Friday, July 15, 2005

You don't know my name...

- Iverson on Punk’d: Ok, I haven’t seen Iverson on Punk’d yet but I’m sure it’s great. Freedarko says that Iverson proves in it, once again, that he is “one of the most likable players of all time” and I, for one, believe them. Somebody find me a WMV of that bitch. An MPG or AVI will do too, but no MOVs. I can’t peep that Quicktime bullshit at work. Darko also posted a link to this dunk that Dr. Robert originally put me up on. This is the word “dunked on” personified. Sickening. But, look at the crowd afterwards. What is it about putting your hands in the air? It’s like an innate way to express happy disbelief and victory. Why is that? I don’t think that shit’s socialized—I think it’s instinctual. Somebody get a grant and some funding and then conduct a test… but find that Iverson Punk’d shit first. I’m sure I could wait to see it on a re-run on MTV, but the point is, I want to see it now.

- Guess Who’s Biddack: Serg posted some new shit and it’s about 40’s. This guy is the shit on so many levels.

- Portal to Hell: I always knew Southern California was as close to hell as you could get.

- Three Suns: This is for the latent astronomer in us all. Apparently, “astronomers have detected a planet outside our solar system with not one, but three suns, a finding that challenges astronomers' theories of planetary formation.” Word?

- Fly, Pelican, Fly: Hands down, the best scene in “Scarface” is the scene where Tony Montana is sittin’ in his big ass bath tub watching TV, he sees some flamingos on TV and says “Fly, Pelican, fllyyy!” That shit cracks me the fuck up every time. It’s like, such a juvenile joke, but it’s fucking hilarious. So, ever since then, I’ve held a special place in my heart for both flamingos (except for lawn-flamingos which are just creepy) and pelicans. That is why I find this story about inexplicable pelican deaths particularly sad. To all my real live pelicans out there: fly, y’all… fly (and when I say “pelicans,” I mean “pelicans and flamingos.” Holler).

- 4 and Chinese: OK, I know messageboards aren’t exactly the most credible places in the world for information, but according to several people in this post, Chinese people are very superstitious about the number four. In fact, an architect who works in Hong Kong says “Many new residential buildings in this neck of the woods do not have any of the following: 4th, 14th, 24th etc (4 sounds like "Death" in Mandarin and Cantonese); 7th, 17th, 27th etc (Chinese mourning period goes in cycles of 7 days); and 13th floor (something for the westerner).” I just find it astonishing that superstition comes into play so seriously with shit like this. Yet again, good ol’ Teddy Adorno’s (bio) contemporary relevancy is illustrated.

- ”Girl, you’ve really got to do something about your dark butthole”: Via Poplicks, we find this strangely ridiculous and yet wholly American tidbit. Another reason why So’Cal is as close to hell as you can get without booking a flight in the hand-basket-to-actual-hell. I’ll be completely honest with you: even while watching porn, I have never ONCE thought “Damn, that girl’s butthole is too dark.” I have definitely thought “Damn, this scene would be way better without that dude’s butthole having such a prominent presence on the screen” (dudes in straight porn should wear boxers or some shit), but never ever ever have I even considered if someone’s bum hole was adequately hued. Call me old-fashioned.

- Mo’ Pollack: This is a little bit old by now, and Free Darko hates him (which—since I dickeat them so hard—makes me feel guilty for liking him), but Neal Pollack is funny.

- Drop Me a Comment: You people should comment more so I can get a rough idea of how many people actually read this thing. I have no idea how to tell and I’m really curious. Maybe I should get a web-counter? How do I do that shit? I’m an idiot. I get the feeling that the only people that read it are like Caps, KC, my buddy Ian, and a few other people, but I’m curious. So post a comment saying “You’re an idiot” or something. Thanks!

-e

14 Comments:

At 7:28 AM, Blogger 893 said...

This is what I use for stats. It's pretty easy...

 
At 7:39 AM, Blogger Junichi said...

What's cracking, emynd? And why are you so old-fashioned?

 
At 8:17 AM, Blogger Ming-Tzu said...

GrandGood in the house...wanna see that Iverson video too...he's probably one of the nicest guys in the NBA but he gets a bad rep cause of the damn media

 
At 9:08 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're an idiot.

-Not Caps

 
At 9:10 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Seriously, tho: "Tony Montano"? "www.the-stencil.com"? GET THEM PROOF-READING SKILLS UP, DOG

 
At 10:01 AM, Blogger emynd said...

Blah. Proofreading? You try getting 2 hours of sleep.

I'll give you "Montano," but "the-stencil" was just a brain fart... not a proofreading error.

-e

 
At 10:12 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

emil, i have already pm'd my nh appreciation over on the hlrnerd thing.
aaron

 
At 10:45 AM, Blogger Brown Recluse, Esq. said...

i've been reading, appreciating the longer, more frequent posts, especially when you "dick eat" freedarko. no homo??

 
At 3:49 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

shout.

i read on the regular & dig ur flow.

there was a funny as hell anal bleaching joke on snl wkend update months back...very subdued delivery & it was like, "Amy, guess what we chipped in for and got you for your birthday..."

 
At 11:03 PM, Blogger Mike said...

keep doing what you do man.

 
At 10:50 AM, Blogger Pearsall Helms said...

I use extreme tracking, which gives you lots of stats and stuff, as you can see at my counter.

 
At 6:02 PM, Blogger David said...

Emil is that bol. Even if he likes state prop more than slim thugga.

 
At 9:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are one of the top ten worst bloggers we got. You're my motherfucker. I'm deep down dirty south right now (family reunion in eastern tennesee/chilling outside Carrborro NC/about to head to the DEC.) but when I get back to NYC we should hoop it up. All you other pussies are invited too.

-Mr. Babs/Doc Rob

 
At 8:01 AM, Blogger SergDun said...

yeah dude you suck pretty hard

 

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