Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Bang it in the disco...

- Random Factual Anecdote Number One: From now on, I'm starting off these stupid things with what will be called a "Random Factual Anecdote" because, frankly, I don't feel like this thing is worth updating if I don't have like, at least, three or four bulleted things to talk about and now that I've added this "RFA" thing, I can be pretty sure that I'll at least always have three bullets and we all know that three bullets is enough to kill three people... or four very small people that are standing very close together. Anyway, today's "Random Factual Anecdote" is about my favorite word "autochthonous." I used this word once in a short story in some stupid creative writing class I took in college. When my classmates were peer-reviewing it, one kid accused me of using the Microsoft Word Thesaurus to find the word in order to add some pedantic flavor to my piece when in reality I had read it in some Fitzgerald book (either "The Beautiful and the Damned" or "This Side of Paradise." I think it was "TBATD".) I was like "Look, fucko, my version of Microsoft Word didn't even aknowledge that 'autochthonous' was a word that was spelled correctly let alone have it in its puny little Thesaurus so, first of all, fuck you, and second of all, technically speaking, that means I'm smarter than both my computer AND Bill Gates and most likely you. So take that you fucking four-eyed homo." I threw in the "homo" bit because of the fact that his fucking stupid story was about going into the forest and meeting a deer and feeding it and petting it or something. It was, quite frankly, really fucking gay so I felt justified in calling him a "homo." Anyway, then the whole class laughed at the deer-loving gay man, they all commended my perfect word choice, then the gay man committed suicide several days later, and I got a B+ on my story (not necessarily in that order). (If you haven't noticed yet, the "Random Factual Anecdote" section will only be partially "Factual." It will however be 100% "Random" and 100% "Anecdotal". You can decide for yourself what percentage of "Factuality" each and every "RAF" achieves).

- OADF: I was recently having a conversation with a new-found homie of mine about how we are both "over-analytical detail freaks" (or affectionately refered to as "OADF" for short). The conversation went something like this: Her: "I'm an over-analytical detail freak." Me: "I'm MORE of an OADF." Interesting, no? Anyway, here's a funny piece that all OADFs should be able to appreciate from the wonderful wonderful world of McSweeney's.

- Multiple Contusions, Stab Wounds, Abbrasions: I posted some Oschino MP3s over on the shrimp for your listening pleasure. Dude is really real. Any rapper that eats at Boston Market on a regular basis can be down with me. Boston Market on Front and Snyder, stand up!!

- Fuck NJ Transit: I got to work a half hour late today because of stupid train delays. Fuck that shit. This is just a wasted bullet to make this post have four bullets. It's obvious, isn't it? Fuck. Oh well.

-e

2 Comments:

At 11:41 AM, Blogger CultStatus said...

long time no post man....

seeing how you ref saafir in your title, can you confirm or debunk the story that he moved to atl?

i knew it to be a parody, saying how he looked like TI, but i just read it again in a serious manner..

get at me on my new blog.. holler

 
At 12:32 PM, Blogger G said...

... curious how you end up doing (posting?) more when it appears you have less time. Glad to see your updates. By the way, I was recently reading a description of my ancestors (some of them anyway) and it described them as autochthonous to their region of Spain (Basque region). But later on it goes on to describe the earliest inhabitants of this area as a people who migrated from elsewhere...anyway,it didn't make sense to me so I had to look up autochthonous. Just thought it was funny that you posted about that word. I find it curious. Even though they technically don't seem to be autochthonous they are definitely considered "indigenous" and their language (euskaria) is almost definitely a "language isoloate." Don't ask why I decided to share this....I think I'm procrastinating at work.

 

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