Monday, April 25, 2005

Soldering people together creating a human sculpture...

- Day Off: Took a day off on Friday to head o’er to Penn State for the Blue and White game and my sister’s 21st birthday. I went to Penn State for four and half years of my life (roughly 1600 days) and I still have no idea what the fuck the Blue and White game even is (I didn’t read the article I linked above). I think it’s just like a scrimmage between the starters and the benchers, but I have no idea how or why anyone would find this shit remotely interesting—especially since we’ve been sucky for a solid 3 years. Joe Pa is good peoples, but dude is a bit on the senile side. He needs to bow out.

- Weird: This blog is kinda scary… but dope. Scroll down for some J.R. Writer shit.

- I’m Getting Old: I think I’ve spoken about “the McTwist” before, but it’s worth re-speaking about because it’s comedy. When skateboarding on a vert ramp, when you do an inverted 540 degree air born maneuver (hah!), that shit is called a McTwist. Me and my buddy Bo both grew up skateboarding… and drinking 40s. So, it seemed only natural to transcribe the terminology from one activity to the other so we came up with the brilliant notion that drinking 5 40s in one day should be called “a McTwist.” I’ve only successfully performed one McTwist (the drinking version, not the skateboard version), but my success rate until this weekend was 100% (meaning the only time I tried it, I did it). This past weekend at Penn State seemed like a good opportunity to perform another of these fabled McTwists. So, on Saturday, we started sipping on 40s around 2:30 in the afternoon figuring that’d be plenty of time to get all 200 ounces of malt liquor (that’s about 3,000 calories) into my body before meeting up with my sister for her birthday. Well, 3 and a half forties later, I can’t keep my fucking eyes open and am passing out while watching the Pacers get STOMPED. I figured “fuck it, might as well take a nap.” Bad idea. I woke up 15 minutes later HUNG OVER. Fucking same day hangovers are so not hot. My head was killing me and I felt like I was gonna fucking die. My man Bo kept on chugging though. On the whole, he probably drank 6 40s which is impressive as fuck, especially considering when we went out later on that night he was drinking mixed drinks. Dude is a mother fucking WARRIOR. Me on the other hand? I’m a bitch and I’m getting old. I’m sorry, Bo. I let you down.

- Record Covers: There’s a shit-load of hot record covers posted over on the soulstrut board. Records are so pretty.

- Destroy and Rebuild: Here’s my deep thought for the day: destroying things is so much easier than creating things. As far as I’m concerned, it’s one of the most annoying and unfair things about life. I remember walking into the Bryce Jordan Center at Penn State the day of my graduation seeing thousands of chairs lined up all neat and shit for the graduating students to sit in during their boring ass matriculation ceremony and I thought to myself “It probably took someone hours to get all this shit all lined up and put in its proper place and shit, and it would take me all of 90 seconds to run through this place throwing the chairs everywhere and ruining hours worth of work.” Isn’t that shit annoying? Destroying shit is so much fucking quicker and easier than building shit. And I suppose the lesson from that should be something like “Creating something is that much more fulfilling and pleasurable because it takes time and effort” but fuck that shit. Fucking shit up is hella fun while putting in hella work to make something often sucks. Similarly, I always found it spectacularly annoying that it takes two people to start a relationship but only one person to end it. Like, what the fuck? What kind of shit is that? Where is the justice? If I was God, I would totally make shit like that way more balanced out.

- You mad: This is pretty got damn old but if you haven’t seen it by now, you really should. Cam is really a genius and I’m plagiarizing the following thoughts from some dude from the holler board because he’s largely on-point. In response to the following quote, “i wanted so bad to be there next to dame speaking to these dudes cause cam just made the both of them look pretty stupid. i mean he'd make a joke and dame would laugh too and the whole opportunity for realspeak was deaded” smart dude says “see, that's what i used to think like regarding o'reilly's show. but then, since real talk gets blown off and he just throws out other shit, getting things twisted and reinforcing his own statements into the audience's brains, you might as well go on that show and act a fool, maybe get a few digs in on him. trying to play a game of wits on that show is like how chris rock described why men have a disadvantage when arguing with a woman: the handicap of actually having to make sense.” Word.

- More Crack: More crack from the holler board can be found right here. That shit’s fucking hilarious.

- Zoe Strauss: My man Cosmo Baker’s sister Zoe Strauss is having her yearly photography exhibit May 1. Click here to read about the show. I’ma try my darndest to swing through.

- Finally: Love me or leave me alone. That’s all I ask.



At 10:01 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I watched bliz dump the ass end 8 ounces outta each of his 40's. Don't sleep, it's humanly impossible to drink 6 with out a complete reactor meltdown. -Brains

At 10:02 AM, Anonymous bliz said...

matt, you are a bitch. you only saw me drinking the last two of them... and i wasn't doing that shit. it really sucks for you that you are hater

At 8:49 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

no hate... just sayin' it's prepostorous to assume someone can drink 6 or 7 40's. Motherfuckers would just be exploding everywhere. -brains


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