs. I can’t peep that Quicktime bullshit at work. Darko also posted a link to this dunk that Dr. Robert originally put me up on. This is the word “dunked on” personified. Sickening. But, look at the crowd afterwards. What is it about putting your hands in the air? It’s like an innate way to express happy disbelief and victory. Why is that? I don’t think that shit’s socialized—I think it’s instinctual. Somebody get a grant and some funding and then conduct a test… but find that Iverson Punk’d shit first. I’m sure I could wait to see it on a re-run on MTV, but the point is, I want to see it now.

- Guess Who’s Biddack: Serg posted some new shit and it’s about 40’s. This guy is the shit on so many levels.

- Portal to Hell: I always knew Southern California was as close to hell as you could get.

- Three Suns: This is for the latent astronomer in us all. Apparently, “astronomers have detected a planet outside our solar system with not one, but three suns, a finding that challenges astronomers' theories of planetary formation.” Word?

- Fly, Pelican, Fly: Hands down, the best scene in “Scarface” is the scene where Tony Montana is sittin’ in his big ass bath tub watching TV, he sees some flamingos on TV and says “Fly, Pelican, fllyyy!” That shit cracks me the fuck up every time. It’s like, such a juvenile joke, but it’s fucking hilarious. So, ever since then, I’ve held a special place in my heart for both flamingos (except for lawn-flamingos which are just creepy) and pelicans. That is why I find this story about inexplicable pelican deaths particularly sad. To all my real live pelicans out there: fly, y’all… fly (and when I say “pelicans,” I mean “pelicans and flamingos.” Holler).

- 4 and Chinese: OK, I know messageboards aren’t exactly the most credible places in the world for information, but according to several people in this post, Chinese people are very superstitious about the number four. In fact, an architect who works in Hong Kong says “Many new residential buildings in this neck of the woods do not have any of the following: 4th, 14th, 24th etc (4 sounds like "Death" in Mandarin and Cantonese); 7th, 17th, 27th etc (Chinese mourning period goes in cycles of 7 days); and 13th floor (something for the westerner).” I just find it astonishing that superstition comes into play so seriously with shit like this. Yet again, good ol’ Teddy Adorno’s (bio) contemporary relevancy is illustrated.

- ”Girl, you’ve really got to do something about your dark butthole”: Via Poplicks, we find this strangely ridiculous and yet wholly American tidbit. Another reason why So’Cal is as close to hell as you can get without booking a flight in the hand-basket-to-actual-hell. I’ll be completely honest with you: even while watching porn, I have never ONCE thought “Damn, that girl’s butthole is too dark.” I have definitely thought “Damn, this scene would be way better without that dude’s butthole having such a prominent presence on the screen” (dudes in straight porn should wear boxers or some shit), but never ever ever have I even considered if someone’s bum hole was adequately hued. Call me old-fashioned.

- Mo’ Pollack: This is a little bit old by now, and Free Darko hates him (which—since I dickeat them so hard—makes me feel guilty for liking him), but Neal Pollack is funny.

- Drop Me a Comment: You people should comment more so I can get a rough idea of how many people actually read this thing. I have no idea how to tell and I’m really curious. Maybe I should get a web-counter? How do I do that shit? I’m an idiot. I get the feeling that the only people that read it are like Caps, KC, my buddy Ian, and a few other people, but I’m curious. So post a comment saying “You’re an idiot” or something. Thanks!

-e