Schizophrenic Tenant Number One

I'm blogging again.

2006-12-05T15:18:00.000-08:00

I'm back.

Just not here.

Here.

Buy a shirt or a CD or something. Otherwise, just read about me calling people racist.

-e

I'ma a T-R-A-P-S-T-R

2006-03-28T06:48:00.000-08:00

And we aint leavin’ till 6 in the morn

- Two T’ings: This and then, for the after-party till 6 in the AM, this. Nuff said. Fo’rillzuhbub.

- NO MORE CONDOMS: This drug my prevent HIV infection. That’s great news for college students and binge drinkers everywhere! But, in all seriousness, “HIV spreads to 10 people every minute, 5 million every year.” That’s pretty insane.

- Teenagers are Getting Less Sleep: Apparently, teenagers are getting less sleep than they used to because of video games. Who in the fuck gives a fuck?

- Drive-In Massage Parlor: This is a great idea… and the government is behind it! I’ve got to say, it’s almost a better idea than my Nap-Hotel where you can rent a room at an hourly rate to take a nap (most likely during lunchhour at work) ~~or take a prostitute and/or loved one there and knock one out real quick~~.

-e

The Crying Game

2006-03-24T06:32:00.000-08:00

"Mommy, are you and daddy getting a divorce because of me?"

- Crying Ass Bitches: It doesn’t take much to make my bitch ass sob like a little baby, but damn straight I’m not gonna fucking cry before the fucking game is over like bitch ass little Adam Morrison did last night. With 2.6 seconds left in the game, dude is sobbing like his daddy just told him he and his mommy are getting a divorce. Dude, buck the fuck up and go win the fucking game, you fucking pussy. That mustache isn’t fooling anyone anymore. Reddick cried, too. What’s with tournament this year? Seems like more and more dudes are going out like crying-ass hoes. I think Reddick’s draft position fell like 15 positions with his dismal performance last night.

- Radiodread: Sometimes I like to post stuff that I know will make my friends vomit. Well, this Radiohead reggae album should absolutely ruin my man D***el’s morning. And, for god’s sake, they called it “Radiodread”! Obviously, they meant this dread and not this one. The Culture Industry is a funny beast.

- Nerds Unite: Junichi from Poplicks has a freaking hilarious post about the unholy union of Transformers and Star Wars. I gleamed the following two bullets from the comments section that followed that post. By the way, speaking of Poplicks, O-Dub’s article about Bay Area rap is a good primer. E-40’s album debuted at #3 on the Billboard charts!! Before you go and try to “ghostride the whip,” peep this dumb shit and this even dumber shit. That second one might ruin your lunch though. Beware.

- Vibrators: Need a present for your 12 year old sister? Look no further than the Hello Kitty vibrator! Also, peep the T-Shirts. Seriously. Do it. Click on that link, then scroll all the way down and explain to me what the hell that shirt at the bottom has to do with Hello Kitty. I’m so confused.

- Jesus: He saves. Also, if you record someone saying “Jesus” and then reverse it, they say “sausage.” Seriously. Try it. I mean, it’s not a clean “sausage” pronunciation. It sounds more like an Eastern European saying “sausage” with an accent, but still. It’s funny. “God” backwards is “dog” and “Jesus” backwards is “Sausage.” If there is a higher power, he likes phallic meat.

-e

Back for the first time

2006-03-21T20:22:00.000-08:00

+ =

Well over a month ago, the dude Emil told y'all who I am and what I'm about (i.e. Robert, posting in this blog). I didn't show up then, though. Time was, three months ago to the day, I'd apologize to the homie for dropping the ball on him. Since then I learned something: people with newborn babies don't owe anyone apologies. Having a newborn allows me a degree of slack that I've never known. New parents get random gifts, extensions on projects, and incredible parking spots. You have to try it.

So I'm going to be working myself in right about now. I bet Emil thought I'd given up. Jokes on you, Jack.

The rest of this post will be organized like an Emil post, so as not to throw the locals off too hard.

On the infamous Papoose/Kay Slay confrontation: What's worse? Ignorance in the form of Kay Slay dissing on the snap dance or, umm, intelligence in the form of this DJ Raedawn character demanding that Papoose "stop the demonic violence"? People talk about what's happened to hip hop and 'O! The Ignorance' but way too often what passes as intelligent in hip hop is fundamentalist Abrahamic bullshit or it's shameless, hoary Marxism, conspiracy theories, and atavistic black Nationalism or it's some crazy space shit that don't make no sense. Sometimes, like this, it's warmed over hippy banalities. It's arrogance without a cause and conflates rebelliousness with petulance. It's always self-serious and might just deserve a beatdown, or at least an ejection from the show.

Oh and Kay Slay, next time you're in the A, hit up Sevananda if you're hunting for dreads there. I promise they exist.

Killrichpeopleandtaketheirmoney.com: Thasss right. The best part is the message to the 1337: pwn t3h government.

Ever wonder what the guys who do the voiceovers for movie trailers look like? Me either but still I got a few "oh it's that guy's" out here.

Crushed like a bug on the ground.

2006-03-21T07:11:00.000-08:00

"My fellow bandmates are simply too
colourful and goofy whilst I am rather
obviously the genius of this programme!"

- Thom Yorke Going Solo: The boy is doing a solo album? I’m not sure if that's a good look.

- Women Pleads No Contest for Finger Biting: The funniest part of this article isn’t the finger biting. It’s what the argument was over: a kitten.

- Judge Halts Sales of “Ready To Die”: Elsewhere I’ve explained why I think intellectual property is a crock of shit, but unfortunately, capitalism doesn’t see it that way and we still have shit like this happening to rappening. Weak.

- Stop Snitching!: Believe me when I say this: I’ve never smoked weed. Never have and likely never will. Why? The simple answer is that I never really had any desire to do so. The more complicated answer has something to do with the fact that I’ve gone this long without smoking it that I kinda feel like I should stick to my guns and just stay away from the shit. The even more complicated answer has a lot to do with me seeing a bunch of folks I know smoke way too much weed and turn into completely different, wack people while high. An ex-girl of mine was like this and it would drive me fucking insane. So, take not: just because I listen to a great deal of rap music, have curly hair and a beard does not mean I smoke weed. Got it? That being said, I’ve got no beef with anyone who smokes weed and don’t really give a fuck if you do (unless you’re going to be my girlfriend and turn into a heartless, indifferent rock when you’re high). But, if a teacher was nice enough to give me some weed, the very last thing I’d do is snitch on dude. Somebody needs to kick this kid’s ass or bribe DJ Ayres to punch him in the dick (click and scroll down until you see orange text).

- Adam Morrison: I really don’t fucking like Adam Morrison. I’m not sure why. He’s pretty good. I just think he’s a jack-ass. That’s the great thing about sports. You can totally dislike a guy for no real reason and once pressed to explain it, you can just sort’ve say “I dunno. He’s a fucking jackass” and that’s all you really gotta say. So, mostly: fuck that dude. In other news, my Bracket is kinda jacked. I’m middle of the road in all my pools that I’m in, which basically means I’ve got a chance if Villanova wins it all. Otherwise, I’m kinda screwed. Oh well.

- Fuck a Spider: I don’t fuck with spiders. Never have, never will. To all future wives: if you are scared of spiders, I can’t marry you ~~because I’m scared of them too and that just wouldn’t work~~.

- Shawls: My new pretty-homo fashion accessory? Shawls. I predict TI biting my Shawl game in his next video. Game recognize game.

-e

Pretty Girls Make Graves

2006-03-16T06:30:00.000-08:00

"Pretty girls make graves" is my favorite Keraouc line from his best book

- Liz from Legwarmers: This jawn Liz from Legwarmers is my new favorite ~~person~~ blogger. Read her shit urryday. She actually updates her shit and does long, interesting, funny pieces.

- T-Shirts For Sale: Buy T-Shirts from me. I need your money to buy beer.

- Emynd & Bo Bliz Lemon-Red Mix: Bo and I did a free, downloadable mix for Lemon-Red and it’s the best thing you’ve ever heard. Download it right here.

- LowBeezey!: Lowbudget from Hollertronix hits us with some mixes of his own from when he was like 16. So trill.

- Double Helix in Space: Man, the fact that a double helix was spotted in space is pretty fucking awesome.

- AirCockThrust: Nuff said.

- St. Patrick was Welsh: Hey Irish people, guess what? St. Patrick was Welsh. Get over it. I don’t mind if you guys drink on March 17, but don’t pretend like this dude has much to do with it. On the bright side, Shamrock shakes are back if you like that sort’ve thing.

- Die, LB, Die: This is a bit on the old side now, but eff it. Larry Brown sucks. His recently intensified feud with Marbury was entirely predictable, but seeing it play out is pretty fucking pathetic. I want to smack LB in the god damn face. Eff that fucking dude.

- Get Money: Suing yourself really isn’t a bad “get rich quick” scheme. Didn’t exactly work, but I applaud the effort.

- Romance: Hmmm. As my buddy Ian so eloquently put it: “Romance is so… depressing.”

- More Stuff on Cats: I posted about this shit a long time ago, but it’s updated frequently and it’s still as awesome as ever. Put stuff on your cat. Now.

- Boots from the Coup: My main man CocaineBlunts was kind enough to transcribe a beautiful passage that Boots from the Coup delivered at some hip-hop roundtable. Boots is killing it. Read it or die.

-e

Get money till I die, got my hand on the bible...

2006-02-24T06:15:00.000-08:00

Rock wit' it, roll wit' it...
or do like I do, drink beer from it

- Get Ya Hustle On: You’ve probably seen Juve’s masterpiece “Get Yo’ Hustle On” by now, but if you haven’t peep. It’s really great. Some folks find the need to comment on the apparent contradictory messages between the song itself and the video. My thoughts on this absolutely ridiculous criticism are as follows:

I find the criticism of "the message" of this song absolutely fucking ridiculous. It's not a fucking accident that the video is so critical of the government while the lyrics of this song seem to just condone crack selling. To assume that it's just some sort of accident is to give Juvenile absolutely no credit and is to ignore the role of the rhetorical technique known as "signifyin(g)" in the history of black music(s).

This shit is flat out great... at least rhetorically. I obviously don't think it's particularly good advice to literally advise everyone to go sell crack and I don't think Juvenile really thinks that selling crack is really going to help New Orleans in any large-scale, long-lasting way. This shit is obviously on some "Fuck it... they didn't help us before this shit, they didn't help us during, and if they're not gonna help us after the shit either, we're gonna do what the fuck we gotta do to survive."

The whole thing about Katrina was never so much that FEMA dropped the ball--even though they definitely did--but that none of these people deserved to be in such dire situations in the first place that allowed so many of us to overlook them so easily, right? So, what has changed since Katrina? Pretty much fucking nothing. There's still poor people everywhere who are fucked, so fuck it: the only thing for many of these folks to do is keep hustling or start hustling.

If you wanna read this song purely as straightforward "advice" or some shit, obviously you're gonna be let down (and I think it's always a mistake to read black music as straightforward). But, if you take this song along with the images portrayed in this video seriously, I don't know how you can see it as anything but very passionate and important criticism.

In other words, if we agree that in the blues, "the message" of the song was actually much more complex criticism than the lyrics suggested on the surface, why can't the same thing be said about hip-hop? It is after all black music that comes from very similar music traditions.

Again, I don't know how you can separate the video's messages and the song's message. To me, it is not a fucking coincidence that the two are paired together as such. They act as criticism together. To read it any other way, I think, is to ignore the history and tropes of black music.

- Autistic Folks: This is hardly a groundbreaking insight, but man, autistic people are an interesting breed of folks, especially the “idiot savant” ones who are capable of pretty inhuman feats of math, artistry, and, apparently, athleticism. Can’t we think of a better term than “idiot savant” though? Jesus, how offensive is that shit? Anyway, this autistic kid scored 20 points in 4 minutes. Makes you wonder if Kobe is autistic. Byron Crawford wrote an interesting piece about Hova being an idiot savant a while ago. It’s pretty funny, and possibly true… except for the Bleek part.

- Knitted Digestive System: I feel like I’ve posted this before, but this knitted digestive system is next level whoa steez.

- I Heart AI: My newest piece on FreeDarko: I ride for AI forever… win or lose.

- If Loving Bob Marley is Wrong, I Don’t Wanna Be Right: Wait… are you telling me the white, pot-smoking hippie kids aren’t engaging Bob Marley authentically?!?! WHAT?! Seriously though, this criticism is fucking stupid. I have no problem with the “real, true Bob Marley lovers” (i.e. the ones who like the early stuff better!) actively trying to preserve Bob Marley’s legacy—or at least redefine it so it encompasses more than just “Legend” and “Exodus”—but I find this type of authenticity grandstanding to be downright ridiculous. I mean, seriously. Is it a surprise that white kids aren’t engaging Bob Marley “authentically”? Let me be frank here: when I was listening to Public Enemy in my early teenage years, unfortunately, it’s not because I empathized with the struggles of the black community or agreed with Chuck D’s politics. I was an apolitical, upper-middle class suburban white kid who didn’t know shit about Malcolm X or Louis Farakhan or, really, much of anything besides college basketball. I liked the fucking music because I liked the fucking music. I think it goes without saying that I was not engaging the music “authentically” and, I think we can safely assume that I’m probably still not engaging hip-hop “authentically” (see my rants about Dipset and Derrida for confirmation). But, dude says “The problem with Bob Marley in white America is one of perspective. Many of Marley's songs are about resistance and violent revolution.” Of course this is the “problem”! This is the great postmodern “problem”: postmodernism has taught us that (a) context is always of the utmost import, but (b) it’s also fleeting and pretty much inaccessible in any “authentic” way. Again, I don’t mind folks trying to redefine Bob Marley’s legacy, attempting to call out these “inauthentic” imposters who are reading the music “incorrectly,” but there is always at least a twinge of condescension in these posts that assumes that it is possible to really engage this music “authentically.” The great question is, where does this leave us? This is a profoundly difficult question to answer and isn’t going to be something that gets answered in a blog entry. But, what I do know is that to frame the argument in the (for all intents and purposes) mythical terms “authentic”/”inauthentic,” you’re setting yourself up for failure. Or, in short, what else is there to say after you’ve said the following: “These folks are engaging this music ‘inauthentically’ but these folks aren’t.” What is there to say after you’ve said “These folks are doomed to miss the point because of their context”? This isn’t just a piece explaining “Hey, there’s more at stake in Bob’s music than you might’ve originally thought.” This is a piece attacking the “inauthenticity” of the folks that like Bob Marley for reasons other than the “authentic” reasons. I thought that type of criticism died when punk ‘zines stopped writing articles about who sold out and who didn’t.

Wayne, can I get you to weigh in on this?

-e

It was not a significant bullet

2006-02-13T09:05:00.000-08:00

Pretty? True. Annoying? Double true.

- The Giant Rabbit Lives!: Last week’s super popular giant rabbit story has gotten more interesting with this fantastic update. There’s more pics too!

- Brokeback Mountain Jokes Spread to Pacific Northwest: So, Gonzaga fans are being asked to stop using their Brokeback mountain chant to suggest that an opposing player is gay. I realize this shit is potentially offensive, but I can’t help but laugh thinking about a whole stadium of folks chanting “Brokeback Mountain.”

- I Don’t Like the Tone of this Article: This is an interesting article about misinterpretation of tone and intent in company emails.

- Killa Cam Luhs The Kids: Ok, I’m as big a Cam fan as you can be without being ~~brokeback~~ homo-erotic about it, but his children’s crusade to make a DVD that confronts sexual predators is as ridiculous of an idea as it is a bad one. Even the casual observer of this ridiculous ploy is sane enough to know that making a DVD about this ish is really not the most effective way to deal with sexual predators. I mean, Cam says he’s gonna confront these predators, getting to the bottom of the situation with enlightening questions like the following: “What the hell are you doing, you damn pervert? What the f--- is wrong with you, coming to meet a 13-year-old boy?' We're gonna talk to them and not let them leave until we find out what's wrong with them.” Excellent idea, Cam. All these guys need is a good “talking to” (i.e. ass-whooping) and that’ll totally change everything. In fact, just asking these fellas “what the f--- is wrong with you” is likely to make them see the light. Seriously, even for the most intentionally ridiculous rapper ever (unlike the most unintentionally ridiculous rapper ever: KRS One), this is just absurdly ridiculous.

- Gladwell: I’m a certified Malcolm Gladwell hater, but I haven’t really read enough of him to hate as hard as I do. I only hate on dude because I think “The Tipping Point” is overrated and it’s easy to hate on things that people jock the shit out of. Back in 1997, he did write an interesting article about race and sports.

-e

Intensity... in ten cities!

2006-02-09T06:52:00.000-08:00

Perfect album

- Minnie Ripperton “Come to My Garden”: Thanks to my dude J****y at Good Records in the LES in NYC (3rd Street between Avenue A and B… GO!), I am now the proud owner of Minnie Ripperton’s quietly slept on classic album “Come to My Garden” which was produced and written by one Mr. Charles Stepney with Ramsey Lewis’s rhythm section (think this). The album is great. “Les Fleur” kills me. Also, for the sample-spotter nerds, the Beatminerz performed one of the best filter jobs ever (no brokeback) with a sample for this album for the beautifully produced track "Hellucination." The Beatminerz used to be great.

- Hedonis: This jawn can rap her ass off. I’m trying to do some beats for her. We’ll see what’s up.

- Lil’ Wayne and Gang Gang Dance: I threw up a remix I did of Go DJ with a Gang Gang Dance sample on my myspace page. Don’t call it a “mash-up” or I’ma smack ya. I just sampled a Gang Gang Dance song. End of story.

- Unnecessary Censorship: I don’t watch the Jimmy Kimmel show, but this censorship clip is absolutely genius.

- JJ Redick: Great article about Duke’s hated child prodigy JJ Redick. I didn’t hate him in the first place, but this article made me like him a bit more. The KKK vs Duke line is priceless, but I think there is a lot of truth to what’s being said in this article. Now, that being said, I am not entirely convinced that Redick is going to be a good NBA player, but I do think he’s the real deal as far as college is concerned. The boy can shoot and he’s really stepped-up every aspect of his game, especially his medium range jumper and his willingness to penetrate. I’m a strong believer that good things will happen when your go-to-guy penetrates. If you can’t get to the rim yourself, the defense will collapse and you’ve got a lil’ dump off to a big man for a dunk or a kick out back out to the perimeter for an open shot or to reset the offense. I want to coach 8th grade ~~girls~~ basketball.

- AYO!: My dude D*n*el pointed this out to me, but peep the O-Dub interview. Not because it’s particularly interesting but because the interviewer says this:

When I was hired recently as music editor for this newspaper, one of my first orders of business was to find a hip-hop columnist. Fortunately, I got Wang, my first choice.

Oh word? Your first choice was “Wang.” HAH! Dude, you forgot to say “no Brokeback.”

- Cartwright and Marion and Dudes: ForeverBurns (who’s only interest listed in blogger is “leather”) over at FreeDarko posted a great piece about abnormal jumpshots. In fact, the piece is too good. It’s single-handedly frightened me out of contributing to FreeDarko for another 3 or 4 weeks. It’s become clear that I’m out of my league. (In all honesty, I’m going to post some thoughts very soon about Kobe’s 81 and how it has or hasn’t changed the entire landscape of the NBA).

- Mo’ Animals Less Problems: Dude, scientists found hundreds of new plant and animal species in New Guinea! I bet some of these lil’ muhfuckas taste good as hell!

- Office Depot vs H&M: Office Depot has a website you can order stuff from. H&M has a website that you can’t order stuff from. That’s a frustrating fact of life. To quote somebody from the new and improved hollerboard in my recent post about Quizno’s and jean shopping:

i wish h&m would blaze boldly into 1999 and get a fucking webstore so i could cop shit

Messageboards are beautiful because everyone is a poet… whether they know it or not.

-e

Allow me to reintroduce myself...

2006-02-07T06:20:00.000-08:00

“My name is Robert. I am a tortured soul.”

- Allow Me to Introduce His Self: My dude Robert from somanyshrimp is finna join me over here at the Schizophrenic Tenant to dual blog with your boy. Why? Well, because I could use the help and because he’s way smarter than me and more handsome and certainly a heck of a lot funnier. We’ve both been pretty lazy about writing over on the shrimp, mostly because we don’t have too much to say about rap music right now (except that I like a lot of it… most of it being Weezy), but it’ll be nice to have his voice around. Seriously, dude is really smart and just an all around good dude. He will make this place better. Funny thing is, you guys know before he does that he’s posting here! HAH! He will be writing in this weird green colored font to differentiate between me and Robert.

- New Fader: The new Fader is out and it’s got a great article about the Clipse and one about spankrock. Cop that ish. It just struck me that it is highly likely that an academic I admire greatly will most likely be bumping this spankrock album very soon (given the type of music he has revealed he listens to on his blog), and that is extremely weird to think this academic that I think is the shit will be listening to music made by an acquaintance of mine. Small world.

- Spermamax: Nuff said.

- For the Duke Haters: I can’t front, I’ve always liked Duke basketball… that is, until recently. I mean, you can’t blame me. I started liking them way back in like 3rd grade. The reason? They were good. Everyone likes good teams when they’re young. Deal with it. I’ve grown to dislike Duke over the years, but I must say that most of the blame for my disdain for this year’s team rests on one player. No, not JJ Redick, but Melchioni. I don’t even know how to spell his name or what his first name is, but I fucking hate the guy… and it’s not because his last name rhymes with my ex’s name. First of all, like all college players I hate, I think I’m better than him. This is a pre-requisite for me to hate a player. I used to despise Kirk Heinrich because I swore I was better than him. Turns out I was completely wrong and I love the guy now, but Melchioni? I’m telling you, I could take him. All the guy does is shoot 3’s which really isn’t all that impressive. He’s got a terrible haircut and a really boisterous attitude to go with it. There’s nothing I hate more than a marginal player who thinks the 3 he just knocked down that put them up 15 instead of 12 is the most important play of the game. Um… this post had a point… Oh yeah, here’s some fairly scientific proof that Duke gets more calls than other teams. By “fairly scientific,” I mean “not at all,” but the logic seems pretty sound to me.

- Center City Restaurant Week: It’s coming and I’m hungry as hell. I think I'm finna eat at Susanna Foo's. Ayo, N*tas**a, think you can make that happen? Holler at me.

- Fat Rabbit: This rabbit is freaking huge.

- Fair Use: A bunch of copyright facts and myths about “Fair Use” and a “poor man’s copyright” etc, etc. Interesting stuff for the intellectual property dorks (me). Wayne presents us with several interesting discussions involving intellectual property as well as the role of the ethnomusicologist over on his wonderful blog.

-e

There is fortune in misfortune

2006-02-06T06:34:00.000-08:00

“I vow to kill these officials”

- Super Bowl: Ok, first things first: I haven’t read any comments and/or news stories about this game. I went to sleep right after the stupid thing. I haven’t heard anybody talk about it on Sportscenter or any sports talk shows or anything. These are just my thoughts on the game independent of what the Seahawks themselves had to say about this game and what sports folk are saying about that. Secondly, I’m a Seahawks fan. I was born in Seattle and Seattle is the first place my dad migrated to in the US from Lebanon. Thus, I was raised a Seattle fan. I’m a transplanted Philadelphia fan so, if it came down to a Eagles-Seahawks NFC Championship game, I’m rooting for the Seahawks. Likewise, I’m a diehard Sixers guy, but if there were a Sixers-Sonics championship series, I’d be rooting for the Sonics. Luckily, the likelihood of a Sixer-Sonics NBA Finals happening in the next 40 years or so is pretty unlikely so I probably won’t ever have to encounter that situation, but suffice it to say that I’m a Seattle guy when it comes to sports.

So, my sore-loser thoughts on the game? The fucking officials ruined this one for us. Except for a few big plays, Seattle completely outplayed the Steelers and deserved to win that one. There were three huge blown calls that made it nearly impossible for the Seahawks to win. The first was the offensive pass-interference on Daryl Jackson. He extended his arm slightly, but this is football for God’s sake, that shit happens. Anyway, I’ll let that one slide because it did happen right in front of the ref and watching that thing in real speed, I can’t blame the ref for thinking that that push off gave Jackson an unfair advantage.

But what about that Roethlisberger rush for a TD? I don’t have any beef with them not over-turning the call on the review. I don’t think there was enough evidence for them to over-turn it. But, why didn’t the line judge signal that that shit was a touch down immediately? He ran a few steps forward looking like he was going to spot the ball short of the goal line, but then he seemed to see Big Ben past the goal line and called it a TD. Hey line judge, it doesn’t matter where Ben is when you get there, what matters is if he got the ball past the goal line before he was fucking down. There is nothing that running 10 feet forward should’ve revealed to you. You either saw him pass the goal line or you didn’t. That was a wack call. Again, I’m not mad that they didn’t over turn it, but I dunno what the hell that line judge’s thought process was.

The killer was the phantom holding call on that 20 yard pass to Jeremy Stevens (who dropped a TON of big passes). Instead of the Seahawks having a first and goal from the one down 4 points, they have a 3rd and 20 something that leads to an awful Hasselback interception (which he knew was awful as soon as he let go… on the replay you can see him jumping up and down as soon as he released the ball wishing he didn’t throw it) which in turn lead to the gadget play touchdown for Hines Ward. There was no fucking holding on that play. That was a 14 point swing. The Seahawks could’ve been up three, but instead found themselves down 11. That was a fucking DAGGER.

Fuck those officials.

Of course, the Seahawks had plenty of opportunities to make big plays, but the officials made that shit too difficult to overcome. It’s just infuriating that referees can be so important to a game’s outcome.

All that being said, I’m happy the Bus and Cower got rings and I’m also happy Hines Ward got a ring. Hines Ward is the dude. He’s undersized and not all that fast but is always making HUGE plays. Dunno how he does it. I’m pissed though. That was some BS.

I just read some shit on ESPN. Michael Smith echoes my thoughts. Blah. Frustrating.

- Bling Bling: Hotels made of ice? That's that next shit.

- Brokeback to the Future: Brokeback to the Future is amazing.

- RIP Betty Friedan: Rest in peace, the mother of feminism who is more controversial than she is 100% hero. My buddy Robert had some interesting thoughts that I’m finna jack and post here. He says:

I wonder how feminists at large will react to the death of Betty Freidan.
I mean, they're already pretty schizophrenic about her legacy. She's afforded "mother of the modern movement" props on one hand while, on the other, her legacy of parochialism has been pretty thoroughly maligned since she lost control of NOW and left it in a fit of homophobia. In her own time, the woman was a dinosaur. Since then, she's been worse. bell hooks, among others, basically called her a racist. Still, in everyday life, her side basically won. The prevailing image of a feminist outside of the academy is basically one of the Freidan mold: white, middle class, straight-laced, careerist, recalcitrantly liberal (if slightly more queer than Freidan might have liked). Feminists might utilize the opportunity of her death to drag her name in the mud for a bit and disavow that they were ever really all that into The Feminist Mystique.

- James Lipton reciting PopaZoa: You know, I’m not terribly into the new K-Fed single, but I do think this is in bad taste. I usually ride for Conan, but this shit is wack.

- Herzog: Not only is Herzog good at saving actor’s lives, he’s also not terribly afraid of bullets. Dude is the realest ever.

- The “N” Word: There’s a new documentary (executive produced by Nelson George) about the “N” word that promises to be quiet interesting. Anybody seen it?

- Black History Month: The bol M-1 from Dead Prez sounding off about Black History Month. Kind’ve a catch-22 though, isn’t it, M? I respect the notion that some real-live policies need to be put in place, not just some “Oh, let’s respect Black folks’ history for 28 days,” but (a) I’ve never been very convinced that reparations are going to help very much or (b) that Black History Month itself is all that exploitive and damaging.

- Freeway Rumors: Rumor has it that Freeway is leaving DefJam for G-Unit? Another rumor (heard on Philly radio) is that Freeway is staying on DefJam but 50 is finna executive produce his album with Jay-Z. Whatever the case, I’m not mad at it. Getting 50 involved means good beats.

-e

I get higher than a tennis skirt

2006-02-03T06:50:00.000-08:00

- White T’s and White Belts Tonight: You know the deal by now. If not, peep the fliers above.

- Serengeti “Race Trader” Album: I did a couple beats (MP3s: 1, 2) for my homeboy Serengeti’s free, downloadable “Race Trader” album. Shit is hot. Download them shits!

- Groundhog Day: I really don’t give a crud about Groundhog Day but this whole thing is kinda interesting if you’re into it.

- Rad: Rad is the best movie ever. For all you ADD freaks (i.e. these dudes) now you can watch a cute little 5 minute summary of the jawny jawn. So real. The soundtrack is amazing, too. Bunny-hopping a bike frame is still pretty trill as far as I’m concerned.

- Herzog is the boy: One of my favorite German directors saved Joaquin Phoenix’s life! It’s probably not all that dramatic, but he helped him from his car. That’s so real. See “Aguirre, the Wrath of God” if you haven’t.

- Black. White: Ice Cube’s new reality show could be kind’ve important. Seriously.

- Lemon Red: Chris Lemon Red is the dudest of dudes. The Rub folks swing by for 3 monthly mixes and he’s got a new Santana song up. A!

-e

Never filled out an application, got plenty work.

2006-01-31T06:40:00.000-08:00

“You broke it, you pay for it. You owe us $35 million.”

- Bad Break: Talk about catching a “bad break.” ZIIIIIIIIIING! What a horrid pun. Anyway, I’m glad this wasn’t my bad. It’s like something out of Punk’d, huh?

- Saul Williams: Man, if Saul Williams would actually make rap music, I’d probably be really into it. That “Twice the First Time” shit is amazing. He’s got a new book though for those that are interested.

- Don’t Draw Muhammad: Call me stupid and/or ethnocentric, but I didn’t even realize it Islam banned the depiction of the prophet or Allah himself. Frankly, I think it’s a pretty cool rule: it seems to capture the notion that “representation” in art is always and necessarily a form of violence done against the referrant—in other words, art can never truly capture and/or accurately “represent” what it is attempting to refer to. I think it’s kind’ve a beautiful sentiment and a rather interesting way to show respect. But, regardless, this whole Danish newspaper cartoon thing is pretty nuts. It brings up a lot of fairly serious issues about freedom of speech/expression as well as folks’ rights and/or duty to respect other folks beliefs and values, regardless of how strange they may see. One thing’s for sure though: in today’s volatile religious climate, it certainly wasn’t smart for those idiots to do some shit that was almost definitely gonna incite a certain ire amongst Muslims. I don’t want to argue that dude didn’t have the right to draw the cartoon, but (a) it certainly wasn’t very smart and (b) it really wasn’t that funny and/or insightful. Perhaps if the cartoon really had some sort’ve important point I’d be more willing to stick up for it, but it was a picture of Muhammad with a bomb under his turban. That’s a cheap laugh, not important socioreligious commentary.

-e

I been had strength, now I just got the muscle...

2006-01-30T09:06:00.000-08:00

Ron-Ron’s Favorite Album?

- Ron Artest vs Souls of Mischief: This is why Ron-Ron is so beloved:

He celebrated his fresh start by christening a new jersey number. After wearing Nos. 15, 23, 91 and 15 again in his stops in Chicago and Indiana, he went for 93. The inspiration for it came from a hip-hop album by the group Souls of Mischief called "93 'Til Infinity." For Artest, the number symbolizes an unlimited future and a release from emotional burdens.

Reminds me of this. Amazing. God speed, Ron-Ron. God speed.

- GQ’s 10 Most Hated Athletes: Y’all see GQ’s 10 Most Hated Athletes yet? Shit is funny. Kobe is on there (duh) and, not surprisingly, TO takes #1. Some of the others are interesting, too. The best part though is from the “5 Who Just Missed the Cut” segment about Rasheed Wallace. Peep the blurb:

In Portland, Rasheed, the Blazers’ best player, pissed off teammates by getting kicked out of games so often. Along with Bonzi Wells, he would at times engage in less-than-professional behavior as well, making headlines on one occasion for playfully firing a basketball across a practice court and directly into the nuts of Blazers center Ruben Boumtje Boumtje. “Bonzi and Rasheed ran off the court laughing. They thought that was the funniest thing,” says Jason Quick, of the Portland Oregonian. Freed of Bonzi’s influence, Wallace won a ring in Detroit.

I’ve been laughing hysterically in my cubicle for three minutes now.

- Pimp of the Year Busted: Pimpin’ ain’t easy. Or so I’ve been told.

- Man = God: A Reading, PA man signed his name as “God” on his voter registration form. He claims it’s just his signature. That’s pretty funny.

-e

Even a flea has an opinion

2006-01-27T06:08:00.000-08:00

Cam& Jimmy& Juelz& Writer.

- Don’t Fool with the Dips: Want a Dipset shirt like the one above? I’m selling ‘em for a cool $20. Paypal your boy (emyndandbobliz at gmail dawt com). They’ll be in some online stores soon, but if you wanna beat the rush, holler at me! S, M, L, XL, XXL. GYEAH!

- METRO LOUNGE TONIGHT: Bo and I are holding down the downstairs at the Metro Lounge (at Front and Fairmount… a block over from the 700 club) for that new Philebrity and Paperstreet party "Absolute Beginners" (flier here). Thems upstairs are rocking the Northern Soul, Mod, 45s, and random rock jams while Bo and I are finna hold it down on the ground floor with ‘nough Stevie Wonder, MJ, Prince, bmore, 80’s, hip-hop and reggae classics, and all that other party shit. Tonight’s gonna be fun.

- Dave Chappelle’s Block Party: Just the other day, I was wondering what happened to this project. Looks dope! Can’t wait! I just realized that the best thing Chappelle could’ve done to get people to see this movie was withhold a season of Chappelle’s Show from them. Hmmmmmmmm….Makes ya think, doesn’t it? Anyway, Gondry and Kuras on the boards is always a good thing. This shit should be hot.

- Album Covers in Paint: I love this stuff. Some are better (1, 2, 3)than others.

- Yesterday is only a day away: Apparently, two days ago was the worst day of the year. If you’re like me and you didn’t even notice, that’s a good thing! The rest of the year should be pretty good if two days ago was the worst it’s gonna get. GYEAH!

- For Those Disappointed in Ingesting Alcohol the Old-Fashioned Way: The AWOL Machine, “a fun, new, legal way to take alcohol”… as opposed to what? The boring, old, illegal way called “drinking” it? You really can’t take anyone seriously if they refer to drinking as “taking alcohol.” I suppose this isn’t really “drinking,” but still.

- JR Rider: The troubles continue for Mr. Isiah Rider. Boy could dunk, couldn’t he? He was one of the many touted as “the next Jordan” coming out of college. Frankly, the only reason this dude is relevant to me at all is because JR Writer named himself after him… which is hilarious in and of itself: naming yourself after a mildly entertaining but certainly not great basketball player who could really only do one thing: dunk.

- Warning: This is a warning to girls I might’ve known in the distant past: I’ve been googling and myspace-searching for girls that I had crushes on in 6th grade and throughout highschool. If you don’t want me to find you, change your name! Frankly, I’m surprised how many of these girls aren’t on myspace. I thought everyone was on that shit. They must not be very hip. Just out of ~~self affirmation~~ curiosity, do we all do this “search crushes from the past” or is it just me? I’m ~~hoping~~ thinking we all do it.

-e

Dissent

2006-01-25T08:27:00.000-08:00

- Worth an Update: This is most definitely worth a mid-day update. So real. My homegirl Nat**hia is probably pretty proud of this display of civil disobedience.

-e

You can look at it, as long as you don't grab it.

2006-01-25T06:10:00.000-08:00

- Already Falling Off: I picked a bad week for my glorious comeback. I’m swamped at work. I’ll give a you a few things to chew on while I get my grind on. I WILL NOT FAIL. I WILL NOT FALL OFF MY SECOND DAY BACK. I WILL PREVAIL! RIDE WITH ME!

- TWNW: Bo's DJing at Medusa's Lounge at 21st and Chestnut for that Wednesday Night Weekly jawnathin. Schitt'll be fun. $3 well drinks, $3 Jaeger shots, and I think they've got $3 lagers, too. Whatever the case, cheap drinks, good DJing, and some extremely cute ex-drum-n-bass girls in the building. Can't be mad at that.

- Esquire: This is old news now, but last month (December) Esquire named Bansky their artist of the year (pdf here). I can’t say I keep up with the contemporary visual arts world to say anything particularly interesting about this nomination, but I do know that pretty much everything I’ve seen done by Bansky this year has been phenomenal. It’s all been very technically sound, politically interesting, and always provocative. Whether you agree with the sentiments he is expressing or not, I don’t think you can ask much more from an artist. Congrats, dude.

- Kobe’s 81: Here’s Bill Simmons on Kobe’s 81 and Scoop Jackson on it as well. I don’t really agree with either piece. Peep Free Darko in a few days for extrapolation.

- Cassidy: Absolutely guaranteed Cassidy is gonna sell more albums now that he’s got that previously lacking street cred. Sure “involuntary manslaughter” is no “murder,” but still, it’s probably enough to convince a few terds that he’s “real” (even though he’s totally not). I think I’m overstating the hate Philly has for Cassidy because I’m pretty sure a lot of terds like his dumb-ass (though God only knows why) and there’s certainly a hell of a lot of little dude rapper kids that sound just like him, but I’ve gotta say that the only kind words I’ve heard spoken about Cassidy from a resident Philadelphian come from a gay Puerto Rican kid from North Philly that went to highschool with him who expressed that he would like to “hit that” (or whatever slang it may have been).

- RIP Chris Penn: Random as shit. R.I.P..

-e

Back to the grill again... the grill again.

2006-01-24T06:52:00.000-08:00

- Been A Long Time: So, yeah, it’s been quite some time since I updated here. I’m finna get back on the grind. Real life often gets in the way of this whole writing-on-the-internet thing and when real life bogs me down, I don’t feel particularly inspired to talk about much of anything on my blog… so, I don’t. But, I’m back for now and I’m going to make a legitimate effort to update every day. Bear with me if I miss a day or two.

- First of all: Thank god Bill Simmons bet against the Seahawks! My dudes might actually take it this year! Who would’ve thunk it?

- Huh: Do we have any idea why the hell Sundance takes place in Utah? I mean, I know the name of the resort area is “Sundance,” but why the hell are they having a film festival there? France I can understand, but Utah? Anyway, I wish my job was this cool.

- Luke vs 50 Cent: Recently, a story was published stating that Luke was suing 50 Cent for copyright infringement for apparently biting some 2 Live Crew song when he did his little “Go shorty, it’s your birthday” spiel at the beginning of “In Da Club.” Ridiculous, right? Well, thankfully Luke has distanced himself from the law suit saying that “Let the record reflect that Joe Weinberger and [Weinberger's attorney] Richard Wolfe are the individuals who are suing 50….They are not suing on behalf of me or any member of the 2 Live Crew.” Say what you will about 2 Live Crew’s music, but Luke did a great deal for freedom of speech as well as for black music and I was quite disappointed to hear that dude was suing 50 for something so ridiculous.

- Euroguide for Beginners: Believe it or not, I also write for the best NBA blog out there, Free Darko and they’ve recently posted their unfuckwittable “Euroguide for Beginners” equipped with a bevy of incredible sketches to accompany the anecdotes and useful information (i.e. “Do they have black people?”). Shit is priceless.

- Promoters: Most promoters (and club owners) make no real effort to disprove the stereotypical coke-head/misogynistic/racist/money-grubbin’ jack-ass image that we’ve all grown to love over the years, but the dude Jeremy at Winged Lion Productions seems like quite the good dude (and he’s dudes with my dudes simple fly and nothing fancy) doing good thangs for the community.

- Truth: Some interesting commentary about the Cam and Jay-Z ish that’s about to bubble. I don’t agree with all of it, but I do agree with this: We should have a day set up every year where we can all breathe out and remind ourselves how badly "Takeover" stomped out "Ether.” I say this often and it’ll probably start up another comments section war, but I really can’t believe that there are people that think “Ether” is any good, let alone better than what is possibly the best diss song ever.

- Embarassing Heart Ache: This dude has a cardiac arrest at a cardiology ball. That’s the kind of ish that is only funny because it’s real. If it were penned in a fictionalized novel or movie, it’d be pretty damn stupid, but this guy REALLY had a heart attack and we all know that real heart attacks are hilarious.

-e

Take your bitch from the club, make her ass a mule...

2005-12-27T05:57:00.000-08:00

click for track listing
Doin’ it so big, my blog is all disfigured

- A lot of stuff: Holy moly, there’s a whole lotta ish going on in my world right now.
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Electro Cute

Our website

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White T’s and White Belts CD Release Party for the CD

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The Takeout

Child’s Play Halloween Party

free food until midnight

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* I’m finna be in Ft. Lauderdale next week! I’ma be in town for a conference and while I was tentatively scheduled to go to the Orange Bowl, that ish isn’t happening anymore (unfortunately). Do I know anybody down there? I really don’t know. Holler at me if you’re in the area and let’s catch up. Take me to a record store and/or a strip club and let’s whip over to Dade County and holler at Trina.
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- Chappelle Theory: Things that make you go hmmmm.

- Chronicles of Narnia Rappin’: This hilariousness has already made its internet rounds, but if you missed it somehow, you absolutely need to peep it. It’s crazy delicious.

-e

I put that on e'erythang...

2005-12-16T07:31:00.000-08:00

- Rudolph Murked: Peep this display of Rudolph hanging dead from a tree. Christmas decorating at its finest.

- Mike Tyson: Another sad Mike Tyson story crops up. Mike Tyson is the American Dream gone wrong and I’ve got nothing but love, pity, and well-wishes for the dude. Seriously. I’ve probably ranted about this dude on my blog before, but he’s been unfairly exploited since birth and been betrayed repeatedly by people he trusted too easily. Of course, he made some absolutely horrible financial decisions (um, a White Tiger as a pet?) that prepped him for a life of debt, but seeing as that the average American spends about 101% of their income, I don’t know if we can really safely criticize rags-to-riches folks for being financially irresponsible. Anyway, I just feel really sorry for the dude. He got a bum deal.

- Transvestites Bafrooms: I don’t really know what to make of the TV Toilets in Brazil. I do know that my blog is gonna start showing up on some weird sexual google searches. I forecast a “Transvestite toilet sex” search in the next week.

- Perform on That Ass Just like an Assembley: To all my Group Home fans, peep Malachi the Nutcrackers best lyrics. Amazing stuff like “Yo, it's a wonderful world, a world of wonder/I thunder and thunder I won't go under!” and “Nutcracker doin hits by the dozen/When I make moves, I ride the train with my cousin!/ Nowhere near simple/ My mental, flex more complex than Mozart's instrumental!” and “Walk through the valley of death with no fear/I'm knockin' suckas like a runaway deer!” Holy ish this dude is hilarious.

- The Stencil: The stencil shouted me out the other day on their wonderful site. I love them… very much (somewhat homo). Jonesy has an absolutely amazing reminiscent post about the Nautica Van up. ’96 hip-hop fans, stand-up!

- Electro Cute: Did you peep the sidebar? Emynd and Bo Bliz “Electro Cute” Mixtape coming sooner than you think!

-e

RIP Tookie Williams

2005-12-13T06:24:00.000-08:00

A moment of silence is in order for Crips founder Stanley “Tookie” Williams who was executed this morning in California. The case is slightly complicated in that he was found guilty and yet refused to apologize or show remorse, insisting on his innocence in the face of (supposedly) overwhelming evidence illustrating his guilt. Whatever the case, the man has certainly come as close to “rehabilitation” as we’re likely to see in any particular murder case—having devoted his life to anti-gang messages and being nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize several times—but, of course, our justice system doesn’t care about that. As much lip-service as our justice system pays to the notions of “rehabilitation” and “prevention,” this murder of an alleged murderer proves quite lucidly that our “justice system” is only about vengeance and nothing more.

Some facts about the case for those interested.

R.I.P. Tookie Williams.

EDIT: Unfortunately, I forgot this in the original post:

R.I.P. to the victims as well: Albert Owens, Thsai Shai Yang, Yen I Yang, and Yee Chen Lin.

-e

Animals, orangutangs....

2005-12-12T06:28:00.000-08:00

- Animals Committ Suicide, too: I find something supremely disturbing about these 5 deer who lept to their death. The most disturbing thing about it is the last line: “The carcasses were given to passers-by for butchering.” Something about eating the meat of suicidal wild life strikes me as odd.

- Best Commercial Ever: You ever see that extremely weird Nutrigrain Ad? If you don’t immediately know what I’m talking about, go watch that ish. It’s the best ad ever.

- Comprehensive Riddem Sampler: This is a pretty comprehensive riddem directory of reggae ish, from newschool ish to classic stuff. Dude shows love to some weird riddems and hates on some pretty solid ones, but regardless, it’s a solid directory.

- Sambucks vs StarBucks: The eff? Why the eff is Starbucks acting like this is really gonna affect business? Corn.

- Don’t Run in the Boxing Ring: This dude tries running away from his opponent, jumps on the ropes, and gets walloped. So real.

- Ron Artest: In the immortal words of Lorenz Tate in “Menace II Society, Mr. Ron Artest, “You actin’ like a real bitch right now.” Relying on this “I think Indiana will be a better team without me” BS is so effin’ corny, especially after the love and support the city of Indy showed Artest after last year’s debacle. They need to trade that corn-ball with the quickness. I used to ride for the boy, but this ish is so effin’ corny.

- The Constitution is Just a God Damn Piece of Paper: According to some cornball, our commander in chief called the Constitution “just a god damn piece of paper.” This is from a totally not-so-credible source and makes the Left look like a bunch of whining weenies. Blah. The Left is wack.

- Cops Suck: Proof. I’m all for cop-on-cop violence though.

-e

If we too simple, y'all don't get the basics...

2005-12-06T06:42:00.000-08:00

- FreeDarko: Free Darko is an army… and I am officially a part of the Shenanigans. If you’re not in a reading mood, just peep the Shawn Kemp highlights.

- Smut for Smut: Man. This is so awesome: “Atheist Agenda, an atheist group at U Texas San Antonio, staged a ‘Porno for Bibles’ event, where they gave free pornography to people who traded in religious scripture.” It don’t get much funnier than that. Here’s a news story about it.

- Rasputin’s Thang: Apparently, a Russian museum is gonna exhibit Rasputin’s Penis (not this guy). Interesting.

- Next Level: Peep game: next level disc technology that’s finna make CDs and DVDs obsolete. Holograms is what the new millennium is all about it ‘bout it.

- Another Disco D Production: Disco D has been killing it recently. T-Pain’s “ I’m Sprung” remix or in the studio with Spank Rock. The Spank Rock ish is crazy.

- Bill Simmons: Sometimes Bill Simmons is just untouchable. I think his greatness really comes out in his mail bag section where he keeps his response short and funny. For example, when asked what it would sound like to hear the crew of ESPN’s “Sunday Night Football” give a eulogy, Simmons is right on the money, especially with the Al Maguire quotes. Hilarious.

Mike Patrick

Joe Theismann

Paul Maguire

Patrick

Theismann

Maguire

Theismann

Patrick

Apparently there’s a lot of hate for these guys out there in the blogosphere. Check here, here, and here. And don’t forget about the drinking game which includes drinking every time Paul Maguire says “I'm gonna tell ya something” or Joe Theismann (the man who once said “Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein ”) says “What impresses me most about [insert name of player here].”

-e

How it shoot if it's plastic?

2005-11-29T07:23:00.000-08:00

- Stupid Question: I have a stupid question that might reveal to you all how thoroughly stupid I am: Why is Saddam Hussein on trial? What is he on trial for? Don’t we have to sort’ve conclude that someone’s “guilty” of something really bad before we go to war with them? I don’t understand what the hell this trial is about. We were trying to kill the dude for several months before we found him. Now we’re going to pretend that never happened and trot along with the “innocent ‘til proven guilty” shenanigans? I’ve got to be missing something. Somebody explain this to me.

- 50 Cent’s Condom: 50 is coming out with a condom. Impressive.

- Free Darko: I am now officially an active, posting member of Free Darko--the best website ever. What this means for the future of Free Darko? Not much, in the grand scheme of things. But, it’ll be fun and challenging and I’m sure I’ll be made to look like an idiot even more than I already get made to look like an idiot on my own blog. Anyway, it’s a pleasure to be writing with those dudes, and peep how the plan came together. While you’re o’er there, cop a shirt.

- Fighting Terrorism is Awesome!: This seems like a totally awesome way to fight terrorism that doesn’t sound like a waste of time, effort, and/or man-power at all! Awesome!

- Karma: So, the Seahawks won a game they didn’t deserve to win… but, the Giants were close in a game they didn’t deserve to be close in. Peep. It all works out in the end.

- Anti-Trust?: Apparently, all-around good-guy Senator Specter (hah!) thinks that the Eagles might be violating Anti-Trust laws by benching TO. I really don’t understand the logic. I understand that the Eagles should let other teams talk to him if they’re planning on getting rid of him so perhaps that’s where Specter’s beef sits, but other than that, I don’t see how paying the dude to do nothing is a violation of anything (except for the Eagles’ chances to win).

- New iPod: Psh. And you thought the Nano was small. Hell no. Peep the Zepto.

-e

When I fall, I get right back

2005-11-28T06:16:00.000-08:00

- Sorry: Sorry for the hiatus. I’ve been vacationing real hard over the past few days and, prior to that, was dealing with real life. Schitt has been hectic, but we’re (i.e. I’m) back in the building with more useless talk about nothing.

- Jones and the Stencil: My dude Jones from the infamous Caps and Jones has joined his DJ ~~lover~~ partner Caps and homeboy Nash on their wonderful lil’ bloggeroo the stencil. Jones’ first post is pretty pathetic, though. We’ll let it slide this time, but step your game up!

- The Roots: As bad as pitchfork can be, sometimes they get schitt right on the money. For example, here’s a perfect review of the Roots’ career disguised as a review of their greatest hits record. The prose is on the money. The numerical rating is somewhat not.

- Free Darko: Rumor has it that Free Darko is about to undergo some serious changes. Could be good, could be bad. Only time will tell. Update soon.

- I Keep the After Party Swervin’…: …Not quite like Michael Irvin.” I, for one, believe the dude.

- The Birds: The Seahawks won a game that they totally didn’t deserve to win. But, hey, a win’s a win. This clip of Shockey reacting to one of Jay Feeley’s THREE missed field goals is priceless. “Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Oh… yeah… wait… oh… no… no!” The Seahawks might actually get to the Super Bowl this year. Needless to say, they will undoubtedly get crushed by the Colts, but still. Getting there is half the battle.

- Heard Em Say: Kanye’s “Heard ‘em Say” video featuring Bill Plimpton on the pencils. Video coming out around Christmas is by Michael Gondry.

- Go! Team vs Kevin Shields: Kevin Shields from My Bloody Valentine is finna remix some Go! Team tracks. That’s what’s really dude. Apparently RJD2 is getting in on the action too.

-e

By letting her pass, I've proved to be a better man

2005-11-18T07:16:00.000-08:00

- Menace II Sobreity: Tonight at the Blue Horseshoe, your dudes emynd and Bo Bliz along with dudette Lady Jae will be playing that rappity rap and dancehall and shiz until you fall over. It’s cold. Come drink some fluids and stay warm with us. 10 to 2 at 10 South 20th Street (just south of Market). T’will be fun!

- Chess Boxing: Jacked from my homegirl trigger, this chess-boxing schitt (literally, chess AND boxing) is crazy.

- More Borat: Peep Borat’s website. The best part? He did a “.kz” website. That’s hysterical.

- Get that Money!: This dude robbed the same restaurant twice in one day. That’s either stupid or brilliant. It appears he got away so I’m going with the latter.

- Sufjan Stevens Illinois Vinyl: Good news for conspicuous consumers like myself regarding the Sufjan Stevens album “Illinoise”: it’s finally coming out on vinyl! Yay!

-e

Bunny Suicides

2005-11-16T06:29:00.000-08:00

It's a bunny suicides sorta day today. I've posted this before so sorry for the re-hashing.

In other news Trent from "Swingers" performing an exorcism is Nene Hilario (this blog's new way of saying the over-used word "hilarious) or Jesus uttering obscenities. Or the best palindrome ever.

Blah.

-e

Booyakasha!

2005-11-15T06:59:00.000-08:00

“Is good!”

- Kazakhstan vs Borat: Apparently, the people of Kazakhstan find the character Borat to be offensive. Perhaps I’m being insensitive in suggesting what these folks should and should not be offended by, but this is idiotic. My whole thing is, the Borat character is a parody of the stereotypes people have of Eastern Europe. It is not funny because it is an accurate representation of these folks and I don’t think the character even comes close to purporting to be an accurate representation of these folks. I mean, who is suddenly convinced that folks from Kazakhstan are incestuous sheep-herders after watching this show? It’s not promoting these stereotypes, but making fun of the people who are silly enough to believe these stereotypes, right? It’s similar to what Dave Chappelle did with black folks in the “Chapelle Show.” My main point is that if anyone is offended by the Borat character, I think it is because of a blatant mis-reading of what he as a comedic character does. Again, perhaps it’s slightly insensitive of me to suggest that a group’s offense is misguided, but I just don’t think their offense is based on a solid reading of how Borat functions. The Borat character isn't based on reality, but is parodying the American folks that believe the stereotype, right? Borat is only funny if people believe him and react to him—it is these people that are the butt of the joke, not Borat. Am I wrong here?

- Eagles: The Eagles proved last night what most of us suspected last week. Their season is over. Oh well. Seahawks are gonna win the ‘ship anyway.

- Joe Beats: Joe Beats emo-hop CD “Indie Rock Blues” is available today. I’m not exactly sure what that means. I guess it means you can order it online today or something. Anyway, you should. Buy it here.

- Behind the Beat: Stones Throw is releasing a book called Behind the Beat which has pictures of “the creative spaces of [underground] producers and DJ’s from the US and UK.” Although the folks pictured in the book are folks that are largely irrelevant and/or folks I’ve completely lost interest in (The Grouch, Premier, The Automator, etc), it’s still cool to see pictures of records and equipment and stuff. Cop if you’re into that sorta thing.

- Robbing Banks on the Phone: I’ve got nothing but respect for this woman who robs banks while on her cell phone.

-e

What the game been missin'....

2005-11-10T10:56:00.000-08:00

When: November 12, 10 - 2 AM
Where: 1226 South 2nd Street (2nd and Federal)
Who: emynd, Bo Bliz, Dev 79, Needleguise

A couple weeks back, my dude came home to his apartment, only to find it engulfed in flames, along with everything in it: turntables, records, TV, clothes... unfortunately, even his dog.

Please come support the dude(s) and see some really dope DJs rock on some house-party-esque atmosphere reminiscent of the epic Halloween party "Child's Play." We are asking for a $10 donation at the door--all of the proceeds of which will go to my dudes that were left homeless from the fire. Plus, it's free beer until the kegs are kicked (good beer, not some bullschitt-ass miller lite or anything), then it's $1 beers the rest of the night, or BYOB if you're too broke to pay $1 a beer. Please come through. It's a good cause and you're guaranteed to pay less than $15 to get absolutely annihilated (unless you're Bdynamite in which you will magically accidentally spend at least 10 times that, get extremely drunk, and then claim somebody drugged your drink).

We're gonna rock that schitt on some no-holds-barred wile out schitt with myself, Bo Bliz, Dev79, and the "victim" himself, Needleguise. If time permits, my dude from Indianapolis Scott Matelic is gonna bless us with a set as well. He's an effin' great DJ.

Same ol' same ol' 10-2 schitt, but it's at a 2nd street social/mummer's club so you know the cops aren't gonna mess with us if we run until 3 or 4...

Two Street stand up!

I'm super excited about this. It's gonna be hella fun and we're gonna help my dude get back on his feet.

- What the Game’s Been Missing: Juelz’s album is really effin’ good. I was expecting it to stink. Wrong. It’s good. Perhaps great. I’ll get back to you on that in like two weeks, but as for right now, it’s really good.

- Baskey-bally: Despite my claim that the key to the Sixers success was reliant on AI’s assist-to-turnover ratio, the Sixers won when Iverson had 7 assists and 4 turnovers. Oh well. So I’m not a basketball analyst. Let’s take this to the court! I can still dunk on you (figuratively… not literally). Anyway, I still do think that the Sixers will be in good shape if AI’s assist-to-turnover ratio stays around 3:1 but they really need to start playing better D. Beating Dallas without Dirk Nowitki isn’t a great accomplishment, but I’ll take what I can get. As for the Sonics, well, they’re a pitiful 1-3 and it hasn’t been pretty. They got HAMMERED by the Cavs last night. Ugh. Get your game up, terds!

- Skull Snaps: For my beat digger nerds, the group Skull Snaps has been brought back together in order to do a show in NYC. Pretty cool. I don’t really care, but, it’s pretty cool.

- Holy Cheerleader Meta-References Batman: So, we’ve all heard the story by now of the lesbian cheerleaders ~~kissing and tickling and fisting and~~ munching on each other’s private parts in the bathroom, right? Now there’s online story about how the story is a popular online story. I’m more impressed by the confusing meta-referentiality of the stupid piece than I am by the lesbian cheerleaders leading each other’s tongues into their respective crotches.

-e

Pushin' on them keys like a minor chord...

2005-11-08T08:30:00.000-08:00

"I want this guy on my team because he is black and
will therefore give me more points... He's a good kid."

- Berube on Paterno and Race: An old professor of mine Michael Berube had some things to say about Joe Pa and his race-related remarks. The gist of it is this:

“For the life of me I can’t see what in the world is wrong with [Joe Pa’s remarks] about ‘the black athlete.’ For that matter, I don’t see anything wrong with Air Force coach Fisher DeBerry remarking on the fact that a lot of fast football players are black….[To] say that black athletes have ‘changed the whole tempo of the game’ and “have just done a great job as athletes and as people in turning the game around,” as JoePa did, is not merely to say the obvious; it’s to say the obvious in the form of a compliment. It’s a little like saying that professional basketball is a different sport now than when George Mikan dominated the court, and that it’s a good thing too.”

This is basically the argument that both bliz and ellen were making in my comments section below. I posted the following in response to Berube in his comments section:

Was what [Joe-Pa] said really that “innocuous”?

I think it’s pretty important to understand the context within which Paterno said what he said. According to ESPN.com, he was responding to a question about the increase in scoring in the Big Ten this season. Isn’t a bit irresponsible to suggest that scoring in the Big Ten is up because there’s more black kids in the conference?
First of all, is this even true? Are there more black kids in the conference? Or, are there more black kids in the skill positions? I don’t know, but isn’t it just a bit irresponsible to just sort’ve haphazardly link race to scoring in such an essentialist manner, when surely there are several other reasons for why scoring might be up besides race?

I take no real issue in Joe Pa complimenting black athletes for their athleticism, I agree that the Air-Force coach was probably just clumsy with his prose, and I don’t mean to imply that Joe Pa is some closeted-racist or anything, but I just find the context of his statements to be much more important than what he actually said.

Re-reading what I wrote in my initial blog post, I certainly don’t seem to be focusing on the context of the remark as much as I am here or in the comments section that followed my post, so I hope I’ve cleared that up by now. Berube’s response—which I suppose I can take as some sort of validaition—was the following:

emil, hmmm. You have a point there.

- Geek Rap: This schitt is straight-up corny. It’s amazing how stupid “geeks” can be.

- Robot Made From Human Brain Cells: Be afraid. Be very, very afraid.

- Vinsanity: “Vince Carter just took the imaginary ladder.” Dude dunking on ‘Zo like it’s nothin’. Sick.

- Flea Blog: Flea (yes, Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers) has some very freedarko things to say about the dress-code on his NBA.com blog: so, about this dress code… who cares? i don't care if they wear suits and ties, go naked or wear clown suits, i wanna see 'em on the court hoopin it up like the geniuses they are…why should i be worried about david stern's power trip? i love basketball, not fashion… david stern could never rob the league of it's black culture…and i don't care whether a bunch of right wing red staters love the nba or not…allen iverson is already a great role model no matter what her wears
he is a great artist…nobody ever held picasso's personal life up for judgment when it came to his art…they just studied it and appreciated it.” Good stuff. Come to think of it, I guess I shouldn't be surprised that he's not too into the dress-code. Dude wears a sock on his thang.

- Jesus Juice: I’m thirsty… for the Lord!

-e

Sittin' on blades like Christie Yamaguchi

2005-11-07T06:39:00.000-08:00

- Some Crazy Schitte: Click here for craziness: If your eyes follow the movement of the rotating pink dot, you will only see one color, pink. If you stare at the black + in the center, the moving dot turns to green. Now, concentrate on the black + in the center of the picture. After a short period of time, all the pink dots will slowly disappear, and you will only see a green dot rotating if you're lucky! It's amazing how our brain works. There really is no green dot, and the pink ones really don't disappear. This should be proof enough, we don't always see what we think we see.

- This Blog and “Racism”: I’ve noticed lately how irresponsible I’ve gotten with throwing the term “racist” around on this blog. I don’t think my tendency to point out potentially “racist” stuff is “irresponsible” because I’m wrong or anything—I do still feel that everyone I’ve called out on this blog as displaying “racist” behavior was indeed performing “racist” behavior—but several recent comments-section discussions have pointed out to me how fruitless these efforts have been. To be sure, I’m calling out “racist” behavior on this blog as an attempt to point out how “racism” is still quite pervasive in every day life. Unfortunately, it seems like the most common reaction to my posts hasn’t been unanimously positive but has been more along the lines of folks saying “Oh come on! Lighten up!” type remarks, or the age-old, privileged boy complaint of “Can’t we even mention ‘race’ without talking about ‘racism’”? Well, the short answer to that question, as far as I’m concerned, is “no.” If we’re talking about “race,” I think we absolutely need to talk about “racism,” too. And, yes, while I do think it’s “racist” for Joe Pa to say that scoring is up in the Big Ten from last year because there are more black kids playing, I am not saying that Joe Pa is incapable of talking about “race” without being “racist” and, what’s more, I don’t think Joe Pa is himself “a racist.” As Ken importantly pointed out, “People can’t be racist; systems are racist.” And, believe it or not, my incessant tendency to say “That’s racist” on this board was a misguided attempt to make that very same point. When I refer to the racism involved with the NBA dress code or about the age limit or about Joe Pa, I’m not suggesting that the type of “racism” at work here is one of individual hatred of black folks a la the Ku Klux Klan and white supremacists. I’m talking about the systemic white supremacy that is perpetuated, nourished, and promulgated in overt ways like public school zoning policies as well as the more subtle expressions of the racist system that pop-up in instances like Joe Pa’s ridiculous statements or the NBA dress-code. I’m not here to chastise individuals for being “racist.” Instead, I am simply attempting to illustrate how racism still operates on a day-to-day basis in seemingly innocuous ways. I suppose I should apologize that my method has been so ineffective, and I will attempt in the future to be much less chastising and reactionary, and perhaps more inquisitive about this “racism,” how it manifests itself, and what—if anything—can be done about it.

- AI Assist to Turnover Ratio: I firmly believe that the key to the Sixers success this year will be AI’s assist to turnover ratio. If the ratio stays above 3:1, I think the Sixers will do just fine. If it hovers right around the 2:1 mark or below, we’re in trouble. So far this season, the Sixers have been pretty good about turnovers. In their win over the Pacers on Saturday, they only had 11 turnovers and Iverson had 12 assists and only 3 turnovers. In the ugly, ugly game against the Bobcats, the Sixers only had a total of 13 turnovers, but Iverson had 5 assists and 4 turnovers. Likewise, in the opener—a game the Sixers really should’ve one—the team only had 8 total turnovers and AI had 9 dimes and only one turnover himself. Basically, if Iverson is assisting and not turning the ball over, that basically indicates that the rest of the team is playing pretty well, too. Most of AI’s turnovers aren’t directly his fault (usually, it’s a matter of AI sending an unsuspecting pass into the fumbling hands of big men who clunk the ball out of bounds or simply aren’t aware that AI is passing to him) but no matter who’s fault it is, they really hurt the Sixers. So, this humble blog is going to go to great lengths to closely monitor AI’s assist to turnover ratio and if it starts to start looking bad, I’m gonna have to make a few phone calls and try to get the Sixers some more black players so we’ll score more points.

- Ass Man: This might only be funny to people who are at least somewhat familiar with the TV tragedy/victory that is known as Laguna Beach, but holy hell the dude KC has killed it. That schitt had me dying the first time I read it. KC’s old blog (KC a Jew) is dead, but he’s got a new group blog poppin’ off at Kosher Crack. Cute.

- Vincent Gallo’s Sperm: The dude Vincent Gall is pretty crazy. This is cute little publicity stunt. Vincent Gallo gets a little bit too much pleasure out of pretending to be racist though (much like how I get a little bit too much pleasure out of constantly calling people “racist”).

- The Music of Galt MacDermott: Go here to see the trailer for “Ear of the Heart” a documentary that “will be a survey of Galt MacDermot's life and musical career, as well as a performance of many of his songs.”

-e

Makaveli in the ipod

2005-11-04T06:24:00.000-08:00

- Paris Rioting: You might not know this because America is hella insulated, but did you know mothereffers are rioting in Paris on some Rodney King type ish? Schitt’s crazy.

- Kenny Meez and Federation Sound: Kenny Meez is that dude. As my dude Cosmo Baker once said, “Let’s put it this way: when Sean Paul comes to Philly, the first person he calls is Kenny Meez.” Peep the Philly Weekly What’s Up With… Kenny Meez this week. And when his rhythm drops, be sure to cop it. There’s a song with Vybz Kartel and Clipse floating around on Killa Kuts and it’s that murder. I believe it’s called “Double Shots” but I could be wrong. Anyway, cop that and cop that rhythm.

- Mike Tyson vs Bobby Brown: Most of you have probably seen this by now, but here’s Mike Tyson and Bobby Brown singing the Monster Mash. Really, really odd.

- Can I Quit Now: No you can’t quit! People are dying! What a douche. (thank you, the stencil)

- Graffiti and Thumbs: What the hell is this? What’re we regressing back to the middle ages? Cutting off thumbs? Ridiculous.

- Best Bun B Interview Ever: Damn Bun B is killing it in this interview (Part 1 and Part 2). Peep some of the schitt he’s saying about Little Brother from Part 2:

I like Little Brother, man. But I wonder… The Minstrel Show...I wonder who's a part of the minstrel show? I know what they mean, but I think a lot of the people that they think are against them would pull for them. I really like them and I like their music and I know they are not making what everybody down South is making right now, but that don't mean we against you….I wear a lot of jewelry and s**t. I would be considered one of those flossy type n***as. But it's deeper than that. If you know me, you know that. I don't know but I do know that a lot of n***as like those cats’ music. But you have to be careful ‘cause you don't know, you could be turning away people that might be supporting you….I read in the article that they don't make the kind of Rap that people make today because they didn't grow up on that type of Rap. They grew up on NWA and Tribe Called Quest. So did I. Everybody did. I want to say the right thing about them cause I like them. I really want to find them cause I want to talk to them. I want to make sure that I didn't get them misinterpreted and that I didn't get a clue. I want to push for them n***as. They have some of the best music on the shelf, right now. I think they should have gotten a better look.

- Wow, Dem Black Folks Sure Can Do Some O’ That There Runnin’: My dude Joe Pa gets in on some of that good old-fashioned racism: "You have to be careful the way you say things sometimes….Poor [Air Force coach] Fisher DeBerry got in trouble, but the black athlete has made a big difference. They have changed the whole tempo of the game. Black athletes have just done a great job as athletes and as people in turning the game around." What the eff? No one would dispute that black folks have contributed heavily to nearly all of the big 3 sports, but what’s with the “them black folks sure are fast!” exoticization and insinuations?

- TO needs a TO: Ok, TO is definitely ackin’ the fu** up but, my whole thing is: (a) can we really be all that surprised and (b) folks are only gonna do what they can get away with. For those not paying any attention, TO agreed with a statement that Michael Irvin made that said the Eagles would be undefeated this season if Brett Favre was their quarterback instead of McNabb. Whether or not TO agrees with this or not (and I can’t imagine any sane person would agree with this), he should really keep the answer to himself, right? Wrong. TO is different than you and me. He doesn’t look at “sports” the same way you and I look at sports. Dude really isn’t all that concerned with winning because he’s smart enough to see the big picture: sports isn’t about winning; sport is a business just like any other business. And, just like any other smart business man, TO knows what his skills are worth to this team (i.e. basically everything) and so he knows he can pipe off and there’s not a lot the Eagles are gonna do about it. What should the Eagles do? They should just bench his ass. They should simply say “We’ve had enough. We don’t want you. We don’t need you.” To put up with TO is to suggest that his skills outweigh his off-field distractions and antics, and to suggest that is absolutely ridiculous. For all the class and poise and intelligence that the Eagles organization has had over the past few years, they simply can’t afford to allow TO to do this schitt and are absolute idiots to let this schitt continue. It’s true that without TO, the Eagles hopes of winning the ‘chip this year are basically zero, but it’s not like they’re really doing all that well anyway. They need to put their foot down…now. Again, folks are only gonna do what they know they can get away with. A precedent has been set and TO knows he can talk as much schitt as he wants and the Eagles aren’t finna do nathan. The Eagles didn’t give him his money (money that he probably deserved) and now he’s saying “Eff y’all.” I really can’t hate on that. It’s not real sportsmanlike, and it’s certainly not very courteous, but if you don’t define “sport” like you and I define “sport” and you see it for the business that it really is, you can’t hate on him too much. Sure he’s a jackass, but he’s in a position where he knows he can be a jackass and get away with it. The only thing the Eagles can do to save face at this point is to say “We’ve had enough.”

-e

Sally's got a one-track emynd...

2005-11-03T07:19:00.000-08:00

We are Penn State!

- Sixers 0-2: OK, I give up. Sixers suck. Actually, I’m being melodramatic. They got beat by the Pistons last night and it was blatantly obvious that, at this point in the season, the Pistons are just a better team. Perhaps nothing is more depressing than watching a basketball game where you never feel like your team has a legitimate chance to win the thing. And the Pistons knew that. If the Sixers ever cut the lead to something like 8, you didn’t get the feeling that the Pistons were at all bothered or considered it a real threat. It’s like they didn’t even notice. They just came down and knocked down a shot that took out all of the Sixers’ gathering steam. So, yeah, the Sixers simply aren’t where they need to be yet. Igoudala had 8 points and Webber had a very quiet 15 or 16. Igoudala absolutely HAS to step up. We need 15-20 points a game from him. There’s no excuse for Salmons trying to make plays for himself and Igoudala not. I like Salmons’ aggressiveness, but it is vitally more important that Igoudala is a regular contributor than Salmons is. And, Salmons just really isn’t all that good. In better news, so far in two games, Iverson’s got 15 assists and only 3 turnovers. If he can keep that up, good things will happen. However, something that is extremely indicative of the type of player Webber is is that dude didn’t have any fouls before the middle of the third quarter. How can you be a 4 and not have any fouls before the third quarter? I mean, we all know dude is soft, but soft dudes can be aggressive sometimes, too, right? I’ve got a new-found respect for the big-man-that-always-gets-in-foul-trouble because now we’ve got a big man that’s too got damn soft on D to even make an ill-advised swipe at the ball. Get ill-advised! Commit a stupid foul! I beg of you! I’m still pretty confident that the Sixers are going to win the Atlantic this year. Luckily it’s a long season and it’s not so much how you start, but how you finish that’s important. If the Sixers are hovering just below or around 500 by the All Star break, I think they’ll be ok and make a run at it after the break. One thing that needs to be said though: if the Sixers continue on their current winning pace, they’re going to go 0 for 82. That’s scary!

- Sonics 0-1: The Sonics lost to the Clippers last night. What the eff? If the Sonics continue at their current pace, they too will be a whopping 0 for 82! What if both my squads have win-less years?! But, the Clippers stomped the Sonics by 30 in one of the first games of last season, so I’m not worried… yet. Dope sonics blog.

- Why Aren’t You in My Blogroll?: Chris ~~”why aren’t you on my blog-roll”~~ “you are now on my blog roll” Lemon-Red has posted a couple roots dancehall burners on his unfudgewittable blog. Richie Spice’s “Youths Are So Cold” is piercing. The organ and the pre-hook “eeee-eh-eeee” is killing it.

- Certified ‘Hood Schitt: As if there’s not enough division in our nation’s poor communities, it’s rather depressing to read articles like this that articulate the growing resentment between “African Americans” and the “African immigrants” that they are coming in contact with in their ‘hoods.

- Electrocuted Squirrel Starts Grass Fire: WTF? Aint this some schitt?

- USC Halloween Prank: Hah. This is funny. Everything’s funny when you’re winning I guess.

- Hottest Shoes Ever: In all honesty, This probably isn’t a terrible investment. Some of these kicks are incredibly hot, too. I need these (what the hell are they?) and these. Now! **EDIT: Nevermind, these shoes break down to about $370 a pair. That's really not that great of a deal. EDIT**

-e

Pugilistic Linguistics

2005-11-02T07:54:00.000-08:00

- Indy Rock Boom Bap: True-school apologist and beat-smith extraordinaire Joe Beats of non-prophets fame is finally releasing his anticipated Indy Rock Blues boot-leg album with trumped-up versions of a bunch of indy rock songs Joe was listening to when some dumb ho broke his heart. Joe is a ferociously talented dude with a sampler and this album should be good fun for all you emo dorks who wish their indy rock had louder drums. Case and point: peep this version of “Coxcomb Red”. The cover art is quite beautiful and is done by William Schaff. You will be able to order this jawn online only, straight from Joe’s website on November 8 (pre-orders) and I highly suggest you do so.

- Sixers 0-1: I absolutely love Allen Iverson. But, that being said, he is the worst player in the league at protecting a small lead going into the final minute of a game. The reason? Because it forces him to over-think basketball. Iverson doesn’t think the game, he just does the game. When he’s forced to deliberately calculate what he needs to do—something that is somewhat inevitable when you’re trying to simultaneously use up as much time on the clock as possible and score—he winds up almost always waiting too long and putting up a bad shot. In those situations, he loses the natural advantage he has as a wrecklessly creative, quick, and unstoppably clever player. He’s not the type of player that “let’s the game come to him,” especially in the waning minutes of a ball game, nor is he the type of player that can just walk down the court and impose his will in a half-court offense. If the Sixers are down two or three points in the final minute, they probably win that game. Why? Because Iverson is on the attack. He’s slicing and chopping up the defense and creating plays. He’s as close to unstoppable as it gets when he’s on the attack. But, when he’s resting on his laurels, trying “not to lose,” focusing more on using up the clock than attacking, he makes bad decisions, puts up bad shots, or passes the ball to an unsuspecting player in a position where he isn’t capable of doing anything. You can’t really blame him, I guess. It’s just not the type of basketball he plays. But, he’s got to get better at that if the Sixers want to win. But, put aside the final minute and overtime and I’m not mad at all about that performance. Iverson and Webber both scored over 30 and they had under 10 turnovers for the game. Can’t be mad at that. We’ll see how it goes, but if AI and Webber continue to play well together, this team will be pretty damn good.

- Scoop Jackson is trill: Scoop Jackson wrote a great article attacking the Zen master’s recent racist comments. And, not for nothin’, I fux with his CD player, too:

Last I looked, Lord Finesse's ‘The Awakening,’ Scarface's ‘The Fix,’ TI's ‘Urban Legend,’ Lil' Kim's ‘Naked Truth,’ Ghostface Killah's ‘Supreme Clientele,’ and Eric B. and Rakim's ‘Let the Rhythm Hit 'Em,’ were the six CDs in the chamber

Additionally, this is on-point:

Or maybe in your next comment about 'us'…you'll remember to mention that most of the ‘thuggery’ clothes we buy (especially those worn by NBA players) come from Neiman's, Macy's and Saks, where entire floors are devoted to our fashion and designers….Clothing not cool for your players to rock, but OK for Fortune 500 stores to sell?

Scoop Jackson really gets in dude’s ass. It’s hot.

- Shabba Ranks Parody: “Champion lover you look like you lost a fight.” Hilarious. Here’s Jim Carrey as Vanilla Ice, too. Jim Carrey ain’t terrible at the worm.

-e

And den whaaat....

2005-11-01T06:55:00.000-08:00

"Gimme potato chips next year and see what happens!"

- Happy Halloween: I’m absolutely astonished that my house didn’t get TP-ed last night. Not because I live in a particularly mischievous neighborhood or anything. And certainly not because anyone has a long-lasting vendetta against me and/or my family (that I know of), but for the simple fact that my mom was giving out BAGS OF POTATO CHIPS to trick or treaters. When I found out about this, I was like “WTF?!” Who the hell wants potato chips for Halloween? Mothereffers want Reese’s peanut butter cups and/or twizzlers! I can’t believe that this year, we were “the bad treat” house. The house that all the kids whispered about when meeting up on the street corner: “Yo, Mr. Johnson is handing out whole packages of Swedish fish! Be sure to go there. But, man, Mrs. N***** is handing out potato chips, dude! Eff that!” I totally expected to walk out my door this morning and see toilet paper everywhere… and what’s more? We would’ve deserved it.

- God Bless Scoop Jackson: NBA season starts tonight! What! Go sixers! They finna win the Atlantic Division just like ~~everyone~~ Scoop Jackson says. Gyeaaaah!

- Jr Gong vs Sean de Paul: Wayne is back at it with an absolutely wonderful review of the new Damian Marley album and the new Sean Paul album. There’s an interesting little exchange between my SIUC dude Ken and Wayne in the comments section. I think I fall more on Wayne’s side, especially when he says stuff like the following:

i think we have to ask what kind of work is "jamrock" doing? and i'm just not convinced that it's doing anything more productive than any sean paul songs (my emphasis).

- Ivy League and Legacy: “Legacy admissions” is rather obviously just “affirmative action” for the privileged, isn’t it? Next time someone opposes race-based “affirmative action” for minority students to universities, just punch them in the face and assure them that “meritocracy” is only a myth white folks use to perpetuate their privilege anyway.

- The Shrimp: The shrimp was down for a few days, but it’s back and better than ever. Serg (host of the best-named website ever) sparked things off with this tremendous post. The song really is terrible. How you gonna sample “Sweet Child O’ Mine”?

-e

Most fun ever?

2005-10-31T06:56:00.000-08:00

Wylin' out

The boy "Sparkles" (me) and Steve Cannon

I'm absolutely wasted at this point

- This Weekend: Thanks to urryone that came out to the several parties that Bo and I DJed this weekend. This weekend was insane. Friday night we did the Child’s Play party (pictures and recap here--there's nothing but smiles in all those pics) with Low Budget, Dan the Swede (the best person ever), and Steven Bloodbath from the Town Jewelrz and it was absolute mayhem. 400 folks rolled through to experience the ridiculously rowdy Willie-Hutch-into-“Stay Fly” moshpit, some “Sweet Child O’ Mine” (twice), and Bo Bliz killing the slow reggae. And the BPP boys were in the house! The BYOB-ness of the party was key (everyone was pretty much annihilated) but made for an absolutely horrible cleaning experience the next day. Nothing is worse than having a pounding hangover-headache and having to bend down and pick up stanky stale beer bottles all day after getting like four hours of sleep. Ugh dude. That shiz was ROUGH. But the party was a huge success and went off without a hitch (except for some cornball grafitti artist tagging the spot up right before the party ended. Whoever did that—and we know who did it—is an effin’ cornball. First of all, his hand styles are terrible and, second of all, dude tagged the spot up two minutes before the party ended. So, the only people that saw it were me and the 4 other DJs. Way to “get up,” homie. Don’t worry though—we’re gonna get you for the deposit money you owe us, you prick). Then on Saturday it was off to the east village for Bo and I to hold down “Curl” with Moe Choi. We killed it and a bunch of homies came through and it was a good ass time. But, needless to say, it’s Monday morning and the boy is absolutely exhausted. Looooooooong-ass hectic weekend capped-off with a terrible Eagles loss. And, unfortunately, I’m too exhausted to go see my man Brendan Bring’em get down tonight for his crazy Halloween party at Denim. I’m sorry Brendan. I suck. You really need to go to this:

SOUL TRAVELERS ON HALLOWEEN NIGHT
Monday, October 31st At Denim With A Live Band

It's a special night of the Soul Travelers DJ'ing with a live band like it's never been done before. The Soul Travelers have put together a 10 piece dance orchestra led by James Rouse, Kelis' tour drummer and musical impresario. The band will be playing 70's, 80's and 90's dance classics mixing in out of the Soul Travelers' sets, keeping the dance floor jumping with classics as well as a full out live BALTIMORE CLUB set. Brendan and Joey will be holding it down along with your hosts for the night, Gravy and Ryva.

The Halloween theme for the night is "The Grammy Awards," so think of an artist you've always wanted to masquerade as and make it happen for the night. You can come dressed as what ever you'd like, but there will be a reduced admission for those in costume. It happens at Denim at 1712 Walnut Street and the party goes from 9 pm to 3 am.

A Halloween Night At The Grammy's w/ Soul Travelers
Monday, October 31st at denim> 1712 Walnut Street

- More On the Dress-Code: A pretty funny article about what the players can do to combat the dress-code. Hey, if you can’t beat ‘em “outside the system,” work within the confines “within the system,” right?

- Sudoku: I’m kind of a Sudoku freak these days. I’m not particularly great at them but I’m not bad either. The Metro puzzle is way too easy though.

-e

Boo, bitch!

2005-10-28T09:27:00.000-07:00

Uh oh.

What you gwan do?

2005-10-26T09:42:00.000-07:00

- The Wednesday Night Weekly: Bo and I are DJing tonight at the TWNW. Come holler. $2 PBR and/or Yueng-er cans. Holler. Official promo is the following:

Thats right! This wednesday is the official debut of the newest residents at TWNW, emynd & Bo Bliz. These cats are the REAL F'N DEAL on the decks. I had the pleasure of seeing them rock the Family Affair crowd over the summer and immediately brought them in last month to TWNW and the crowd ate them up to say the least. Prepare to get your dance on this week. These are the types of dudes that just ALWAYS seem to play the right track at the right time....expect to hear allll the classics.
Oh yea, this will also be my OFFICIAL birthday celebration. SO YOU KNOW shits gonna be poppin this week. Be sure to come out and buy a brotha a shot. And by "brotha", I mean skinny white boy.

- Peedi Peedi: Quoting Peedi’s lyrics isn’t a very productive way to relay the genius of the man. Peedi is a flow monster. His lyrics are basically meaningless. You gotta listen to the man to hear the man!

- Cunninglynguists: OK, I’m really not too into “underground rap,” these days, but this new Cunninglynguists shit sounds great (snippets). The production is ridiculous. The homie Trapper Juan’s review of it confirms that it is dope. Did I mention that the production is ridiculous? Dude DJ Kno got rekkids.

- Benjamin, Warhol, and Aura: For my grad-school theory nerds, Steven Shaviro has some more brilliantly simple stuff to say about Benjamin, Warhol, and the concept of “aura”. The basic gist of it is that “authenticity” only exists because of the commodity culture that relentlessly razes it—you can’t have one without the other. Again, that’s worth repeating: “authenticity” only exists because of (not in spite of) the commodity culture that destroys it. So, if you’re going to suggest that commodification (and/or technology as Benjamin does in “The Work of Art in the Age of Mechanical Reproduction”) is the central focus as what brought on the demise of “authenticity,” you should be aware that commodification is simultaneously what made that “authenticity” actually “authentic” in the first place. Again, you can’t have one without the other. I think the major point of this isn’t to suggest we should lament the demise of “authenticity” because of commodity culture, nor praise commodity culture for simultaneously “creating” this notion of authenticity. Instead, it’s just a matter of understanding where this notion of “authenticity” comes from--that “authenticity” is not only a victim of commidification, but also at once a product of it as well.

- Turntable Lab Record Checks: Here, here, here, here, here, here, Diplo here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here. Whew. I’m sure I linked some of those incorrectly, but fuck it.

-e

Electro-shock-therapy.

2005-10-25T06:37:00.000-07:00

- Halloween Jump-Offs: Two Halloween leap-offs this weekend. Bo and I are DJing at the soon-to-be-epic Philly party Child's Play with Low Budget, Steve Bloodbath, and our White T compatriot Dan The Swede. Remember: it's BYOB, so come get rowdy with us. Then, on Saturday night, we're rocking the East Village at CURL. Free Vodka from 10-11 and no cover and just us smashin' mugs with that electroshocktherapy. Come through!

- Slightly Nerdy to Sincerely Strange: Like woah.

- Feast or Famine: Here's some more good press for Reef’s new album over at RapReviews.com. Reviewer agrees with me that "Look at the Sun" shoulda been a single! Gyeah!

- Can I Kick It?: You go, girl! This girl was homecoming Queen AND the football team’s kicker. If I’m not mistaken, Mike Vanderjagt is the only other kicker that can claim to be homecoming Queen and his highschool football team’s kicker.

- Stay At Home Mom On Strike: I think this lady is over-estimating how much leverage she has. She certainly has a better job than I do, though.

- BDSM Sheriff: Dude, this dude is the scariest human ever.

- Sudden Impact: Remember Sudden Impact? Don’t worry, me neither… that is, until I clicked this link and it all came rushing back to me in a flurry. If you click one link of mine today, make sure it’s that one.

- Janet Jackson's got a seed?: Apparently, Janet's got an 18-year-old daughter with James DeBarge.

- Donnie Darko: My dude R*b*rt/Icarus from the shrimp broke down the “Donnia Darko is great” phenomenon on a messageboard recently. I’m posting it because it’s pretty hilarious:

There is a certain breed of hetero, Yankee, cracker of the male persuasion who thinks himself smarter than the average person -- his tastes more refined, his penchant to derive 'meaning' more pronounced. Let’s call this young man Blake. This person is typically between the ages of 17 and 23. He's not particularly well-read (though he thinks he is because he's read Invisible Monsters AND Survivor ). His knowledge of music consists almost entirely of the recent Pitchforkmedia canon and maybe the Velvet Underground. If he likes rap at all, his favorite artist is probably Aesop Rock. And when it comes to film, impossible weak, borderline offensive, shit like Garden State is his favorite shit. In fact, the main character of Garden State is his patron saint. The character's disenchantment with suburban cracker culture resonates with our hypothetical young man. Like the Garden State guy, this kid can't actually leave suburban cracker culture behind, cultivating a distinct personality, considering the world, music, film, on radically different terms. That would involve far too much work for our young man, who'd rather fake it than make it. Instead, Blake keeps his parents' culture at arms length, arrogantly holding his nose. His old friends and family tolerate him because they know he hasn't gone nearly as far as he thinks he has and that he'll eventually come home to roost.

This kid loooves Donnie Darko. Why? Not because it's such a great movie -- it's good, but that's almost irrelevent. But:

1) The main character is another disenchanted suburban white boy, it reminds him of all his other favorite films (think Wes Anderson) and his favorite topic (i.e. himself).

2) Donnie Darko, like Blake, isn't just disenchanted with suburban cracker life (like, say, a character in a Todd Solondz film), he's discovered a way out. This works for Blake in several ways:

3) Donnie's path out of suburban crackerdom is exclusive to him. Only he can see it. He is the fucking unique butterfly superhero that all the Blakes of the world think/wish they are.

4) Donnie's path out of suburban crackerdom is couched in metaphysical mumbo-jumbo. Blake loves this shit. He might've read a book about chaos theory or some shit like that in his life. It's important, though, that the way out is mystical but not spiritual. Blake is a militant believer in science. Had this mystical mumbo-jumbo been instead religious mumbo-jumbo, Blake would certainly think less of the film. The film is set out to mock Swayze's mystical, non-scientific mumbo-jumbo but asks us to take Donnie's scientific mumbo-jumbo seriously.

5) The casting of the film was brilliant. I've known several Blakes in my life and almost all of them once had a thing for Drew Barrymore. Drew Barrymore, in her prime, was unlike anything else Blake has ever known. She was a gorgeous Hollywood star but she was also an unpredictable alternachick. In Blake's dream, accessible. Sorta like Fiona Apple but less self-consciously intellectual. And Patrick Swayze as a child molester? The Swayze of Blake's youth was a pretty-boy badass ladykilling dancing machine. Blake loves watching guys like that go down.

God damn the dude is killing it!

-e

The Dress Code

2005-10-24T06:03:00.000-07:00

- Game Over: There is one last thing that I'd like to say about the dress-code:

“The Jordan crossover [appeal], as engineered by [his agent David Falk], succeeded because white Americans got to participate fully in what was ‘Jordan’ without ever having their race guilt triggered. Jordan’s white fans didn’t think of him as black the way Ali’s white fans thought of him as black; Jordan didn’t construct his public persona out of his blackness. As a result, the world’s most dangerous man on the hardwood was utterly unthreatening as a symbol; he ‘transcended’ race, which is to say that in his planed, smiling face, white Americans (unconsciously) sought and found permission to forget about race--both his and theirs. Thus the Jordan appeal, while giving the impression of having ‘overcome’ race--of having ‘solved’ the race problem--merely sidestepped the issue altogether.”
-- Only the Strong Survive by Larry Platt

-e

Menace II Sobriety -- Tonight!

2005-10-21T06:55:00.000-07:00

This flier looks like shit here but looks awesome in person.
I’m the best graphic designer ever.

- Rap Music (No Irony): OK, so I love Hollertronix and Diplo and Beezy are my dudes, but for better or for worse, these guys sparked a movement in Philly that I like to call the “I can play anything at all in the club” movement. Sure, it can be fun to hear some Block Party in the club and I will never complain about hearing some INXS mixed in nicely, but as beautiful as a song “Paint it Black” is, is that really something folks want to shake their ass to? And, if so, are these the types of folks I want to be around, especially considering that most of these people find it excessively funny to dance to old Mary J Blige songs and Wu-Tang joints. The fuck is so funny about that shit, you terds? That shit is fucking HOT. So, in that vein, Bo Bliz, Lady Jae, and I are doing a party called “Menace II Sobriety” where we are going to—god forbid—actually stick to a format and won’t play everything under the sun from the Stones to the Streets. So, if you like classic hip-hop, dancehall, and r&b un-ironically (i.e. you actually like the music you’re hearing) come to our party tonight. We are gonna rock everything from Tribe to Jeezy to DJ Technics (without all the hipster-weirdness that is by now standard in all Philly DJ sets) at the Blue Horseshoe and will promptly beat up anyone that ain’t acting right. So, tonight (and every third Friday!) 10PM to 2AM. 10 South 20th Street (just south of Market)!

- God, Beards, and Hair: Well, if you’ve ever been interested in the influence of politics and religion on the hair and beard, this article is for you. I haven’t read it yet, but I bet there’s some interesting stuff that we can link up to the stupid-ass dress-code policy the stupid-ass NBA has stupidly adopted. More on this later after I read the article.

- Race and the Dress Code: Speaking of the stupid-ass NBA and its stupid-ass dress-code policy, this is one of the few sensible things that’s been written about it. Of course it doesn’t overtly address the issue most at stake “race,” but white folks are notoriously good at under-valuing the importance of “race” in these issues (cue high voice: “Oh stop playing the race card!”). Steven Jackson—one that’s never been hesitant to throw punches, both literally and figuratively—thinks it’s racist because it’s his god-given right as a black man to rock medallions. I don’t necessarily agree with his logic (logic that I’m obviously exaggerating), but I do think it’s “racist”—not because the rules are prohibiting mostly black people from dressing a certain way, nor because the rules are pretty much based on the fashion-sense of most black stars like Iverson. The dress-code is racist because it is an attempt to appease a racist audience that has lost interest in the NBA. Older white folks don’t like the NBA anymore. They claim it’s because the game is excessively “individualized” (although the Spurs and Pistons--the last few champions--are teams that are excessively un-individualized, and as the ratings show, the least fun to watch) and because it’s less “pure” (i.e. just about the money), or because it’s too low-scoring (which I’m not actually convinced of… somebody point me to some statistics that show that 80’s and 90’s were REALLY that much more high-scoring. Sure, we all remember the Lakers and Celtics serieses that reached 120 points each every game, but I highly fucking doubt the Pistons-Bulls serieses reached that high and I highly fucking doubt MOST games were really that high-scoring), but the fact of the matter is the game is less-popular because the folks who were buying tickets in the past (rich white folks) don’t like the game anymore because it’s “too black.” This dress-code is an attempt to roll back the league’s “black” image to appease its (some mildly, some not so mildly) racist fans. End of story. It’s racist. It’s obviously not on the same level as lynching or the Katrina aid, but nonetheless, it’s motivated by race and racist. Shockingly, even freedarko associate Bethlehem Shoals is hesitant to blow the “racist” whistle. What the fuck? Shoals is always good for some gold though and says (in a complete different context) “i don't buy that espn piece that artest is turning into the next rodman. that's like saying freeway is the next chris cornell.” Haha! Anyway, the only argument that is really valid for being “pro-dress-code” is that this shit was in the collective bargaining agreement that the Player’s Association agreed upon. Heh. I guess the players should’ve read that shit before they agreed to agree with it, huh? Stupid black people! They can’t even read! I do think that the dress-code is going to make for some interesting outfits though. Who’s gonna be the first person to wear a sport’s jacket with a snowman screen printed on the back? I wonder if bullet-proof vests are banned, too. Someone should rock one as a sweater-vest.

- Speaking of Racism: These girls aren’t “racist,” they’re just “white nationalists.” Jeez! Stop playing the race card! In all honesty, this is one of the most disgusting things I’ve ever seen. Some dude on a messageboard said “These girls are gonna be doing ‘blacks on blondes’ porn in a couple years.” It’s funny because it’s true.

- Beer and Vaginas: I guess if you like to perform oral sex on a girl, there’s not a lot of reason to be super disgusted by this, but uh, shit’s pretty nasty. However, it makes for some interesting marketing opportunities. If they were smart, they’d try to enroll some celebrities and make special, individualized brews from celebrities’ vaginas. There’s probably at least a million dudes that would love to drink a beer made from Scarlett Johanson’s yeast.

- Beer and (c)Rap: Serg thinks he’s such a man but he hurt himself at a fucking Glue show. I heard he hurt himself right in between the opening prayer session and the “WWJD” freestyle cipher. Sucka! Anyway, just kidding… Adeem and Maker are two of the nicest people ever. Hey guys! I do like that Serg laughs at this guy though. Super hot picture. Peep the file name, too. Hah.

- Fuck and Stuff: If you check the same three message-boards that I do, there’s really no reason to come to my blog because all I do is post stuff on here that other people have found elsewhere and then occasionally write like 500 words calling somebody a “racist.” This blog should be called “Other People’s Stuff and Emil Calling People Racist(s)” and should be relocated to OPSECPR.com. Or not. Anyway, fuck this book and fuck DJ Ayres for putting me up on it.

-e

Let that mothereffer burn...

2005-10-17T06:23:00.000-07:00

- Fuck Hollerween!: We don’t need no stinking Hollertronix on Halloween! We got Low Budget (from the aforementioned Hollertronix), Steve Bloodbath (from the Town Jewelerz), Dan the Swede, and me & Bo Bliz doing the damn thizzing at Broad and Federal at an ex-funeral parlor. Halloweensoreal. Clich here. Game over.

- Penn State: *sigh* R.I.P. to PSU’s National Title chances. I mean, they were slim to begin with, but I think they would’ve have to gone undefeated to finish in the top two or three this year. They’re still probably gonna wind up in a pretty good bowl, but I had myself convinced that they might do bigger thangs. Oh well. But, here’s some severally bad news: Williams broke his arm. Fuck.

- Reef vs All Hip-Hop: My man Reef is getting some shine at AllHipHop.com. Can’t hate on that. Do your thang, my dude. Bol even got the headline/frontpage story. Gyeah!

- Record Show and Swap Meet: The Record-Revival swap meet is back in the building and I’m swinging through with some gems for trade. At the famed-Holletronix-Ukie from 1-7PM next Sunday, October 22. Bring me your drum breaks.

- White-Washing or the Michael Jackson Disease: So, there’s some rumors that Vanity Fair “white-washed” (i.e. artificially lightened Beyonce’s skintone) Beyonce on the cover of the November issue. Looking at the covers, I can’t notice a discernible difference, but I certainly wouldn’t be surprised if it had happened.

- Bun B vs Catchdubs: Go. Catchdubs is a really solid “journalist.” Kudos.

- Underground Hip-Hop Records: Go buy some of Nool’s rare underground hip-hop from ebay.

- Close Your Tags!: Somebody tell the folks at the stencil to close their bold html tags!

- Self-Serving Bad Thoughts: I find myself unwittingly wishing that bad things will continue to happen to Mr. Babylon at his Bronx-based school so his blog will stop being on his “nothing bad enough for me to write about” hiatus. We all know the deal though, dude. It’s not so much that bad stuff isn’t happening, it’s just that dude is more concerned with writing about “Lost” (on his 15th blog) than he is writing about kids. Oh well. Come home, Mr. Babylon!

- Grimey: I know this kind of shit happens everywhere, but Jesus Christ, Philly can be a really grimey place. Clever headline to the piece, too. Not really pathos-filled, but cute, right?

-e

I'ma rob me a person...

2005-10-11T08:37:00.000-07:00

- Illinoise: I bought this Sufjan Steven’s CD “Illinoise” this weekend because I heard “Chicago” on the radio a few times and I fucking love it. This dude kills. Cop that shit.

- Wayne: One Year Down, Eternity to go!: The wonderful blogger Wayne from wayne&wax celebrated his One Year Wedding Anniversary recently, proving himself to be much more than just ~~an interesting nerd~~ a great writer. Congrats, dude. Only eternity to go!

- Reef Review: In a fit of extreme journalistic immorality, my dude Drew Lazor/Trapper Juan wrote a nice review of Reef’s new record, saying nice things about Reef and complimenting my beats. Thanks, dude. Sorry for publicly exposing your lack of journalistic integrity and/or ethics, but somebody’s gotta watch the watch-dog!

- White Tizzle and Bizzle: White T’s and Belts was hella fun. Bo, Dan, and I did our thing (on woodgrain turntables no less) and the place was packed even though it was raining like a muuuug. Thanks to urryone that came out. You can see some early night pics here, but it’s worth reiterating that they were EARLY. Bkellz took these pics before 12:15 and shit didn’t get poppin’ until 12:30 or so. Come next time, you folls!

- Pornography Task Force: Well, the FBI’s newly created ~~Anti-Porn Task Force~~ Child Exploitation and Obscenity Section of the Justice Department has raided the office of notorious male porn-star Max Hardcore. Now, I’m not necessarily pro-disgusting porn, but I am pro-free speech and as long as nobody is being illegally violated and/or directly forced into doing disgusting porn, I don’t see the harm in its existence. I do, however, find a great deal of harm in passing legislation based on “morality” that would limit this type of “expression.” This is straight-up censorship, and it’s not right, and it’s un-American. If (a) an 18-year old girl wants to get sodomized by an old man on camera, who is anybody to say she shouldn’t be able to do that if she wants and/or (b) some folks (of legal viewing age) shouldn’t watch it? We value the wrong things in this country.

- Ed Wade: Speaking of “valuing the wrong things,” Phillies GM for 8 years Ed Wade has FINALLY been canned. Philly’s “Premier Radio Sports Talk Personality” Howard Eskin seems to think that Wade’s firing was in no small part due to something like 1/3 of the season ticket holders writing letters to Dave Montgomery saying that they would not be purchase season tickets next year if Wade returned while countless other non-season ticket purchasers wrote similar letters expressing their disdain. I applaud the fans’ desire to make their voices heard, but why is it that folks are more willing to write a letter to get a GM of a baseball team fired, but would never sit down and write a letter to a congressman about something that might actually AFFECT them. Of course, I’m greatly simplifying the dynamics of what it means to be “human” with this brief rant, but it’s still slightly frustrating. Oh well. Go buy some Eskin fur from the King of Bling.

- Derrida Loves Dipset: On a messageboard recently, I was asked to elaborate when I said “I still think Dipset... is much more political than someone like Talib Kweli will ever be.” Well, here’s my verbose explication in my famous small font that Aaron loves:

some anonymous conscious rapper

-e

TONIGHT!

2005-10-07T08:06:00.000-07:00

COME THROUGH MOTHERFUCKERS!

White T's and White Belts

Gyeah! Gyeah!

Free before 11! $2 PBRs!!

Back in the building... back on the map...

2005-10-05T06:31:00.000-07:00

White T's and White Belts

Gyeah! It's that time again for the hottest first Friday party in the Smellydelphia district with your good, fine, special friends emynd, The Swede, and Bo Bliz. We've settled on making Ulana's on 2nd and Bainbridge (yes, it's the Goth club) the monthly jump-off because it's a dope spot (there's like 3 rooms and a fucking balcony... so real), we got the $2 PBR jump-off, and it's probably pretty close to you or your friends South Philly crib (which is a good place to get that pre-game action poppin' while watching that there Penn State game... ~~WE ARE!~~). It's more of the same Debbie Deb meets Dipset meets Debbie Harry madness that you know and love with good peoples, good drinks, good DJs, and a whole lot of behinds moving in steady, calculated arhythmic motions. Shit's free before 11 so get there early, otherwise you'll have to pay a toll to the troll at the door to enter... but it'll be worth it either way. We killed that shit last month and there's no reason to think it'll be any different this time around so deifintely come through or suffer a fate worse than death: boredom on a Friday.

You ARE allowed to do the following at White T's and White Belts:

- This
- Dress like this
- This... but only at the end of the night
- This
- Extreme Feminism is encouraged but definitely not this
- And please no dudes up in the club like this (that means you, too, Bo Bliz).
- Synchronized swimming

Nothing's better than fun!

- Spiders on Drugs: Look at what happens to spiders on drugs. That shit's pretty funny if you ask me.

- Rap Rumors: A bunch of silly rap rumors/facts posted on a game forum. Weird. I love when people say "Rappers aren't as talented as any musician." So hot.

- Bun B Month: It’s Bun B month at Houstonsoreal. Go.

-e

You don't have to say what you did... I already know... I found out from hiiiiiiiim.

2005-10-04T06:37:00.000-07:00

”The only way I can possibly make up for this is
to do something good with my money. I vow to!” – JT

- God Bless JT: Man, I can’t hate on Justin Timberlake, at all. “Cry Me a River” is still one of my favorite songs ever (no sarcasm), and I’m especially impressed that dude is willing to do good things with his money. Some jack-asses are already protesting against this shit as if JT is “gonna pull all extant Stax releases from shelves and replace them with ‘improved’ versions that feature his own vocals” (which blatantly isn’t the case), but I echo this response: “I would understand people's ire if Justin was ruthlessly outbidding Carla Thomas or Steve Cropper for these places/catalogs, but so far no one has indicated that there is anything of the sort transpiring.” People are just a bunch of fucking haters.

- NBA and Power Rankings: Training Camp has started. GYEAH! Already got some Power Rankings posted. Which reminds me of one of the funnier McSweeney’s pieces that I probably posted like 6 months ago: My Family’s Power Rankings.

- Beanie Sigel Interview: Peep a candid Beanie Sigel interview. Good stuff.

- Family Guy Nerds: For you Family Guy dorks, you can go here and tell Stewie to do stuff. Shit’s pretty funny. Tell him to “have sex with a pig.” Hilarious.

- MIA vs Honda: I’m sure most of y’all who care have heard by now that MIA’s song “Galang” is now appearing in a Honda commercial. Everyone’s favorite resident blogging genius Mr. Wayne&Wax chimes in with some of his patented provocative inquisitions (no religio-genocide), and I myself don’t really know what to say about it. I found myself sticking up for Common when he chose to do those stupid Pepsi commercials but I was only sticking up for him because I felt like the criticism against him was so severe. I didn’t really care either way whether or not he was pimping Pepsi (or whether Pepsi was pimping him) nor did I care about any sense of “authenticity” involved with Common’s endorsement. And, let’s be frank, that’s what this is all about these days: fans expect artists to turn down corporate endorsements because it’s a quick way to decide whether or not the artist in question is doing it “for the love” or “for the money.” Nobody really considers whether or not the artist supports the company being advertised. After all, I don’t think anyone is sitting around thinking, “Ya know what? Maybe MIA really likes Hondas and that’s why she did it.” No. At this point, we all know how the game works: a hip ad person has been reading blogs and knows that the kids like MIA and so “Galang” is a perfect way to grab their attention so they throw a huge sum of money at the artist that only an idiot would say “no” to (unless the ad was for something that was blatantly “bad”). This issue is simply about the money. Fans simply don’t want artists getting money from corporate venues. Why not? Who the fuck knows? After all, this doesn’t affect the integrity of the music unless the fans allow it to. It’s as simple as this: MIA wanted some money. She was offered money and took it. So the fuck what? Let her live. Her album isn’t doing the huge numbers the blogosphere predicted it would, so let the girl get some fuckin’ duckets. Who gives a shit?

-e

My guns go boom boom, your guns go pow pow

2005-10-03T06:27:00.000-07:00

- Woodgrain 1200s: Fuck a wood grain steering wheel or a wood grain dash. It’s all about my dude Dan the Swede’s home-made wood grain 1200s. So fucking real.

- Teen Captures His Own Killing on Tape: This is fucking chilling. Gotdamn.

- RIP August Wilson: Playwright August Wilson died yesterday. Sad. RIP, homie.

- Dark Crystal Sequel: Damn. This should be hot. The special effects in the original early 80’s version were super dope so I can only imagine how this shit is gonna look now. Shit should be super trill. RIP Jim Henson.

- Cage vs Serg: I really like that Serg is into equal parts grimey street hip-hop and cutesy emo rap. It’s quite endearing that this uberly-macho ~~alcoholic~~ beer-connoisseur can find pleasure in both Three 6 Mafia as well as Sage Francis. In that vein, he’s posted some new Cage shit and has anyone mentioned how metro this dude looks now? Sheesh. Anyway, go listen to it if you’re into that sorta thing.

- The Devil Made Me Do It: From poplicks, Lynddie England blames her ex-lover for abuse photos. Laughable but infuriating.

- Roots Vs Project Pat: Weird song that’ll probably never see the light of day.

- Mr. Babylon: Hombre Blanco is getting better at teaching! Let’s applaud him. He’s the best blogger ever.

- Reggaetron: Thanks to free darko I am now aware that David Ortiz likes ReggaeTRON. Hah!

-e

Fun, fun, fun.

2005-09-30T07:23:00.000-07:00

"Please ask before you pee on me"
Yes, I realize this picture don't fit and 'if it don't fit, don't force it,' but fuck it, I'm lazy.

- CHYEEAH: Bo and I are DJing tonight at the Blue Horseshoe (10 South 20th St. Just South of Market on the West side of 20th Street) for the NOTHING FANCY RELEASE PARTY (i.e. the guys that may or may not be responsible for the beautiful peace of PR/Marketing/Vandalism/Art above). Nothing Fancy is a website/online-magazine that showcases Philly art: graphic design, paintings, poems, short stories, etc, etc, etc. My only gripe is that I think they shoulda called "N'an Fancy" but that's just me. Anyway, shit is dope and the new issue is supposed to be even doper. Bo and I have free reign to do whatever the fuck we want tonight (at least behind the turntables. We're not allowed to kill goats as a sign of sacrifice to the god we worship) so expect Toto, Dipset, Franz Ferdinand, TI, Damian Marley, Cindy Lauper, Cormega, Biggie, and probably even some Capone N Noreaga ("THE INVINCIBLE, UNTOUCHABLE!"). Shit's gonna be stupid fun. It's free and drinks are stupid cheap. Fun, fun, fun.

- Pretending Exercise: This is hilarious all by itself, but it's even more hilarious if you attempt to remove it from the context of sports: imagine, for just a moment, that this isn't a basketball game and isn't accidental and is just a well-executed, intentional jump-kick to the face. It makes it that much funnier. Animated gifs are the shit. Thanks to Dr. Robert for the lizzink.

-e

I'm a mothereffin' P. I. M. P.

2005-09-29T06:52:00.000-07:00

Uh-oh, busghettios

- It’s Coming: Fuck Juelz Santana’s new album. Fuck the new Clipse Mixtape (though this shit is crazy hot). THIS is what I’m really REALLY waiting for. Peep Free Darko’s recent comments sections and read anything by Rocco Chappelle. He’s coming to take-over the blogosphere and I will happily secede all of my assets to the dudest of dudes. Never mind the fact that he actually knows somebody who likes the Black Eyed Peas. That is irrelevant. The end is near. I welcome it with open arms.

- Green Friendly Web Hosting: If the “end isn’t near” like I predict above, well, at least there’s Green Friendly Web Hosting for the hippy in us all: wind/Solar Power Web hosting. Like, that’s totally righteous, bro. But, yeah, it is actually pretty cool.

- Illmatic: This video on the making of “Illmatic” reminds me of some good ol’ days. Really dope. Not that you need reminding, but it definitely reminded me why “Illmatic” is one of the best rap albums ever. Period.

- Chuck K verses Bill S: I dunno why I even bother posting shit like this because everyone probably already reads it anyway, but Parts 1 and 2 of the Bill Simmons versus Chuck Klostermann interview/wank-fest are up. Reading this shit is excessively difficult. These guys both think they’re way smarter than they actually are, I think. I mean, they’re both pretty funny and have their moments, but this shit is unbearably long-winded. Shut up. I just realized that nothing makes people want to click a link more than describing how “bad” it is. I can almost guarantee that more people are interested in reading this shit now that I’ve dissed the shit out of it and will refrain from reading the “good” article I’ve posted below. I’d say “any publicity is good publicity,” but it seems more apt to say that, for bloggin purposes: bad publicity is good publicity and good publicity isn’t publicity at all. Anyway, let me know if I’m crazy or if this shit really is pretty god damn unreadable.

- Officer Criticizes Detainee Abuse Inquiry: Good article. Gyeah. Good for him.

- SCrimpin’: We’ve actually updated The Shrimp! Rejoice. Joe Buddens, Lil Kim, Three 6 Mafia sittin’ in a tree.

- Misogyny in Rap: I think I’ve posted about misogyny in hip-hop on this blog before, but it came up on a messageboard again recently and I posted the following shit addressing the image of “pimpin’” and misogyny in general in this thing we called “rap music”:

The issue of misogyny in hip-hop is, like all things worth talking about, a ridiculously complicated one. First of all, let it be said that I find the glorification of "pimpin’" to be some pretty ridiculous shit that at a very basic level I simply don't agree with but (a) this doesn't mean I can't and/or shouldn't enjoy music that "glorifies" “pimpin’” and (b) the glorification of "pimpin’" and misogyny is simply too complicated in rap music to be either "for" or "against" it in any simple way.

First of all, I really don't think art is something that teaches what one thinks about a certain subject. I think art has the capability of teaching how one thinks (i.e. it can challenge your abilities to comprehend, analyze, criticize, etc), but I really don't think art in general informs people's values--it's much more just a reflection of them. That being said, the glorification of "pimpin’" in hip-hop isn't THE problem, it's simply a SYMPTOM of a larger problem: namely, the reality that is the oppressive objectification of women in our society. Which is to say that I don't think there are a lot of dudes out there who respect women and treat them "equally" (whatever the hell that means) who all of a sudden hear's a Too Short song and says "You know what? I ain't gonna love these hoes anymore." That's not how the human psyche works, as far as I'm concerned. Folks who are going to place value in "pimpin" and glorify it aren't people who have been transformed into seeing the beauty of the pimpin' ways by the song "P.I.M.P." They are dudes who already don't hold women to the highest regard. So, it's perfectly possible for a lot of folks to like a song about "pimpin'" and not agree with the message.

Secondly, I think the glorification of "pimpin'" isn't as simple as it sounds on paper. I'd argue that this pimp character is used so frequently in rap as a way of expressing masculinity more than it is a way of oppressing strong females. Rap music is an extremely "masculine" art form that is interested in performances of power, confidence, and virtuosity. Often times, unfortunately, this performance of power is based on misogyny and domination over females but you'd be hard-pressed to make the argument that THAT is the primary function of the glorification of pimpin' and misogyny. When Snoop says "We don't love them hoes," he's not talking to jawns (which in and of itself is misogynistic, i.e. to not even consider that your audience might have listening and interested female subjects), he's addressing his dudes out there saying "I'm the man, homie." This of course isn't to excuse the misogyny, but it's worth pointing out that the misogyny in rap music is not as straight up-and-down good/bad as we'd like it to be. The misogyny is an attempt for the black man to exert/perform some sort of power in a society where he's been robbed of much of that power for over 5 centuries. Of course, that don't make it "right" in any sense of the word. In fact, it's quite reprehensible, but we should realize that it's a very real product of our country's institutional racism that still prevails to this day. The same thing goes for 'hood homophobia. It's not like these dudes are "scared" of gay people or even really feel threatened by them--it's simply an exertion of power because they LACK any other power. It's misguided and disgusting and awful, but it's a reality of oppression.

Which is all a long-winded way of saying: don't hate the player, hate the game. Misogyny in rap is a reality because of the system that relentlessly oppresses. Oppression breeds oppression so to expect there to be a change in how rap music feels about the power relationship between men and women WITHOUT THERE BEING ANY ACTUAL, REAL-LIFE SOCIOECONOMIC CHANGES is a bit naive as far as I'm concerned.

And, lastly, the oddest thing about all the misogyny in rap music is how females respond to it. Any club DJ can stand testiment to the fact that jawns are the ones that like the most misogynistic songs. I remember reading a post on some blog recently about "The Whisper Song" and how blah blah blah it was all misogynistic and offensive and shit, but my first thought was "Well then why the fuck do jawns LOVE that shit?" I suppose you can make the argument that these jawns are stupid or something and like it in spite of the misogynism, but that's way too easy (not to mention ridiculously elitist and basically assumes that any jawn who likes that song is stupid). The reality of it is that these jawns like that shit BECAUSE of the misogynism. This isn't to say that these jawns secretly have a desire to be opressed and their approval of the Ying Yang Twins is a latent expression of that. No. I think these jawns find a real sense of power in the misogyny on some "Yeah, fine you want to objectify me and hyper-sexualize me? Fine. I like sex. I'ma use that to my advantage." Some jawns find a real sense of power in accepting the misogyny and brushing it off. It's a somewhat compliated rejection of the misogynistic message by completely accepting it: "Think you're gonna offend me by saying you're gonna beat my pussy up? Nuh uh, honey! I want my pussy beaten up!" Whether or not we agree with that sense of power that these jawns get from that type of acceptance is beside the point.

I dunno. This whole conversation is a really complicated one and we can sit here and say "Yeah, fuck all this pimpin' shit!" and be righteous and adequately liberal, but the fact of the matter is that it's way more complicated than all that. A lot of shit rappers say still makes me cringe (I find that new David Banner song with Too Short to be pretty repulsive at times), but to be either simply for or against misogyny in rap music isn't the point. It's much more important to understand what the fuck is going on with the power shifts and performances, and see what's informing those values.

I guess in sum: art is only as offensive as the social conditions it comes from. And, to me, the real social conditions that inform the art will always be more offensive and dangerous that the art that represents them.

- PS: While I’m in the spirit of sharing random ramblings, here’s another (from an email I sent my dude) about my relationship with Anticon and white underground (“emo”?) rap:

I thought it was pretty common knowledge that I was previously an Anticon producer... What's funny is that several of the dudes I associate with who either used to or still do produce for Anticon (Controller 7, Scott Matelic, etc) have basically moved in much the same direction that I have over the past few years with regards to tastes in hip-hop. I think we all have a certain degree of respect and nostalgic appreciation for a lot of that stuff, but we also recognize its place and find ourselves investing in shit that we would've hated when we were deep in our underground-white-boy aesthetic. I still don't mind the existence of Anticon and frankly find their music, at the very least, to be honest music (i.e. suburban white kids who grew up listening to equal parts Freestyle Fellowship, Mobb Deep, and indy rock perhaps shouldn't be making hip-hop that sounds like Young Jeezy), but I don't get a lot of enjoyment out of it anymore. Perhaps I'm just back to exoticizing the "black experience" the same way I was when I was 13 and 14 listening to Mobb Deep and Nas but I'd like to think of it as coming to grips with a different set of aesthetics more than some racist "exoticization." I find most Anticon fans (95%+ of which are white) or on the verge of being flat out racists though and this is what pisses me off most about groups like Anticon and Atmosphere and Sage Francis and all these underground white rappers that continue to encourage their audience to hate “black”/street rap. I don't care if these kids actually like the music, but when their idols support the notion that this primarily "black rap" is "garbage," it's not far from old white folks saying "That's just jungle music."

I'd like to think that now I'm capable of appreciating every little niche and genre of rap music for what it is, not expecting it to do things it has no intention of doing. I know it's sacrilege to admit, but I still do like a lot of Buck 65 stuff (particularly some of his earlier stuff) and I love Cam'ron--a rapper I absolutely HATED when "Horse and Carriage" came out and for several years after that.

I dunno. Rambling. I haven't bought an Anticon related product in probably 3 or 4 years. A lot of those dudes are still my dudes, but they aren't making music I'm particularly interested in anymore... but I'm glad they exist. I just wish their fans wouldn't be so quick to laugh at phrases like "white privilege" and could more intelligently articulate why exactly it is they love Mobb Deep's "The Infamous" but despise 50 Cent's "Get Rich or Die Tryin'."

White underground/emo-rap fans scare me with their latent racism that they absolutely refuse to account for or even admit is present.

Rambling.

I should know, after all. I was one of these underground-white fans who was completely oblivious to my latent racism that accompanied my tastes. Sometimes privilege is so ubiquitous, it doesn't appear to be "privilege," it just appears to be reality. It's difficult to trasnport yourself outside of your "reality grid," but once you do, it's pretty enlightening.

-e

TONIGHT AT MEDUSA'S LOUNGE

2005-09-28T06:24:00.000-07:00

Come see Bo and I DJ at Medusa's Lounge tonight. We finna hold it down and rock the shit out of your previously useless body that will be put to good use through rhythm and melody and chanting and... well...

... just come dance.

Here's the promo for it. I didn't write it, but I agree with it.

------------------------------------------------------------

So pretty much half of Philadelphia was at the last Family Affair party this past Friday night. Unfortunatly (or maybe fortunatly) Low Budget was on the left coast with Diplo doing the tour thing. So who supplied the the beats you ask? Emynd & Bo Bliz WRECKED THE PLACE. Yo, seriously no lie, Low B. sent these cats to fill in for him and dudes just plain and simple threw down. They played so well that we made some adjustments to get them on the line-up for Medusa's this Wednesday. If you were there last Friday, then you know the deal, if you werent, GET READY! The ladies were FEELING these cats on Friday. So yea, EMYND & BO BLIZ along side the best drink specials in Rittenhouse. Im not sure if you can really ask for much more out of a night.

:::TWNW | Medusa Lounge | 21st & Chestnut | Southernplayalisticadillacmuzik:::

----------------------------------------------------

GYEAH, GYEAH, GYEAH!

-e

P.S. The password is "Don't fake the funk on a nasty dunk."

Put Your Lighters Up...

2005-09-27T06:38:00.000-07:00

- Hey Mr. DJ, Everbody Wants to Party: I’m a DJing fool this week. Wednesday I’m DJing at Medusa’s Lounge (12-2, come through! More info tomorrow)with my dude Bo Bliz, then Thursday I’m DJing at my ~~soon to be defunct weekly gig at~~ Filo’s with my dude Bo Bliz, then Friday I’m DJing at the Blue Horseshoe (with my dude Bo Bliz) at a party for the newest issue of Nothing Fancy.

- Pics: I already posted the picture of the one and only Schizophrenic Tenant (with my custom T to prove it) above being a drunken idiot at Voilatronix, but here’s one with me and the aforementioned Bo Bliz. It’s also worth posting this pic: one of my other DJ partners Dan the Swede (Skutch) looking like a Trisomy child, sweating his ass off. Hilarious. Bo, The Swede and I got a White T’s and White Belts at Ulana’s poppin’ off next Friday. More info soon. Shit should be stupid hot as usual.

- DJ Stef and Vinyl Exchange Radio: I’ve never actually paid respects on this site to one of the most wonderful people I’ve (n)ever met on the net, the one and only Ms. DJ Stef from the internet staple the Vinyl Exchange. This girl has been the dude forever and continues to hold it down both as a solid DJ and an all around good person. I am proud to say that she liked one of the songs I produced for Reef’s new LP “Feast or Famine” (press release) enough to play it on her internet radio show recently, and I am both grateful and flattered. Stef is the shit. We love you, dog. Download an MP3 of the show right here. There’s some other really dope stuff on the mix like a rare Derelicts track (408 stand up!), a superb Intelligent Hoodlum track produced by the dude K-Def (i.e. “K-Def and Larry O are on some real live shit”), and a dope Ill Bill and DJ Eli song. Cop that shit. And cop Reef’s new album on CD or on vinyl.

- A Big White Lie: This dude thought he was white his whole life until he found out his mom was lying to him. What the fuck?

- Christians are Awesome: Christians prove once again to be the open-minded, loving, god-fearing folks we all know and love by ever so lovingly kicking a girl out of school because her parents are lesbians. Makes sense to me!

- Robots and Money: God damn it, Robots are so lucky! I wish I was a Robot. ~~So does my friend Kibby.~~ Regular ol’ humans found Odysseus’s grave so read that if you’re into that sorta thing, but personally, I find Robots finding treasures way more interesting. But, there’s also ghost stories poppin’ off, too.

- Free Beanie!: Beanie is free!

- Phillies! BLAAAH!: The motherfucking Phillies lost last night and so that puts them 1 and a half games out of the wild card spot, so that means they’re about to do what they always fucking do: almost make the play-offs but not quite. Five games left you bastards. Let’s do the damn thing!

- VH1 Rap Thingy: I didn’t watch this shit, but I suspect Noz’s thoughts about it are more interesting anyway. The dude Noz is the realest rap nerd I know (and feel free to peep his itunes playlist if you feel like appeasing the voyeur in you). I love reading his shit. Somebody pay this man to write.

- Really Weird Movie Sample Thingy: This list compiles “The Top 1319 Sample Sources” used in music from movies. Really weird but, I suppose, marginally interesting.

-e

Last Family Affair!

2005-09-23T07:06:00.000-07:00

Gyeah! Your boys (Bo and I) are covering for Lowbudget tonight at the LAST Family Affair of the summer at the Marathon Commerce Square (2005 Market Street -- Between 20th and 21st). Here's the promo for it:

THE LAST OUTDOOR FAMILY AFFAIR!

This Is It! Raise Your Hands And Testify This Friday Night

OUTSIDE

Free Beer 10-11PM

here

Guest List

Come through. We killed it last week.

-e

And what...

2005-09-22T06:46:00.000-07:00

- Menace II Sobriety: Here’s my amateur Photoshopped Menace II Sobriety flier. I think it’s pretty hot, but the colors look a little janky. I hope this shit turns out OK in real life because the shit’s already sent to the printer.

- Books: I put down Stephen Talty’s Mulatto America: At the Crossroads of Black and White; A Social History yesterday when I picked up Ben Mezrich’s Bringing Down the House. Mulatto America has been boring me a bit and so I was up in a bookstore just browsing on my lunch break, picked up Bringing Down the House and couldn’t help but buy it. It’s subtitled “The Inside Story of Six M.I.T. Students Who Took Vegas for Millions” and it’s basically just the story of these 6 kids who perfected and updated an old technique called “counting cards” to win obscene amounts of money in Black Jack games. The beauty of it is that (a) it’s a true story and (b) they didn’t “cheat” in any sense of the word: their entire method was based on simple mathematics and probability. Calling it “simple” is a bit misleading though because even though the strategy is “simple,” there’s only a handful of people in the world with the mental capacity to “count the cards” accurately. The basic idea behind their “counting cards” scheme—at least as I understand it—was based on team play where one person would sit at a Black Jack table in a casino and play every round fairly steadily, counting the cards until the deck was at a favorable point (i.e. they’d count the number of high and low cards that came up until there was a strong probability that most of the cards remaining in the deck were high cards). Once the deck got to a point where there was a good chance that all that was left in the deck was high cards, the guy counting would secretly motion over for one of the other players to sit down at the table and bet away. I just picked up the stupid book yesterday and I’m halfway through the damn thing. It’s written quite well, but the nature of the story itself is what makes it so interesting. Cop it. It’s good. Bill Simmons is quoted on the back of it saying “This book made me want to gamble” or something. That’s silly though. Not everyone is smart enough to count cards like these kids. These are M.I.T. geniuses, not some slouches who got B+s in college calculus like you and me.

- Shoe Whore: The fuck is wrong with me? I’m spending money I don’t have on shoes, shoes, and shoes these days. I scooped up these silly New Balance jawns in the big city the other day, and a week ago my brother (thanks!) copped me these Air Talarias. But gosh darn it, nothing makes me feel like a new man like a new pair of shoes… except for maybe new records. Jorge Ben is killin’ me right now.

- DJ Shadow Book: I like DJ Shadow as much as the next guy, but what the fuck? People are writing books about him? In the now immortal words of one Ricky Watters: “For what? For who?” “Endtroducing” is certainly a great “instrumental hip-hop” album, but how relevant is “instrumental hip-hop” that we need a fucking book about it? “Endtroducing” will probably go down in history as the greatest instrumental hip-hop album ever, but that doesn’t mean it’s all that important in the grand scheme of the hip-hop narrative. Truth be told, DJ Shadow hasn’t made any real lasting or important contribution to this thing we know as hip-hop. He did help usher in a whole slew of beat digging fanatics (for better or for worse), but I can’t think of any really significant impact DJ Shadow has had on the culture as a whole. He made a cute little niche market project that filled a void, he’s proven himself to be a more than solid DJ, and he’s certainly made some pretty cool beats, but at the end of the day, I don’t think DJ Shadow should be given much more than a footnote in the history of hip-hop music(s). My initial thought is something folks have been saying about Shadow for years—he’s so popular because he’s white and I don’t think it’s really all that unfair to suggest that. But, perhaps it’s slightly more nuanced than that. As my dude faux_rillz has said about other hip-hop artsits in a different context, DJ Shadow makes “rap music for people who don’t like rap music.” Perhaps that too over-simplifies the situation, but I think it’s an interesting thing to think about. But, I will sum up by saying I can think of ten black producers who have had much more of a significant impact than DJ Shadow in the last decade alone. Furthermore, I can think of two white producers (Rick Ruben and Paul C) who deserve to have books written about them way before Mr. Davis (no disrespect). Whatever. Maybe I’m just hating. Rumor has it that he’s producing for this fella soon. What ever happened to the Banner/diplo collab?

- Bill Maher is a DAWB (Down Ass White Boy): I’m still shocked by the fact that Bill Maher was (is?) dating “super head” (God what a hilariously pejorative nickname), but now he’s chilling with Kid? No, not Jason Kidd… Kid from Kid ‘N Play.

- Earl: I saw that show “Earl” or “My Name is Earl” or “Hi I’m Earl” or whatever the fuck the other night. I thought it was pretty funny, but that’s just because I have an asexual crush on Jason Lee. Dude is the truth. For those not “in the know,” this bearded beauty first made a name for himself on a skateboard… specifically doing extremely stylish 360 flips. Dude even had a pro-model shoe on Airwalk. Anyway, I’ve mostly been a fan of dude because I was a skate nerd and it was cool watching this skateboarder become famous and play really dope roles in movies I genuinely liked (specifically Mall Rats and Chasing Amy). I can’t believe they have Video Days listed at IMDB.com. Hah.

- Go Phils!: Bam!

-e

Go Read a Book.

2005-09-19T10:04:00.000-07:00

Where my dogs at?

- Marathon Grizzill and Menace II Sobriety: The DJ situation this weekend was hectic. I was originally supposed to cover for my dude while one of my dude’s (Bo Bliz) and my dudette (Lady Jae) held down the Blue Horseshoe with our new monthly called “Menace II Sobriety” (best name ever and wait ‘till you see the flier) but that got all fucked up when still another dude hollered at me and asked me to cover for him at the Marathon Grill. So I found someone to cover for my original covering (and that didn’t turn out so well) while Bo and I held down Marathon. Long story short: Bo and I killed it and it was mad fun (thanks, lowbudget!) and next month Menace II Sobriety is gonna jump off huge like. Don’t forget ‘bout that there White T’s and White Belts shiz that we got poppin’ at Ulana’s the first Friday of October (the 7th). Flier coming soon. We about to put Philly on full-time smash. And what!

- Wayne Waxin’ ‘Bout Wax: Do yourself a favor and visit wayne’s blog urryday before you come here because I’m probably just going to link something from his blog on my blog anyway and he’s constantly coming with the most readable, intelligent, and interesting shit on his shit. Dude makes the rest of us amateurs look like the amateurs we know that we are.

- DJ Shadow Madness: Messageboards are going nuts for this new DJ Shadow mix. Get it here or here or here. It’s got the Cosmo Baker stamp of approval and I think it’s pretty cool but certainly not the life-changing mix of music I was unwittingly convinced into expecting. Oh well. Some ~~white~~ dude decided it’d be a good idea to adapt a few DJ Shadow tracks for a live performance by some high-school percussion quintet. The results are cute: this andthis.

- Birds vs Birds: To my great delight this weekend, my beloved Seahawks (who I had given up on until yesterday’s game) beat the perpetually (i.e. last two years) overrated Atlanta Falcons because Michael Vick CAN NOT PASS FROM THE POCKET. I don’t care how much dude can run and how insanely athletic he is, if you’re the only player on the field that has the authority to throw the ball forward, you had better be marginally better than average at it if you expect to do big thangs (i.e. win the ‘chip). I’m not a part of the Vick bandwagon at all. I respect dude’s athleticism immensely (especially given his physical ailments), but at some point, you gotta be able to make that 10 to 15 yard pass with a certain degree of accuracy. Frankly, I don’t care if he was cramping up either. Pulling him on the final play of the game (that 4th and 14) was the most blatant vote of NON-confidence in Vick’s passing game that I’ve ever seen. He’s your fucking franchise player for fuck’s sake! Byron Leftwich was gunning like a warrior at the end of the Colts game getting absolutely HAMMERED every play. Don’t tell me Vick couldn’t take one more snap… especially since he walked off the field so easily. Eff him.

- Shawn Carter has become a common alias of criminals: This is a sad story that’s marginally funny because of the simple fact that “Shawn Carter has become a common alias of criminals, according to the Pennsylvania Department of Corrections.” Fuck the police. Dude told cops his name was "Shawn Carter" and they put him in jail because some dude named Shawn Carter was wanted for a bunch o' shit: Peep this garbage:

Any of these known facts could have sprung Johnson: He was in jail at the time of Carter's arrest. Johnson's sister and sister-in-law are Hill Correctional Facility employees. Officials ignored their pleas that Johnson was not Carter. Carter had a dragon tattoo, which was described in the arrest warrant. Johnson did not. Authorities never compared the two men's fingerprints. Officials had photographs of both men. Carter is 3 inches taller than Johnson.

- Hurricane Crisis Benefit: David Banner and friends up in the New York Times. The bol Kalefeh has really been holding it down over there. Kudos.

-e

...That's me but I'm not celebrity stricken...

2005-09-15T06:51:00.000-07:00

- DJing This Weekend!!: So, I’m DJing at my weekly Crossfaded Thursdays with Bo Bliz at Filo’s tonight. It’ll be the first time we’re back in the building together for what seems like a long time but it’s only been a few weeks (we’ve been holding down the duties solo back and forth for the last several weeks). But, anyway, we’re ready to do it real big tonight. Got some new shit for that ass and we fixing to rock the fuck outta that little place. Come holler at your peoples. Also, Bo and I are now DJing EVERY THIRD FRIDAY OF THE MONTH at The Blue Horseshoe (Center city: 10 South 20th Street) starting THIS Friday with our homegirl Jenna (I believe her DJ name is Lady J). I think we’re gonna call the party Menace II Sobriety and it’s fixing to be a lot of classic hip-hop, r&b, and dancehall mixed with today’s jammy jam’s. Anyway, come see us DJ. We will kill you… in a good way.

- Iverson: Allen Iverson is the only god damn person I want on my basketball team ever. Read this. Dude is the shit and is fixing to lead the league in assists this year. Holler!

- Tip of the Iceberg: You know the expression “That’s just the tip of the iceberg”? Here’s a dope visual representation of it. I know nobody’s really stupid enough to absolutely need a visual representation of it, but I just thought it was a cool picture and didn’t really know how else to introduce it (i.e. shut up, let me live, and get off my dick).

- A Sad Day in Blog Land: I meant to post about this a couple days ago when it was still existing, but the wonderful blog Poetry Society of America has decided to call it quits. Sad, sad, sad news. Dude was a great writer and was a lot more stylish with his blog-hand then most of us. I’d venture to say that most of us just use this shit as some “look at me, I’m kinda smart and have somewhat interesting things to say about the world” type of tool to garner attention ~~because we don’t get enough in real life and this makes us feel really inadequate and we need people to read this dumb shit and somehow help us approve of ourselves~~, but dude seemed like he was more concerned with just writing for the fuck of it, and doing it really well. I reckon he’ll be back soon enough, but I am mourning his loss. R.I.P. fairest one.

- Books: I finished Mind Wide Open: Your Brain and the Neuroscience of Everyday Life. Its subtitle explains it pretty precisely. I thought it was pretty good. I skimmed the last chapter because it was all about Freud and other random shit that I wasn’t too interested in. This isn’t the most flattering description of the book, but it’s basically an easy-to-read neuroscience textbook that skips around and describes random neuroscience blips that the author found interesting. Really, despite my horrible description of the book, it’s worth a read. I’ve gotten a bit better understanding about why I do certain things that I do and why I obsess about certain things that I obsess about. The greatest achievement of the book is Johnson’s ability to turn all that neuroscience jargon into interesting prose that develops along a fairly interesting personal narrative trajectory. There’s some genuinely funny moments, too. I’m considering deleting this little book review because it’s fucking stupid and pointless, but so’s this entire fucking blog so if I delete this paragraph, I might as well take the Poetry Society of America road and delete this whole fucking thing so I’m going to leave this fucking paragraph up. Anyway, I just started Stephen Talty’s Mulatto America--a “social history” of cultural and biological miscegenation. I have a feeling I’m not going to like this book. I’ll get back to you. Next on my list is Zadie Smith's new one (thanks to faux_rillz for the heads up).

- Your Summer Was Better Than Mine: Caps and Jones summer pics. Their summer was better than mine.

- When the Storm is Forgotten: New Saul Williams poem about Katrina.

-e

If you ain't about the ghetto, than fuck U2

2005-09-12T07:02:00.000-07:00

- Capitalism’s Desire to “Get Rid of the Poor”: You absolutely must read this somewhat obvious yet strikingly-insightful-through-its-
obviousness piece over on k-punk about “the desire to 'get rid of the poor'…a garbled utopian impulse which exposes one of capitalism's fundamental fantasies.” Go read it. It’s short. So much realness in less than 100 words.

- The Constant Gardener: I saw “The Constant Gardener” (by Fernando Meirelles, the director of “City of God”) with my girlfriend this weekend and I loved it (summary). It’s a pretty conventional thriller dressed-up with some stylish visuals and a touching, heart-breaking backdrop attempting to expose the amoral nature of pharmaceutical companies in particular and, by extension, capitalism in general (notice I said “amoral” and not “immoral”). Perhaps I was only so touched by the movie because the recent events of Katrina have put me in a hyper-sensitive emotional state, but whatever the case, after I left the movie, I found myself feeling especially guilty about my inevitable complicity in our capitalist system. Of course, guilt isn’t a terribly productive emotional state, but I haven’t seen a movie in recent memory that drives home the point more sincerely and effectively that poverty is a systematic problem that we are all, to a very large degree, responsible for. This isn’t just a movie about drug companies using Africans as guinea-pigs because they’re expendable. This is also a movie about us—our reliance on poverty, how we contribute to it, and how we benefit from it. Of course, the movie isn’t terribly good at suggesting “what can and/or should be done,” but—as my man Rocco Chappelle suggested recently here--perhaps movies aren’t capable of being as precisely didactic as some of us expect them to be. Whatever the case, I thought the movie was great and it’s definitely worth a gander.

- Fuck a Fucking Cop: If you feel like hating cops more than you already ~~should~~ do, watch this. Fuck a cop.

- Mind Wide Open: I’m currently reading Steven Johnson’s Mind Wide Open: Your Brain and the Neuroscience of Everyday Life. It’s got some really interesting little tidbits especially the chapter about laughing. The basic argument is that laughing isn’t so much a reaction to something humorous as it is an instinctive social ritual (i.e. laughing isn’t “learned” but is actually programmed into us as a way for us to form social bonds). Did you know you’re 30 times less likely to laugh at something when you’re by yourself?

- Odd Behavior and its Relationship to “Creativity”: We all suspected this anyway, right:

New research on individuals with schizotypal personalities – people characterized by odd behavior and language but who are not psychotic or schizophrenic – offers the first neurological evidence that they are more creative than either normal or fully schizophrenic individuals, and rely more heavily on the right sides of their brains than the general population to access their creativity

- Victims vs Refugees: It’s worth asking: if this shit happened to primarily white folks if they’d be calling them “refugees”? Perhaps… but also, perhaps not.

-e

I still heart NOLA

2005-09-09T10:14:00.000-07:00

- Enough Storm Stuff: Alright, I’m done talking about Hurricane Katrina and our country’s incredibly slow and disastrously slow response. Every other blog in the world is talking about it, and doing so in a much more interesting and insightful way. I’m mostly just bitching and (as my jawn pointed out) saying “fuck” a lot. So, enough. But, before that, peep this. How convenient!

- Tax Evasion: I’m sure you heard back in January about dude from Survivor who was on trial for tax evasion after winning 1 million dollars on the show. Well, he was indicted and he might serve up to 75 years in prison. Hah! That’s funny.

- Racial Profiling: More US Fascism: anybody that provides any proof that Racial Profiling exists will be silenced (i.e. fired)

- Mr. Babylon is Back: Everyone’s favorite teacher-blogger Mr. Babylon is back again with more tales from Shitty Highschool in the Bronx. Dyippp-seeettt! Read about him in the New York Sun. The boy is big time now. In other blog news, KC A Jew has posted a hilarious story about DJing with Beanie Sigel in attendance.

- BLAH!: Stupid game that I can’t stop playing.

-e

I heart NOLA

2005-09-08T09:38:00.000-07:00

- More Funk: My auctions sold for $70 and $200 respectively, so I’m happy to say I helped contribute $270 to the soulstrut cause so far. I’m also way over-bidding on a record right now. The auctioning is still poppin’ off so go holler at some records before it’s too late. And, here’s some more record auctions for a good cause; this time the money goes directly to NO artists hurt by the storm. T’is the season to be giving.

- Freedom of Press, my ass: Dude, this country is looking more and more like a fascist state. Sheesh.

- Emotional Outbursts: So, Kanye had his emotional outburst, so did Nagin, so did a couple of newscasters and random NO officials, and I see a lot of people passing these folks off as being “overly-emotional” or something--as if crying because thousands of people are needlessly dead somehow qualifies you as having a chemical imbalance. Frankly, as far as I’m concerned, if you’re not crying about this shit, then you’re the one with the emotional problems. Peep this video of Stephon Marbury bawling his eyes out. Dude is donating between $500,000 and $1 million to the cause. Don’t even try and say “Well, he’s rich.” That’s something like 15% to 20% of his yearly income. So, if you make $50,000 a year, then go ahead and donate between $5,000 and $10,000 of that. Dude is really real. And, don’t forget to watch the Hurricane Relief Basketball Game on Sunday. Why the heck is Derrick Coleman playing in that shit, though?

- Rebuilding New Orleans: Via k-punk, Some scary thoughts about re-building NO:

It's a terrifying notion to think about, but we must: the poor of New Orleans may have been deliberately dispossessed (and demonized as "looters") in order to make way for the rebuilding of New Orleans on the sterilized theme park terms of the rich. Goodbye Robert Johnson, hello Robert Johnson Hotel and Casino Resort Complex.

- Hunter S. Thompson: Rolling Stone fixin’ to publish Thompson’s suicide note. It appears to be touchingly stark and, like any suicide note I suppose, rather bleak:

No More Games. No More Bombs. No More Walking. No More Fun. No More Swimming. 67. That is 17 years past 50. 17 more than I needed or wanted. Boring. I am always bitchy. No Fun — for anybody. 67. You are getting Greedy. Act your old age. Relax — This won't hurt.

- Noah Baumbach’s Back: The Squid and the Whale looks fucking awesome. Written and directed by Noah Baumbach (writer/director of the brilliant Kicking and Screaming and Mr. Jealousy), produced by Wes Anderson. Go see this when it driddops October 5th.

-e

George BushMost of America Doesn't Care About Black People

2005-09-06T09:49:00.000-07:00

- George Bush Doesn’t Care About Black People: Kanye West for President! In other Kanye news, read this hilarious review of his album from the always-reliable Fox News. The album is clearly the reviewers first encounter with rap music. One wonders where Mr. Roger Friedman has been for the last twenty years.

- FUCK BUSH: To anybody who thinks that the NOLA shit was inevitable and that our administration is trying its hardest to help things, go here and here if you really and truly want to be pissed off and hurt. FUCK THIS FUCKING COUNTRY. I am so fucking disappointed in our incompetent mother-fucking bullshit pieces of shit “leaders.” Fuck them so fucking much in their fucking ass. Fuck you, George Bush. Fuck you, Michael Brown. We should really be allowed to beat up government officials if they don’t do their jobs… or at least vote them “off the island” like a reality show. Fuck. This shit is so fucking infuriating. Oh, and read everything here, too.

- Success!: Thanks to everyone who came to White T’s and White Belts on Friday. Your contributions were much appreciated and we made some good money for the folks suffering down in N’awlins. Don’t forget about my charity auctions on soulstrut. I’ve got two records up and all of the money is going to the hurricane victims: a sealed Little Boy Blues “In the Woodland of Weir” LP (currently going for $70), and a VG Black Merda S/T LP (currently going for $200). Get your cop on!

- Don’t Throw Things at AI: Justice at last to the “fan” who threw a quarter and hit AI in the head (good aim, by the way).

- Content vs Form: Steven Shaviro has some interesting thoughts about the marked difference between the terrible imagery of Hurricane Katrina and the dead-pan style of reporting we find on our news shows.

This shit is all so fucking sad.

-e

PULL UP THE PEOPLE!

2005-09-02T06:04:00.000-07:00

White T’s and White Belts: Hurricane Katrina Benefit!

So White T’s and White Belts isn’t so much a party anymore… it’s officially BENEFIT. Like I said yesterday, any money we make at this shit is going to be given to a non-profit that will help all our peoples down in NOLA and Mississippi and anywhere else affected by that ho ass villain Hurricane Katrina. So, if you get a moment, please stop by TONIGHT and pay the $3 cover charge and donate anything more that you can. Shit is so fucked up down there and I really don’t know what else to say besides that.

Please come. It’s for a good cause and I guarantee it’ll be a good ass time.

If you can’t make it to the party, then I suggest you swing over to the Soulstrut messageboard where the community there has been nice enough to start the "Let a Heatrock Loose Benefit": members put up auctions of some rare records that will likely go for some big money and all of the proceeds will be going to the Hurricane fund they’ve got going over there. Shit is beautiful. You get a hot record and you get to help out your fellow man. Some dudes are bidding as much as $500 on records, but there's some gems for fairly cheap, too.

EDIT: I had to get in on the action and I put up a couple records myself: Black Merda's self titled on Chess, and Little Boy Blues's "In the Woodlands of Wier" with the Just Blaze/Jay-Z "PSA" sample. Remember, none of the profits go to the sellers. Every single cent spent on these auctions goes to the folks that need it. Get your paypal on!

-e

Get down, girl, go 'head, get down.

2005-09-01T06:16:00.000-07:00

THE WEEKEND BEFORE LABOR DAY

IT'S YOUR LAST CHANCE TO WEAR WHITE!

- It’s Coming!: White T’s and White Belts is back in its last “White T” formation. After Labor Day, the party becomes “Black T’s and White Belts” (because we all know it’s a fashion faux-pass to wear white after Labor Day). Anyway, I don’t have to stress how fun this party will be. Like 50 of my friends have already confirmed coming and I’ve got some silly hot shit to drop on you nerds that will make you dance the pain away. I’m planning on donating ~~a good portion of the cash~~ ALL OF THE MONEY I MAKE AT THIS SHIT to the Hurricane shit too, so the more money I make, the more I’ll be able to donate (simple mathematics). It’s only $3 and we’re finna kill you. Seriously. So, please come... even if I hate you. It'll be fun and it's for a good cause. My peoples in NOLA and around the south, hold on.

- First Fridays and Saturdays: Go see my man Ryan’s wonderful paintings at the Media Bureau on 4th and Brown tomorrow (Friday) evening. His paintings are super-duper fly and he’s a really good dude. Shit is free and starts around 7 or 8 or something and goes until like 11 or 12 or something. I know that’s not that much information but uh, go there around 9, then come down to White T’s and White Belts around 10 or 10:30. Then, on Saturday, go check out the homie Heather Rae Morton and Jason Scott Musson’s art at the Padlock Gallery on 1409 Ellsworth around 8. The PR blurb about this shit is this:

Drawings by the illustrious Heather Rae Morton and Jayson Scott "short, shorts" Musson. This shit will be like Chex, Kid approved but parents love it too... is that the Chex Motto? I dunno, fuck it. If you don’t like art but you like dogs, you should go anyway because Heather will probably bring her cute little miracle named “Lady” and she’s the cutest little motherfucking thing you’ve ever seen. But yeah. Go. I know some talented people. I know some nice people. Help me support them.

- Diplo: Chris (Lemon Red) with a great story on diplo and the IM convo that informed the story. He’s also posted Caps and Jones monthly mix. Shit is fiiiya. Emynd and Bo Bliz monthly mix is in the works. Watch out now!

- Riddim Method: New blog worth checking out.

-e

We was just practicin'...

2005-08-30T06:31:00.000-07:00

- This Tweekend: Super fun weekend up at The Rub in Toronto. Me, my dude Bo, and my dudettes jerseyfresh and trigger hollered at some above-the-border action and got super faded on Friday night while being assaulted with lovely music provided by these dudes. Shit was an insanely good time. My man Bo knows how to get it in. Click here for the pictures (I look all fucked up in these pictures for some reason—like I’ve got a lazy eye or some shit) or just click here, here, and here to see my boy visibily-drunk-Bliz actin’ a fool and taking Petey Pablo literally when he said “Take your shirt off and spin it around your head like a helicopter.”

- Paul Shirley: My brother put me up on this dude Paul Shirley who has a blog on the Phoenix Suns webpage. He’s been a player in the NBA for something like 4 years and has played for 11 teams. Jesus. Anyway, his blog is pretty funny; chockfull of sarcasm and self-deprecation. Dude is killing it here, here, and here.

- Scott Matelic vs Radiohead: My producer-extraordinaire dude (and soon-to-be-roommate) Scott Matelic has a remix of Radiohead’s “I Will” on Coke Machine Glow for download. Like everything Scott does, it’s great: calculated, somewhat brooding and melancholy, powerful with it’s understated simplicity. Scott also doesn’t push the issue and force the song to be some epic that it’s not (he lets it clock in at under 3 minutes). Great stuff. Direct link here.

- Hov in the NYT: Linking stuff like this seems kinda useless because you probably already know about it, but uh, here it is anyway: somebody talking about Hov in the NYT.

- Fuck You Hurricane Katrina: If Hurricane Katrina did this to the Superdome, I can only imagine what it did to Magnolia housing projects and the like. Fuck.

- Mo’ ‘Ye: Pitchfork liked the Kanye record a whole lot, Rollie didn’t, having the gall to call a review “unacceptable.” The fuck? Anyway, I’m way more on Pitchfork’s side than Rollie’s (even though the Pitchfork review isn’t far from giving all of the credit to Jon Brion). Rollie’s criticism is this:

kanye talks about smoking weed and getting head like any other commercial rapper but because he balances it with half-hearted talk about conflict diamonds and poorly constructed metaphors and those rhymes that don't actually rhyme (ie: that whole song 'celebration': "why you actin' all shy and all?/ why is y'all lyin' for?/...right now i need you to mute all the monologue/ all that talkin' is gone give me a tylenol"), he's the rapper du jour. this guy is fucking shitty at rapping and his beats are, for the most part, relatively uninspired. it doesn't take a fucking producer to hear that even if 'drive slow' is one of the only good songs, the chop is totally off and the sample was flipped 300 times better on 2pac's 'shorty wanna be a thug'.

Well, well, well, Mr. Big Shot, that’s just like, your opinion, man! To put it simply: Kanye does not just talk about “smoking weed and getting head like any other commercial rapper,” he does it in a much more candid and hilarious manner. When he’s bragging about these things, it’s completely different than someone like Fat Joe bragging about these things precisely because of the character that we know Kanye to be: an insecure goofball, rap nerd who doesn’t find it necessary to subscribe to the “I’m a conscious rapper” vs “I’m a gangsta rapper” dichotomy; who loves music at least as much as he loves himself; and who isn’t afraid to be cheesy and take some risks. In my humble opinion, it works spectacularly well on this album. By the way, I’m a producer and I think “Drive Slow” is perfectly produced. But, again, Rollie is a man who loves Necro and thinks “Santana’s Town” is the worst song of 2004. So, hey, I'm just bound to disagree with this guy, I think.

- Shaviro + BEE + Abel: Steven Shaviro speaks about Bret Easton Ellis’s new book Lunar Park right here and briefly here. An old professor of mine (probably the best teacher I ever had), Mr. Marco Abel posits some thoughts about the negative reviews that BEE almost always gets right here. Suffice it to say that I really wanna read this book now. If you haven’t read American Psycho, do so immediately.

- Speaking of Books: Did I mention that I recently finished Franklin Foer’s How Soccer Explains the World: An Unlikely Theory of Globalization? It’s pretty cute. It takes specific soccer stories (often rivalries or depictions of the fanatical fans) as a microcosm that represents larger problems in the world. It’s certainly interesting to read some of the histories of certain teams and how it relates and/or parallels the politics of the country, but one gets the feeling that Mr. Foer is greatly over-simplifying for effect. I’m not a historian so I’ll spare you the specifics but suffice it to say that I find the ease with which Mr. Foer links soccer and a country’s larger political and/or economic problems to be a bit too smooth. I don’t doubt that there is a certain “political unconscious” embodied in the game of soccer that necessarily reflects the reality of any given situation, but I feel like Foer overstates the parallels without allowing for the contradictions to have any real space. Likewise, the conservative in Mr. Foer seems to get the better of him at times: he is so pro-globalization and pro-nationalism that, more often than not, he finds himself excusing the negative aspects of these concepts in a rather silly manner (saying things like, “Well, if it weren’t for globalization, I probably wouldn’t ever have been exposed to international soccer and grown to love it. So, globalization can’t be all bad!”). It is however a fun read and it is well-researched and equally well-written. Just don’t take it too seriously. I’m currently readingLife on the Outside: The Prison Odyssey of Elaine Bartlett by Jennifer Gonnerman. All I can say about it right now is this: Fuck the Rockefeller drug laws.

- Last But Not Least: Oh shit. Another White Ts and White Belts is ready for lift-off this weekend. This time it’s on Friday. So, go to First Fridays, look at some art, then drink away your pain with us. We will, we will, rock you… rock you. Seriously. I’ve got some bangers up my sleave. Shit’s gonna be stupid hot.

-e

Come on homie we major.

2005-08-22T05:49:00.000-07:00

- Holy Moly: Holy cow ~~Hollertronix~~Voilatronix was fun. I danced like a drunken middle eastern boy… probably because I was an extremely drunken half-middle eastern boy, but whatever. Shit was so fun, though. Spankrock’s one-song set was so necessary. The skipping Serato during Spank’s set was not necessary, but I think I was the only one that noticed. He killed it. Lowbudget killed it. The B-more dudes killed it, too. I killed it the most by dancing with almost every girl I’ve ever known in Philly. Fun times.

- Recent Keyword Activity: So, this is how someone found my site: by googling “What does dipset mean ebonics.” Awesome.

- RIP Bob Moog: Genuine RIP wishes go out to Mr. Bob Moog.

- Late Registration: Don’t Believe the Hate: Quite a few people are hating on Kanye’s new record and it’s pretty annoying. Sure, he’s probably not a dude you’d really want to hang out with, but this record is pretty fucking flawless as far as I’m concerned. But, beyond the mindless hate (can you believe that there are seriously people who want to criticize Kanye’s newly expressed pro-homo stance?!) you’ll find extremely interesting readings like the dude noz’s criticism who says the following about the record on a messagaeboard:

i think it's just too overwhelming. in production and in content he just tries to do too much and loses me. i found myself feeling like "ok... when is he going to start rapping again?" way too much….i honestly believe that the best hip hop productions are exercises in minimalism, because they allow they allow a good rapper to take charge of the track. and (perhaps to to compensate for his failures as a rapper?) kanye strives for the opposite. he has some potential as a writer and has improved in the flow department, but you have to listen really hard to notice. he needs to give himself room to breathe. the complexity of his drum programming also comes into play here….i think kanye's process (and andre, mos def, and whatever "post rap" stars) is flawed in assuming that a great hip hop record is one that also subscribes to the traditional goals of musicality. sure, there are overlaps (organized noize comes to mind), but suceeding on one front doesn't automatically go hand and hand with the other.

Frankly, I love noz’s reading of the record. It’s extremely well-thought out, energetic, articulate, and completely understandable. Yet and still, I disagree with it pretty strongly. Certainly, you get the feeling that Kanye wanted the album to be sonically “overwhelming”—almost every track is extremely full with instrumentation, percussion, or dramatic/anthematic crooning, but to me, it works. It is quite apparent to me that Kanye wanted to prove himself to be a “musician” with this album with intense tracks like “Major” and “Gone” which are anything but “exercises in minimalism.” “Major” pounds with a crowded fury of horns that plunge in and out while the hard stability of the percussion in “Gone” are juxtaposed with the impatient, ever-changing string of loops that weave through the song. So, while I can certainly understand noz’s reading here (and furthermore, I have a great deal of respect for this reading), I just can’t find myself to agree that the music is somehow unsuccessful. Surely, I’d be annoyed if this album inspired rap to suddenly start “subscribing to the traditional goals of musicality,” but (a) I really don’t see that happening and (b) as a rap album that attempts to “subscribe to the traditional goals of musicality” (which are, for the most part, typically rock&roll goals), I’d say that this album is very successful in reaching these goals in a lurid and passionate way. I will concede that this album seems to feel more “important” than it probably is (and perhaps should be), but I think the album is great.

- Knives and Slaps and Basketball: Even if you don’t like basketball and don’t know who David Harrison is (frankly, I don’t), go read this.

-e

I got my mom still thinkin' her boy good...

2005-08-18T06:18:00.000-07:00

How's the new look?

- Partaaaaaaaaay!: Come to Filo’s tonight and watch me DJ. My boys from Cali are fixing to be in town and we’re gonna be getting it in all weekend. It’s not obnoxiously hot out, Filo’s has got some cheap beers for that ass, and I’m gonna be rocking that gutter hip-hop, dancehall, r&b shit until you fall-out and holler at a drunk person’s private parts. Basically you have no excuse to not come holler at me. So, do yourself a favor and do the damn thing. Shit’ll be fun. 408 South 2nd Street. Just north of South Street. Come holler.

- Hah!: Dancing on graves is really underrated... especially if a Satanist is doing the dancing.

- Beastiality Gone Wrong: Turns out beastiality isn’t the safe, healthy alternative to normal, human sex that we all thought it was. Fuck. Every time we reach out to nature and try to remove ourselves from ourselves (sort’ve de-anthropomorphize the world), we get royally screwed (figuratively speaking, of course). The real question is: where do we go from here? Actually, the real REAL question is: how the fuck do you get a horse to fuck you in the ass? It’s hard enough to get a drunk girl to go home with you. Drunk girls at least speak human and can be convinced and/or drugged. But, a fucking horse? Isn’t riding a horse sometimes hard? I mean, don’t they buck and wil’ out and shit? It’s gotta be easier to ride a horse than to get one to ride you, right? Shit. I don’t know whether to be impressed at this dude’s multi-faceted game or disgusted by his ability to neigh his way into intercourse with a fucking HORSE.

- Thank God for Digital Cameras: If you get bored and have a digital camera, I suggest you put some stuff on your cat. It’s weird but (apparently) very necessary.

- Keyshia Cole: Keyshia Cole’s album “The Way It Is” bangs. Don’t believe me? David agrees.

- Capo!: MTV is streaming Jim Jones’ new album here. Peep.

- Real World: Forgot to link the Real World re-cap the other day. I’m so happy I don’t have to watch this stupid show anymore.

-e

Shut up.

2005-08-11T13:30:00.000-07:00

- Where’s the Logic?: Ok, peep this portion from the pitchfork review of Buckshot and 9th Wonder’s new album called “Chemistry”:

Albums like Chemistry are written off by a lot of people who don't get down with its retro leanings-- and it certainly doesn't help that 9th Wonder is only a serviceable replacement for those with whom he's compared. His sample selection is tasteful, but someone needs to buy my man some drums. It's a simple question of technique. His predecessors-- Pete Rock, Primo, Large Professor via Paul C (Google "Dave Tompkins Paul C"), and even Boot Camp's own Da Beatminerz--all chopped sampled drums, and the results were full, thick slabs of marbled beats. 9th programs his own, and they are hollow and processed. But, that's how it goes when a snare can be traced and tapped for royalty payments.

What the fuck is this guy talking about? Now, I don’t particularly like 9th Wonder’s drums. In fact, I too think they suck (though I haven’t heard the album in question). But, does this guy really think that (a) 9th isn’t sampling drums and re-programming them the same way Primo and the Beatminerz did and (b) that 9th is choosing to do drums like this because it’s strictly an issue of sample-clearance? Dude, come on! First of all, why the fuck would 9th be worried about the sound of a snare drum but isn’t worried about sampling old soul songs? That just makes no sense what so ever… especially considering that US copyright law only protects melody (I think there are some exceptions to this where if you rock a really identifiable break like “Funky Drummer” you’d have to clear it, but you certainly don’t have to clear random snare hits!) Second of all, I don’t think 9th is sitting in his room constructing snares from scratch on some weird little computer program--I’m quite sure he samples drums just like the rest of us. So, it’s not a matter of 9th either (a) not sampling drums or (b) choosing not to sample drums because of sample clearance issues. It’s just a matter of 9th having a shitty ear for drums (much like Ant). I know this really isn’t that big of a deal and I’m kind of nit-picking this poor guy’s review, but what the fuck?

- Silver Jews: Might as well shout-out something good on pitchfork since I do rather like the place even though it’s really popular to hate it. This Silver Jews interview is quite good. David Berman rules me. I’ve only got American Water but it kicks my butt and I fucking love this record front to back… even the silly instrumental jams.

- Frappuccinos are Big Macs in a Plastic Cup: Jesus fucking Christ. I had one of these at lunch today and it annihilated me. Perhaps that’s because it has more calories than a mother fucking Big Mac. Got damn. The girl I’m seeing (hi!) advised me that there like 600 calories in that bitch but I thought she was exaggerating.

- NERD ALERT: The Skeleton Key: I had no interest in watching this shitty movie (“Wholly devoid of suspense or chills, The Skeleton Key simply bides its time until its big final plot twist, but the filmmakers don't seem to realize that a second-rate twist can't redeem a third-rate fright flick”) until I read this (“I think [The Skeleton Key] provides an answer to the question Steven Shaviro posed a while back in an excellent post on commodity fetishism.”) I probably still won’t watch it because horror movies scare me and I’d imagine K-punk’s reading of the movie is way more interesting than the movie itself but whatever. If you like horror movies and have something to say about commodity fetishism, go watch that shit and holler at me.

- Fuck Saigon: My homeboy Trapper Juan rather likes Saigon but I tend to think he’s a bit overrated. Perhaps it’s not precise to say he’s overrated because I really don’t know how highly he’s even rated. I do know that he’s the first rapper Just Blaze signed to his label and so perhaps I should rephrase my sentiment and just say this: Just Blaze overrates Saigon. I don’t have any huge problem with Saigon as a rapper. He’s simply unspectacular. Or perhaps that’s still unfair. He’s simply unspectacular when standing next to (i.e. rapping on top of) the spectacular beats by Just Blaze. This still isn’t entirely true because I haven’t heard any tracks that Blaze gave Saigon that are really that remarkable. So, perhaps I should only say that Saigon is unspectacular when compared with the work Just Blaze is capable of. But, fuck it I’m rambling about something I don’t really care about. Whatever the case, and whatever my feelings about the man’s music might be, I think we can all agree that he is no position to be dissing rappers like Jadakiss for not being “authentic,” something he does in this interview. My dude Dame over at Cult-Status has the short version with some commentary that I wholly agree with (Let’s be happy Dame is posting regularly in his own blog instead of posting so many thoughts in other blogs’ comments section).

This whole “reality” non-sense in hip-hop is some of the most over-played non-sense ever. To be sure, rappers can benefit from a certain sense of authenticity. After all, as my man faux_rillz is quick to point out, part of what makes rappers like Young Jeezy so interesting as a rapper is his back-story. It’d be foolish to deny that. But, even still, the value of “authenticity” in rap is greatly overstated by folks like Saigon. Tupac is, to this day, by far one of the most respected rappers in the game and yet you could say everything that Saigon is saying about Jadakiss about Tupac. Does that make Tupac’s music any less effective? Does that mean kids can’t relate to it? Does that mean Tupac can’t notice things about this “thug” life and express them in an interesting, provocative, and important manner? If you’ve never sold drugs, are you absolutely incapable of performing the “reality” of selling drugs?

To answer these questions, we have to be honest about the peformative aspect of hip-hop and accept that, no matter what anybody says, it is always and at all times a performance. It’s become a rap cliché to say “I’m not a rapper, I’m a hustler” or something like that, but the obvious ridiculousness of that statement is embedded in the statement itself. And, that’s what’s so great about the Clipse and other hustlers turned rappers who claim that they “aren’t rappers” and that “rap is just an extension of their hustle.” Of course, people are quick to miss the significant “signifyin(g)” moment in that statement, completely ignoring the fact that that statement necessarily doubles as an authenticating device as well as a braggadocios statement: “I’m so good at rapping that I don’t even consider myself a rapper. It’s not what concerns me. It’s just something I do to make money because that’s all I’m about… but shit, I’m pretty darn good at doing something I’m not concerned with, huh? What, you don’t think so? Well why’re you listening to my shit?” In other words, part of what makes the “performance” so effective is insisting that it’s NOT a “performance,” but it’s silly to take this insistence as much more than a clever and useful rhetorical technique. The “street”/”gangsta”/”real” rappers that are most successful realize this (Jay, Beanie, Jeezy, Jadakiss, Snoop, etc) and use this to their advantage: they perform their characters with an aura of authenticity and that aura almost always outweighs the “reality” of that authenticity.

Saigon’s criticisms of Jada are just plain silly and immature and while it’s not uncommon to hear kids in the hood saying “I like so&so because he’s real,” their enjoyment of him has a lot more to do with the perceived “authenticity” in the performance than it does with the actual “authenticity” in the biography—whether these kids are willing to admit that or not doesn’t even matter because there is evidence enough to know that even these kids who insist that a rapper must be “real” know that, at some level, “realness” ain’t enough: a wack rapper is a wack rapper no matter how many people he’s killed, no matter how many pounds of coke he’s moved, and no matter how many times he’s gone to jail. It’s really all about the “performance of reality” (or perhaps even the fantasy of reality) and I think the best “gangsta” rappers are well aware of this. In other words, shut the fuck up, Saigon.

-e

White T's and White Belts: RETURN OF THE MACKS

2005-08-11T07:16:00.000-07:00

T'is a very simply math equation:

[(Rap Music) + (Not Rap Music)]/(emynd + BoBliz + DanTheSwede) = (Insane Fun + Possible Sex)

Wear a White T if you like Rap. Wear a White Belt if you like not Rap. Wear both if you want to be a fucking dork. Wear neither because you cannot be easily stereotyped. Whatever.

Come to the beautiful Aqua Lounge (between 3rd and 4th on the north side of Girard Ave) and trade us (Dan the Swede, Bo Bliz, and me) $3 for 4 hours of party-time, excellent. That's less than a dollar an hour. There won't be any of this or this but that's a good thing. Instead, there will be a bunch of people having the opposite thought of this because there will be too much dancing. Drinks are cheap and people of loose morals will be there which means you might get laid... if not, your friends might, and it aint no fun unless your homie gets some. Stop being so selfish. Think about your friend for a change. S/he needs some booty just as much as you do. Jesus.

Please come.

Word on the streets is that superstar DJ LOWBUDGET is gonna swing through and drop a super crazy live ninja asssasin terrorist voltron set. Be there to find out if the streets is lyin'! (hint: they ain't).

-e

Rap is more important than buying crap like food...

2005-08-10T06:28:00.000-07:00

- Go DJ: Ok, so, no DJing in NYC this weekend. Turns out we’re doing another White T’s and White Belts party in Philly at the Aqua Lounge (323 W. Girard) this weekend. Definitely come through, you herbs. Don’t be fooled by the “West Girard” address. The Aqua Lounge is between 3rd and 4th on the north side of Girard Avenue. Anyway, Bo Bliz was originally scheduled to replace me (as if replacing me were really possible), but since I’m no longer DJing in NYC, I’ve invited myself to DJ with Bo and the Swede and they’re kind enough to accommodate my bitch ass. Anyway, here’s the flier. It’s fucking awesome. Seriously though, come through. It’s only $3 and will be a good ass time. The Aqua Lounge is a hella nice spot, too. You should also stop by Crossfaded Thursdays at Filo’s tomorrow. Shit will be poppin’ and I just copped a bunch of new reggaeton and shit. Even if you don’t like reggaeton, remember that the girls do. So, if you like girls, you should like reggaeton at least a little bit. Come through.

- Rap and Bull Shit: New R&B shit and new old Saafir shit (Yes, I realize I said “new old”) on the shrimp. Our game’s been tight recently.

- Dead Asian Video Game Player: This dude died from playing video games. Sucks.

- Two Racists Talking: HAHA! Just kidding Aaron. Peep this Buck 65 Interview. It’s quite good.

-e

I'm a Rican Lebanese and I'm eatin....

2005-08-09T06:30:00.000-07:00

- DJing: I’m DJing on the dolo-tip at Filo’s this Thursday for “Crossfaded Thursdays.” Definitely come through and holler at some cheap Rolling Rock bottles and/or cheap Pabst pounders. Shit’s been on swole the past few weeks so come early, enjoy the A/C and chill out with your dude. I’m DJing on some boat in Manhattan this weekend with Low Budget this Saturday. That shit should be hot, too. I will murder you.

- Ryan Beck: My dude Ryan Beck has some art posted on this site. Go peep that shit or just click the links here to peep his paintings. He’s really a talented dude. 1, 2, 3, 4,5,6, and 7.

- Impulse Shoe Buy: So, I bought these yesterday for $40. Hah! They look better in person. That doesn’t mean they match anything, but still, they look better in person. I’ma rock ‘em tonight and see what the jawn I’m seeing has to say about ‘em (hi!). I’m expecting the worst.

- The Rub in T. Dot: Bo Blizzy and I are taking a road trip up to Toronto for “The Rub” party up there. Shit should be bonkers. Holler at us if you see us... especially if Bo is scheming on your jawn.

- Random Rap and R&B Thoughts: ~~Aaron~~ Somebody sent me a zip file of "Late Registration." Well, it’s not "Late Registration" (thanks a lot, ~~Aaron~~ somebody!); it’s just a bunch of old shit that some internet dork that has-to-have-everything-first wants to beleive is "Late Registration." Anyway, it’s reminded me that Kanye is really a great producer and is a super creative dude in general. I’m really hype for "Late Registration." I think I’ma cop this Teairra Mari album, too. The “My Melody” jacking jawn is hot and so is this "No Daddy" jernt. It reminds me of Mashonda’s "Blackout" with Snoop and Swizz Beatz which is equally as hot. The hook on this Mashonda shit is so fire.

-e

Me and my brother came out my mother with heat cocked...

2005-08-08T06:13:00.000-07:00

Whew... what a hectic weekend. I gotta chill on the drinking. Sheesh. Anyway...

- We Use So Many Snares: An epic piece on reggaeton by the dude Wayne over at wayneandwax. This dude’s blog is worth checking all the fucking time. Super smart, hella readable, and always stimulating. Can’t hate on the we eat so many shrimp title-interpolation. Thanks for the referential shout-out!

- On and Off and On: This month’s Philly Hollertronix was on, then it was post-poned, now it’s back on… but it’s diplo-less and full of b-more in its new shape Voilatronix. Get your head bus’d.

- No Limit: Cocaine Blunts is starting his excursion through the No Limit catalog. I ~~slept on~~ hated on a lot of this shit when it came out because I was a uber-underground-nerd. So, I’m looking forward to being put on to some new old shit that I missed the first time.

- Bjork and Will Oldham: Bomarr posted this Bjork and Will Oldham shiz. Go holler at it before he deads the link.

- Spiders: The following is a story I’m quoting from a messageboard. Maybe only people who are deathly afraid of spiders will find this shit funny (me), but this shit had me dying:

one time i was driving to the movies with my friend, and i was pulling up to a red light when i see this HUGE spider walking across my windscreen from her side to mine, when my friend saw it she screamed like someone was murdering her which nearly made me drive straight through the red light. we were both checking our windows to make sure it couldnt get in.. then it crawled up onto the roof, and i was freaking the fuck out coz i didnt know where it had gone.. thats when my friend told me i shouldve put on my windscreen wipers to push it off.. that sucked, im slow.

we were going to the drive-in, so when we got to the booth to buy our tickets i didnt want to open my window for fear of it dropping into the car, so im yelling through a tiny crack in the window to the guy in the booth asking if there's a spider on the roof- there wasnt. so anyway we're watching the movie from out my back windscreen (my cars back seats fold down, so i had blankets and pillows and stuff) and i see this huge hairy spider leg walking down the side of the windshield, and i couldnt tell if it was inside or out.. turned out it was on the outside, so my friend got out to find it, but we never found it. im scared its still living in my god damn car, and one day itll run out on the inside of my windshield while im driving and ill crash into a powerpole or something. id just washed my car that day too, so i probably had patted it on the head or something while it was hiding down near my windshield wipers, GROSS!

-e

I'm tiiiiiiiiiiiired.

2005-08-05T06:01:00.000-07:00

- YAAAAAAAWN: OK, so those of you who don’t know me in person probably don’t know this about me, but I work a 9-5 job on Madison Avenue in NYC (actually it’s 8:30-4:30) Monday through Friday. I also DJ on Thursday nights at a club in Philly called Filo’s. Clubs in Philly close at 2:00. I live in the ‘burbs around 35 minutes away from Philly. So, every Thursday, I DJ until 2:00 AM, wait around until about 2:15 for management to get me my dough, then I whip home and try to be asleep by 3:00 AM so I can wake up at 5:45 AM and head up to NYC for my office job. That, my friends, is grinding… and it’s totally not worth it and I’m totally fucking exhausted every Friday (like right now), but I just wanted to inform you of all this so you will fucking pity me and realize that you are fucking bitches because you get way more sleep than me and I fucking hate you for it. I hate people who get like 6 hours of sleep and bitch and moan and say “Ohhh I need a nap.” Ugh. I just want to fucking sleep right now.

- Larry Brown: I saw Larry Brown on Steven A. Smiths’ show last night. Fuck him. He’s such a smarmy fuck. The thing I hate most about Larry Brown is that… well… that I like him. I have to actually actively HATE on the mother fucker because when I see him in interviews and such, he’s always saying classy shit and being excessively sweet and making complete sense and, quite honestly, he’s pretty got damn convincing with his whole shtick. That’s why I have to ACTIVELY hate on this mother fucker. If I don’t, I might go and be convinced he’s a good, classy dude like the rest of the world seems to believe. But, he’s a fucking fuckhead that’s selfish as fuck and is much more worried about his image as a “good guy” than he is about actually being a good guy. Actions speak louder than words mother fucker and your bullshit-ass posturing will not be tolerated, no matter how convincing it is! He’s still one of the best coaches ever, but fuck him.

- Bansky: Go here. Bansky vs the West Bank. I think Bansky won.

- Trapped in the Closet: If you’re having trouble following R. Kelly’s “Trapped in the Closet” series, never fear! Your savior is here. So dope.

- Jersey: A great post over at the Poetry Society of America. Need proof that it’s great? Peep this: “So I promise myself I will only enter New Jersey again for 4 reasons: Beach, wedding, funeral, greater than but not equal to 38D.” I love this dude’s writing. I do find Jersey-hating to be silly, though.

- Blog-related Depression: Holy shit this is hilarious. Thanks to Dr. Robert for the link.

- Huh?!: The only NBA thing weirder than that Heat trade was Ray Allen’s recent fashion faux-pas. What the hell?

-e

Fuck a job, I'd rather work these blogs...

2005-08-04T06:03:00.000-07:00

- The Cure: An absolutely brilliant piece on The Cure. Even if you don’t like The Cure, this is a great read.

- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy: The complete Deep Thought archives by Jack Handy from SNL. Somebody find the complete “Ambiguously Gay” duo archives for me (and I don’t mean this Ambiguously Gay duo… I keed, I keed).

- Self Referential Aptitude Test: I can’t tell if this is a fake test or not, but it’s pretty damn clever regardless.

- NIN Remix Contest: The only thing really worth saying about this NIN Remix Contest is that on the webpage they say this: “Welcome to what will assuredly become the largest remix event of all time.” Hah. Melodrama at its finest. In semi-related news, I think we can safely say that both the word “remix” and the actual process of remixing are well on their way to being whitewashed. After all, peep the “Wired” cut-and-paste issue. They talk to absolutely no black musicians about “remixing” and, in their huge timeline of “Remix History,” something like 5 of the 80 artists pictured are black. It’s sad. History is being re-written before our eyes and the contributions that black culture has made are being over-looked and shamelessly appropriated.

- Miami Bass: Dope article about Miami Bass.

- WTF: Oliver points out that this is weird. Weird, weird, weird. Serg clears things up in the comments section though. Hah!

- Science is Losing To Religion: Bah! If there is a God, I guarantee he hates his fanatical, idiotic sycophants more than he hates the rest of us. There’s nothing worse than a ~~dick-rider~~ dick-eater (Ed: must update slang).

- Real World: I shouldn’t even have to link this anymore because you should have it bookmarked. Go here for more Real World Austion recap. I’m telling you, it’s better than watching the shit.

-e

It's a new day, and a better day is coming...

2005-08-03T06:14:00.000-07:00

- Clean Slate: For better ~~or for worse~~, I’m starting my 26th year on this earth with a clean slate. This is my year. I’m telling you. Shit’s gwan pop off for me. I’m telling you.

- Nas vs 50: Is this a diss song? I still think “Ether” is the most overrated diss song in the history of rap music. How motherfuckers want to argue that Nas even came close to winning that Jay-Z battle is absolutely ridiculous. I really don’t understand that shit. Anyway, Nas’s biggest flaw as an emcee is he doesn’t know his limits. Dude cannot make a hot party song and dude isn’t really that dope when he’s trying to spit this kind of hard shit. Which isn’t really a bad thing that he can’t do that shit. The bad thing is, he constantly tries to do that shit. Give it up! Just do that street, intellectual thug thing with your moments of brilliant flow and introspective insight and please chill the fuck out on the other shit, dude. Damn. “My raps bring horror like the board of a ouija”? Jesus. You’re embarrassing yourself, dude. Beat’s not bad though.

- Scribble Jam Canceled: I wouldn’t go to ~~another~~ Scribble Jam if my life depended on it. Apparently, this year’s got canceled. Hilarious. This is stupid funny, too.

- Freak bol: Call me a freak bol, but I kinda find the sweaty pics of the Black Eyed Peas jawn hot. I mean, if that’s urine, I ain’t having it, but nothing wrong with a little bit (~~i.e. a whole fucking puddle~~) of sweat.

- Homosexuals: I’ve got no beef with homosexual activity. I do have beef with this though. Hilarious. Every mother fucker in that crowd is wearing black too. Silliness.

- Huh?!: For the love of God, please somebody tell me what the fuck Pat Riley is thinking regarding this monster trade.

- Joe Pa: Any contemporary article about Joe Pa that doesn’t use the word “senile” at least once is simply not credible.

- Aaron's Records: Don't forget to buy hot records.

- AI and Steven Smith: Did we see AI on Steven A. Smith’s show “Quite Frankly” the other day? If not, well, you suck. It was great. WPI described it as “like watching two men going down on each other” but that’s so, so wrong. AI is the dude. Steven A. Smith is the dude. Put the two dudes together and you get AI crying when showed video footage of Larry Brown basically saying that Iverson is the hardest working player he’s ever been around, and, of course, you get quotables like this:

-e

Postmortem

2005-08-02T05:15:00.000-07:00

Blah. My life is silly and stupid. Anyway, enough about me. My boy Aaron is selling a bunch of old-ish hip-hop records. Go buy some and please just leave me alone.

-e

Old Head Status

2005-08-01T08:29:00.000-07:00

- My Friends: Thanks to all my peoples who made it out to Yardley this weekend to make my dumb ass blush. My friends are better than yours. Seriously, I love you all. Thank you. "Old Head" status has officially been acquired.

-e

Get Your Mind Right

2005-07-28T06:17:00.000-07:00

- The Cookbook: An academic’s thoughts on Missy’s “The Cookbook” including a bold comparison to Dylan (Bob Dylan, not “My five favorite rappers are: Dylan, Dylan, Dylan, Dylan, Dylan” Dylan).

- Crash: I’ve heard some good and bad things about the movie “Crash,” but I haven’t seen it yet. Jeff Chang (congratulations on the award for the brilliant “”) and Sylvia Chan sound off about why—contrary to popular opinion—the movie really doesn’t do much to advance the “race conversation” in America. I should probably see this shit.

- Young Jeezy: Young Jeezy is the blogosphere’s new favorite rapper. The bol Dame at Cultstatus has posted like 100 mp3s. Go get ‘em. The rumor mill proclaims that Jeezy and Santana (no guitar) are working on an official album for Def Jam. Jesus. Gangsta, gangsta. By the way, I still think “And Then What” sucks.

- Holy Fuckin’ Awesome: As if I wasn’t hype enough from the potential Jeezy and Juelz audio beat down, I see that Pharrell has signed on to produce music for the Voltron movie soundtrack. That is fucking awesome! Frankly, I didn’t know there was a Voltron movie in the works, but regardless of how shitty it is (and chances are that it will be on the shitty side), if there’s some “On and On” type of Neptune brilliance backing them Voltrons, shit will be off the meter.

- Awesome: Super fresh flier for Caps and Jones’s gig at Milk in SF in September.

- Darko: A larger than normal freedarko post by Shoalsy. Even the comments section of that site are funny and insightful. Dude says: “I gave Steve (Francis) a ball to sign once and he was still reluctant to pass it back.” Haha!

- Chuck Klosterman: I saw Chuck Klosterman talk the other day with my girl and a couple friends. Shit was hot. Dude was really, really funny and read a passage from his new narrative non-fiction book “Killing Yourself to Live” which sounds pretty funny. I would talk about the night except my dude Drew says pretty much what I would’ve said right here. The gist: “pop-culture” is just as important as (if not more so) “high culture.”

-e

"Post-Rap" vs "Post-Colonial-Rap"

2005-07-26T07:02:00.000-07:00

- Chuck K: Chuck K tonight in Philly. Should be fun.

- Trapper Juan: My dude Drew moved his blog from myspace to here. Good job, my friend. Looks way nicer.

- Pimp My Ride UK: Tim Westwood is like a fucking paradoy of himself. Peep this shit. Dude is so awkward and cheeseball. If you let the screen idle too much on that web page, Westwood gets all hype and says “Yo, let’s get busy! Click the mouse, baby, let’s go!” Jesus.

- Eddie Bo Discography: Damn. Hot discography (and probably about as exhaustive as its gonna get) for that illy funkster from N’awlins.

- Fish and Walker: Audrey posted some yucky lookin’ fish things and links to Walker Texas Ranger flicks from Conan O’Brian. I can’t believe there are people in this world who think Jay Leno or David Letterman or any of those late night jack-asses even hold a candle to Conan. Don’t say “The Daily Show” because that doesn’t count. While, I’m here I might as well drop a link to her most recent radio show. So, linkage has been dropped. Here’s the tracklist. Her summary of the Metallica movie ~~epic~~ is fucking hilarious.

- Post-Rap vs Post-Colonial-Rap: My boy Aaron reviewed Buck 65’s record on Coke Machine Glow. I haven’t heard the entire record so I will refrain from commenting on the quality of the music. I will say two things about the new record though: (1), from the two songs I’ve heard, one I rather like, one I think stinks; (2) the best that I could possibly say about this record at this point is that I’m really not interested in hearing it. I’m still really biased against dude and think he’s pretty much a jack-ass. At the very least, he has a problem expressing himself and enjoys putting his foot in his mouth, saying wildly ignorant things about rap music (like “Why is Jay-Z quitting? Why doesn’t he learn to play an instrument or something?” and “I hate hip-hop” etc).

I don’t mean to rehash all the shit that was said about Buck being an ignoramus and an idiot in the wake of those comments. He’s subsequently apologized for those comments and, fuck it, we’ve all said dumb shit before. I’m sure if somebody had a mic on me at a particularly bad time, I’d be saying stupid shit, too... granted, not as stupid as that shit, but his girl-friend is some classical music snob. What the fuck do you expect? Anyway, truth be told, his dumb comments really shouldn’t have too much of an effect on how I view his music, but the only reason I’m bringing this up is because I think it’s germane to something Newell brings up in his review.

Newell wants to define Buck 65’s new music as “post-rap” (a la Simon Reynolds and “post rock”) and to a certain extent, I can understand the desire to re-define music in terms like that (after all, google the term “post-rap,” it’s been used quite often in reviews, especially with respect to Anticon artists). But, I wonder, first of all, is a white journalist really in a position to be defining “rap” in any sense? And, secondly, why is it always white rappers that are getting terms like “post rap” thrown at them? Are there any “post rap” black rappers? Should we consider the “experimental” offerings of folks like Cee-Lo, Common, and Q-Tip “post rap” or that something different? I’m really not trying to call out anyone here, I’m simply wondering if there’s an implied whiteness in the adjective “post-.” Similarly, I’m wondering if there’s an implied sense of REJECTING “black rap” in “post-rap.”

I just think it’s important that we’re careful with these terms and not forget that when we talk about hip-hop, we are necessarily talking about race. Frankly, I think a more apt term would be “post-colonial-rap” (where “post-colonial” isn’t a reference to actual historical colonization, but the potential cultural colonization occurring as we speak). That’s probably the most clever thing I’m going to say all week. Anyway, this brings me to something I’ve been thinking about recently regarding Frederic Jameson’s definition of “the pastiche” in postmodernity.

In “Postmodernism, or the Cultural Logic of Late Capitalism,” Jameson describes “pastiche” as similar to the technique but at odds with the intent of “parody.” I don’t have the text in front of me so I’m going off of memory right now, but the basic argument is that “pastiche” is neutral appropriation where “parody” appropriates and re-performs with the intent of mocking or providing some sort of commentary. But, again, “pastiche” is the “neutral” form of a similar appropriative technique where styles and techniques are appropriated and re-employed for different affect/effects. This is a simple enough differentiation as far as I’m concerned, and I really didn’t have any problem with it until I started thinking about it in terms of race. The problem when race enters the picture is that this supposedly “neutral practice” cannot help but lose its apparent “neutrality.” For example, when a white rapper like Buck 65 appropriates rap music and sort’ve re-defines it and then ultimately re-deploys it in his unique way, it’s too simple to say that this is “neutral” postmodern pastiche. Certainly, Buck 65’s intentions might be “neutral”—even though he’s said a bunch of ignorant shit about rap, you still get the vibe that he loves it and respects it and has no intention of really disrespecting it—but, intent isn’t perfectly equitable to effect. And, given Jameson’s insistence that context is king in postmodernity, one would think that he would agree with me when I say something like this:

can never be

Therefore, white appropriation and pastiche might be “neutral” in intention, but it almost certainly won’t be neutral in affect/effect.

Again, I don’t have the text in front of me and it’s more than likely that Jameson is really only speaking in terms of intention when he describes the difference between “parody” and “pastiche,” but I think my point stands: the relationship between the “white experimental rapper” and the typical “black rapper” is a complicated one—one that might be “neutral” in intent, but might have much more dubious effects, regardless of what the rapper or reviewer intends.

So what? Where does this leave us? Frankly, I don’t really know. All I do know is that it’s somewhat dangerous to use terms like “post-rap” when talking about “white rappers” without really discussing the issues of race that inevitably surround the issue. It’s just an extremely slippery slope in all directions and to throw these terms around without pointing out the racial elements that abound seems to me a bit irresponsible. That’s why I think “post-colonial-rap” is better (and way more clever): it at least contains the suggestion of race in it and points out the potential for cultural imperialism, oppression, and domination—which is of course what we mean when we talk about “race.”

Sorry for the mini-dissertation.

I should probably get to work now.

By the way, I just found this for those interested in the Jameson piece.

-e

Best believe your drank gone get drank up....

2005-07-25T11:29:00.000-07:00

- Big Ups: Big ups go out to urrybody that bothered to engage my dumb ass in some blog conversation recently, especially Pearsall Helms. Go to his blog. Shit is better than mine.

- Big Numbers: I’m really bad at grasping big numbers. When I’m at a concert or some sort of big event, as soon as there are over 50 people, I have a hard time even estimating how many people are present. 150 people? 650 people? Shit might as well be exactly the same to me. So, in that vein, we have this which allows us to visualize $87 billion. Of course, it’s a bit of a dated link, but it’s interesting nonetheless.

- Fashion: I can totally imagine David Brent showing up to work wearing one of these. “Fashion.”

- Reef the Lost Cauze: Reef’s got a new album coming out soon, but I posted some of his older shit on the shrimp. Scoop it. It’s good stuff. I did the beats to “This is My Life” and “The Puzzle.” Feel free to diss the shit out of ‘em (especially my use of the rather played “Come Dancing”).

- Hood 2 Hood: I must admit, I do want to see this. I’m sure there’s plenty of disturbing and downright reprehensible shit going on in this video, but, to me, the most disturbing thing about it is that it’s fucking 5 hours! FUCK. That’s ridiculous.

- Mississippi Burning: I haven’t seen “Mississippi Burning” for years upon years, but it was brought up recently in a messageboard post and I found this article about it. Read it if you’ve seen the movie or are bored.

- RIP frhate: To anybody who used to frequent the Anticon board years ago, you might remember the long stories a member named “Frhate” used to post. They were really interesting Kerouac-esque, Hobo stories that were rather well-written and always interesting. Unfortunately, the talented, free-spirited soul passed on recently but people with more foresight than me were wonderful enough to copy/paste them jawns and preserve them for eternity. Go here to read the stories. They’re great. R.I.P. Serg with more on the man.

-e

No Comment

2005-07-22T11:34:00.000-07:00

These comments sections (here and here) are poppin'. Waste your weekend debating!

-e

I'm not a player...

2005-07-20T06:47:00.000-07:00

- Wedding Crashers: Welp, I saw “Wedding Crashers” last night with the dudes Lowbeezy and bo blizzardry and it’s officially hilarious. Let’s get the obvious criticisms out of the way: it’s the same old unbelievably unbelievable story of guys-who-like-to-fuck-and-have-no-intention-of-
settling-down meet girls-who-make-them-realize-they-want-love-
and-not-a-perpetual-fuck-fest thing. Blah, blah, blah. Yeah, yeah, it’s stupid, overdone and unrealistic (and might even be partially responsible for perpetuating the age-old “Girl likes asshole” syndrome all of us nice fellars despise so), but the movie doesn’t purport to be much more than a laugh-fest. The fact that it’s the same-ol’ bullshit story and you know how the film’s going to end before it even starts winds up working in its advantage however. After all, since the film is so predictable and the happy-ending is pre-prackaged, the focus of the movie is instead on the performances of and chemistry between the stars Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson, who are both pretty damn flawless. Basically, the shit is just fucking funny. Go see it.

- No Mo’ Tuesdays: My Tuesday weekly DJ gig with Low Budget (Hollertronix) and Dan the Swede (my “White T’s and White Belts” partna in crime) has been put on hold until the Fall because there ain’t nobody in Old City on a muhfuggin’ Tuesday night. Sowwwwy!! Come back in late August/early September. We’ll make the fucker jump-off ~~(like a suicidal person from a roof)~~.

- Judge Roberts: So, I’m kinda scared about Judge Roberts’ potential Supreme Court appointment, but at least he said this: "[Roe vs Wade is] the settled law of the land… there's nothing in my personal views that would prevent me from fully and faithfully applying that precedent." Ugh. I’m still scurred.

- Toonces: Awwdamn posted some funny SNL movies of Toonces the Driving cat on a messageboard. Here: 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5.

- Fuck: If you didn’t see this dunk yet, click now. Lil’ dude gets called for an offensive foul, but who gives a fuck? This shit is redonkulous. In other basketball news: good for the Sixers, bad for the Sonics.

- More Ebonics Discussion: For more on the Ebonics/Black Vernacular English (BVE) stuff, read the comments from yesterday. I also describe my basketball game in 50 words or less.

- Saved by the Bol: Yet again, Byron Crawford saves me half an hour of my life. Shit is better than watching the shit.

-e

I'm still smellin' crack in my clothes...

2005-07-19T05:56:00.000-07:00

"Still smellin' crack in my clothes"? Come on, now! Does Jay-Z really expect me to believe he hasn't bought any new clothes since '88? Pssssh! Anyway, on with the bullshit...

- Ugh: Dad boxes with three year old son because he’s scared the kid is gay… winds up killing him. Good job, you fucking idiot.

- Prayer: A hilariously awesome study about the effects of prayer. Sounds like something out of the onion. Maybe these people just weren’t that good at praying.

- Guess Who’s Bizzack: That Queens-bridge bol with the short temper and best all-around game in the NBA is back on the court. God speed, son. By the way, Draft Express is nuts. If you’re an NBA dork, that place is for you. If you’re a streetball dork, you’re probably all about the EBC classic poppin’ off right now. The fuck is Gilbert Arenas thinking? Oh, and good ol' Larry Brown pulls the same ol' bullshit we've come to expect of the "classy" guy. Fuck him. Best coach in the NBA? Check. Hall of Famer? Check. Piece of shit? Check. Fuck that guy.

- Mashpolitik: Wayne waxes on mashes/mixes/blends. A bit long but some important stuff to think about.

- Lyrics Born: A good article about a rapper I used to really be into but now couldn’t really care less about. Written by Eric Arnold.

- Vinyl Sales Up: Via grand good, 7” record sales are up in the UK.

- Dorks are the New Jocks: So, apparently, dorks are cool. I’d just like to say I pioneered that campaign back when I was coming-up in my school days: I was dorky and got good grades, but everyone still liked me because I had a mean twenty-footer… except girls, of course.

- Ebonics: Sheesh, this only took, what, eight to ten years for people to realize the legitimacy of Ebonics? Hopefully, this will allow Ebonics-speaking kids to transition into Standard English better because, let’s be honest, you need to learn Standard English in this country if you want to be successful. To be sure, Ebonics is just as legitimately a “language” as Standard English is, but which of the following is a more feasible goal: (a) instituting educational programs that will teach our Ebonics-speaking children that, yes, Ebonics is a legitimate language, but not one that is acceptable in the American business world, or (b) convincing non-Ebonics-speaking White America that Ebonics is a legitimate language that needs to be recognized and accepted? I hope more programs like this are instituted across the country, and I hope supremely dumb motherfuckers like Bill Cosby shut the fuck up about it.

- White Lies: I bought Maurice Berger’s “White Lies: Race and the Myth of Whiteness” on a whim yesterday. It’s a memoir-esque, firt-person account of a Jewish kid growing up in the projects on the Lower East Side with a racist mom and a relatively open-minded (but schizophrenic) pops. Some interesting anecdotal insights about race/racism, random quotes of interest, and some interesting facts. It’s good. Stupidly predictable title, though. Still, it’s good.

- Interesting Thoughts about Tobacco: Here’s a really interesting take on smoking and why Corporate America approves of it in the work-place. You could probably sum it up by re-contextualizing the famous Marx quote about religion: “Smoking is the opiate of the masses.” It’s from Wikipedia's tobacco entry ...

For another take on the moral aspects of smoking, see David Krogh's book "Smoking: the Artificial Passion" (Freeman 1992). Freeman documents a strong case for tobacco's uniqueness as a "drug" and accounts for the fact that in the past, many moralists who disapproved of "recreational" drugs approved of tobacco.

Krogh shows how tobacco is not like alcohol or so-called controlled substances including marijuana a recreational drug. He shows how smokers use tobacco to normalize their feelings within the narrow band necessary for functioning within an industrial society, where energy levels have to be carefully rationed according to expectations.

Krogh's analysis is unusual because it explains why workplaces prior to about 1980 actively encouraged smoking through the provision of ashtrays and vending machines and even today, smokers in nonsmoking offices are usually allowed generous breaks far in excess of nonsmokers. Krogh shows how cigarette smoking (unlike alcohol or marijuana, but perhaps like "speed" and "crystal meth") reconciles people to dull jobs by narrowing their physical, and hence psychological responses to fit within an expected range: not so depressed as to be subpar but not overenthusiastic or so angry as to cause fear in fellow employees.

This range is naturalized as normal but in fact all industrialized societies have had to train their lower-level cadres to dampen their response and it appears, given Krogh's narrative sociology, that smoking was morally neutral before about 1980 because it fulfilled this necessary function.

The zenith of smoking's moral approval in America was the Second World War and the postwar era where vast numbers of people had to operate technical apparatus while dampening down feelings of fear and despair which were normal given the facts of the war and subsequent period of "cold" war. But to the extent that since this era, metropolitan and developed countries had (until September 11) almost complete immunity from the immediacy of wartime conditions, smoking has probably fulfilled less of a socially necessary function in metropolitan societies...while in marginalized war zones it continues to enjoy positive approval.

As a narrative sociology, Krogh needs to be taken with a grain of salt. It may be that prior to modern restrictions on tobacco advertising, public relations was able to create the illusion that a harmful activity was morally neutral or even a *mitzvah* (Jewish commandment).

-e

You don't know my name...

2005-07-15T06:35:00.000-07:00

- Iverson on Punk’d: Ok, I haven’t seen Iverson on Punk’d yet but I’m sure it’s great. Freedarko says that Iverson proves in it, once again, that he is “one of the most likable players of all time” and I, for one, believe them. Somebody find me a WMV of that bitch. An MPG or AVI will do too, but no MOVs. I can’t peep that Quicktime bullshit at work. Darko also posted a link to this dunk that Dr. Robert originally put me up on. This is the word “dunked on” personified. Sickening. But, look at the crowd afterwards. What is it about putting your hands in the air? It’s like an innate way to express happy disbelief and victory. Why is that? I don’t think that shit’s socialized—I think it’s instinctual. Somebody get a grant and some funding and then conduct a test… but find that Iverson Punk’d shit first. I’m sure I could wait to see it on a re-run on MTV, but the point is, I want to see it now.

- Guess Who’s Biddack: Serg posted some new shit and it’s about 40’s. This guy is the shit on so many levels.

- Portal to Hell: I always knew Southern California was as close to hell as you could get.

- Three Suns: This is for the latent astronomer in us all. Apparently, “astronomers have detected a planet outside our solar system with not one, but three suns, a finding that challenges astronomers' theories of planetary formation.” Word?

- Fly, Pelican, Fly: Hands down, the best scene in “Scarface” is the scene where Tony Montana is sittin’ in his big ass bath tub watching TV, he sees some flamingos on TV and says “Fly, Pelican, fllyyy!” That shit cracks me the fuck up every time. It’s like, such a juvenile joke, but it’s fucking hilarious. So, ever since then, I’ve held a special place in my heart for both flamingos (except for lawn-flamingos which are just creepy) and pelicans. That is why I find this story about inexplicable pelican deaths particularly sad. To all my real live pelicans out there: fly, y’all… fly (and when I say “pelicans,” I mean “pelicans and flamingos.” Holler).

- 4 and Chinese: OK, I know messageboards aren’t exactly the most credible places in the world for information, but according to several people in this post, Chinese people are very superstitious about the number four. In fact, an architect who works in Hong Kong says “Many new residential buildings in this neck of the woods do not have any of the following: 4th, 14th, 24th etc (4 sounds like "Death" in Mandarin and Cantonese); 7th, 17th, 27th etc (Chinese mourning period goes in cycles of 7 days); and 13th floor (something for the westerner).” I just find it astonishing that superstition comes into play so seriously with shit like this. Yet again, good ol’ Teddy Adorno’s (bio) contemporary relevancy is illustrated.

- ”Girl, you’ve really got to do something about your dark butthole”: Via Poplicks, we find this strangely ridiculous and yet wholly American tidbit. Another reason why So’Cal is as close to hell as you can get without booking a flight in the hand-basket-to-actual-hell. I’ll be completely honest with you: even while watching porn, I have never ONCE thought “Damn, that girl’s butthole is too dark.” I have definitely thought “Damn, this scene would be way better without that dude’s butthole having such a prominent presence on the screen” (dudes in straight porn should wear boxers or some shit), but never ever ever have I even considered if someone’s bum hole was adequately hued. Call me old-fashioned.

- Mo’ Pollack: This is a little bit old by now, and Free Darko hates him (which—since I dickeat them so hard—makes me feel guilty for liking him), but Neal Pollack is funny.

- Drop Me a Comment: You people should comment more so I can get a rough idea of how many people actually read this thing. I have no idea how to tell and I’m really curious. Maybe I should get a web-counter? How do I do that shit? I’m an idiot. I get the feeling that the only people that read it are like Caps, KC, my buddy Ian, and a few other people, but I’m curious. So post a comment saying “You’re an idiot” or something. Thanks!

-e

Emil'll blamblam 'em.

2005-07-14T06:40:00.000-07:00

- DJing Tonight: Come check me out at Filo’s tonight with my man Bo Bliz for Crossfaded Thursdays. Shit’s been poppin’ off lately. Good times, good music, good air-conditioning. Hottest shit south of Spring Garden on a Thursday night. So holler at us. City Paper says so (scroll down).

New Blog Rollers: I’ve added a few links to my blog-roll but since nobody uses those stupid blog-rolls, I’ma post ‘em here too:

- I don’t know if you need to be on myspace to see this shit, but it’s my dude Drew’s blog. He’s hilarious and smart. I’d encourage you to go read his shit, give him a journalism job, and then encourage him to stop posting blogs on myspace and starting a real blog on blogger.com or something.

- The bol KC_a_Jew is fucking hilarious. His newest shit about DJs getting a lot of ass is on-point, but his story about fouling out of a basketball game and then punching Oprah takes the cake.

- Wayne and Wax is hot, too. It reflects on “hip-hop, reggae, the US, jamaica, and anything else wayne wants to wax on.” Go. It’s better than here. There’s a wonderfully articulate and interesting post about the recent changes in dancehall and their effects. Bloggery at its finest.

- Marxist ass buster k-punk is killin’ it with his highly political but not boringly academic blog. Punkest blog I’ve read. Shit is hard… especially this phenomenal post about the “War on Terror” in response to the recent London attacks.

- My Hair (Kinda Homo): My hair is looking particularly scummy lately. It’s the humidity, I think. My once vibrant, bouncy curls are now oily, heavy, and decrepit. Don’t worry, though: I’m having a telecom with my-twin-brother-from-another-mother Jim Jones at lunch today. We’re going to discuss coordinating our summer look and, amongst other things, healthy hair and beard tips. Talk to ya in a few hours, Jim-bo!

- FUCK YOU: I’m fucking elated that Bernard Ebbers was sentenced to 25 years in prison for his WorldCom fraud. That fucker should’ve gotten life. Fuck you, you piece of shit.

-e

Dick in your mouth all day Bitch get your mouth off me!

2005-07-13T06:37:00.000-07:00

- Big News: Awww shit! That flier is amazing. My main dude from Cali is gonna be in town, too. We fixing to show him how the fuck we do thangs out in the dirty, grimey, gully Philthydelphia... EARLY!

- Beats to the Rhyme: So, you know on Run DMC’s “Beats to the Rhyme” there’s that hard to distinguish vocal sample? I was hoping it was someone saying “Dick in your mouth all day,” but, Cosmo Baker dropped the knowledge on me: Sim Kinneson saying "Bitch get your mouth off me." Suhweeetuh! I can die in peace now.

- Lit Theory Tuesdays: Don’t miss Literary Theory Tuesdays o’er at the incommensurable Michael Berube blog. Fun stuff about Derrida and why it’s stupid to hate on Lit Theory the way so many people do.

- Catchdubs Updates Proper: If you’re smart, you check his site before you come here, but if you haven’t, the multi-talented dudest of dudes nikolai catch dubs hits us with a full-on, 12 bullet update.

- Zen: Speaking of Catchdubs, Rollie linked the mp3 of that Clipse song Zen that ‘dubs put us up on months ago. Real talk, real rap.

- Real World Austin: I missed the Real World last night. Byron Crawford didn’t. Thankfully.

- Grand Good: Grand Good records is a dope record label run by a couple of my NY folks. I’m supposed to work on a project for them but it’s coming along slooooooowly. They’ve got a dope little mix posted though. It ain’t mixed together, but there’s some fun shit on it. Peep right here.

- Shock G Retires: Apparently Shock G is retiring because he hates the studio and other reasons. I think it’s BS. He’ll be back. Music is like that crack: the addicts always come back. Anyway, I hope so at least… not like I check for his new shit, but uh, it’s nice to know that staples like him are still putting shit down… err, were putting shit down. Whatever. Happy trails, Shocky (and when I say “happy trails,” I don’t mean this).

-e

The one to look out for...

2005-07-12T06:11:00.000-07:00

- Grab a Crying Towel: Some sad, sad shit about the Bhopal, India gas leak in 1984 and The Dow Chemical Company from the wonderful, wonderful website Knowmore: The Corporation Watch Search Engine. Here’s a piece by David Watson from—as my boy icarus from the Shrimp describes it—the “formerly important anarchist newspaper The Fifth Estate.”

- That song that gives you shivers: Here’s a study some neurologists did monitoring people’s brains when they listened to music that consistently gave them shivers. Pretty interesting stuff. There’s a sentence that bothered me though: “The study also revealed that the brain processes consonant and dissonant sounds in very different ways.” Aren’t “consonance” and “dissonance” socialized phenomenon though? Or aren’t they at least very subjective terms? Or is there something more “scientific” about the terms that I’m failing to understand. I mean, there’s a heck of a lot of dissonant music out there that people like… presumably at an emotional level as well as an intellectual level.

- Bahaha!: Rollie linked this. Hilarious.

- Dip-SET: It’s Diplomats Week over at allhiphop.com. GYEAH GYEAH GYEAH GYEAH!

- It Ain’t Easy Being an Atlanta Hawks Fan: The Sports Guy intern with some funny shit ‘bout being an Atlanta Hawks fan.

- Reef the Lost Cauze: My dude Reef hit me with an advanced copy if his new album “Feast or Famine” that’s dropping on Good Hands Records in September. I’ve got three beats on the bitch ~~(and obviously, they’re the best three)~~ and it’s a real solid album. I’d be lying if I said I felt 100% of the shit, but it is a really solid album from a soon to be Philly superstar. Reef is lyrically adept, charismatic, and can just flat-out rap. I’ma post some of his old shit on The Skrimp tomorrow or the next day. But, his new album is tough. Be very scurred.

-e

Sometimes saying nothing is saying too much.

2005-07-08T06:43:00.000-07:00

- Fuck You, Terrorists: My prayers are with the people of London. This world sucks. People suck. Fuck. Here’s a rather beautiful essay by English Professor at Chapel Hill John McGowan over on Berube’s blog (where McGowan posts every Thursday). Good stuff denouncing violence, but it raises a lot of questions about the efficacy of pacifism as well. We need to think hard about this shit—so hard that it starts to hurt in the back of our heads; so hard that we get frustrated and confused and thoroughly annoyed with the complexity of it all; so hard that we don’t want to think about it anymore. But, once we get to that stage were we can’t, won’t, and don’t want to think about it anymore—once we are so overwhelmed with the potential hopelessness and the mind-boggling intricacy of these difficult questions—we shouldn’t stop thinking. No. That’s when we know the productive thinking has really started. So, for those of us who don’t know what to do, and don’t know where to put our energy, and don’t know how to react to any of the bullshit that has cropped up since 09/11/2001 (and, to be realistic, long before that), the only truly revolutionary act I can envision that will eventually bring about true and lasting change, Change, CHANGE is: thinking really fucking hard about this shit. Which of course doesn’t mean we shouldn’t do other more traditionally “active” tasks (teaching, volunteering, protesting), but the most important thing we can do right now is think hard about how we can make the changes we need in this world and stop assuming that the conventional wisdom(s) that we rely on are “common sense” and “tried and true.” We must accept the possibility that what we’ve been doing isn’t “right” or “enough” or “effective.” We must challenge everything—especially ourselves.

- Capitalism: So, if Baudrillard is right and there’s no “outside of Capitalism” (unfortunately, he is right) the obvious answer to combating the system is working “through it,” right? Well, yeah, but Steven Shaviro articulates the predicament we’re in beautifully in this essay. Absolutely breath-taking stuff like: “The thing to remember is that, even when we strive to resist the commodity’s allure, and the ubiquitous domination of the marketplace, it is only in the terms set forth by the commodity itself that we can do so.” Brett Easton Ellis was right: “There is no exit.” But perhaps there’s “wiggle room,” no?

- Blog Notating: Anybody know if the MLA or APA is planning on adding a standardized way to quote and notate blog citations in an academic essay? I know they’ve got web address shit and personal email shit, but I wonder if they’ll come up with a Blog-specific format since there’s so much interesting stuff being written on blogs lately.

- And now for something completely different: Got Ray Allen, but old Seattle mainstay Nate McMillian is heading down the highway. Weak.

- Lil’ Kim: So, yeah, Lil’ Kim is going to jail. Just a few things to say about this shit. First, I think it’s pretty cool that the judge compared it to the Martha Stewart case, basically stating that he couldn’t justifying sending Lil’ Kim to jail for much longer than Martha for basically committing the same crime. True, Lil’ Kim lied about a “violent crime” while Stewart lied about a “white collar crime,” but I think the judge was aware of the racial elements that are necessarily involved in cases like this and probably made the right decision. Secondly, I don’t understand why all these idiotos are talking shit about Lil’ Kim on messageboards and whatnot. Sure, she lied, but she did it to protect her friends. Fuck the fucking justice system! I’d commit “perjury” in a second to protect all of my close friends. Lil’ Kim basically just didn’t snitch. Y’all motherfuckers hating on her for it are all a bunch of snitches. Now I’ma go cop a “Stop Snitchin’” Dipset shirt and shoot you.

- Zey Call it Murdaaahhh: So “Welcome to Jamrock” has gotta be the official summer jam… at least of the East Coast. “Gimme That” and “Stay Fly” are contenders as well, but “Welcome to Jamrock” is knockin’ the tri-state. There’s some interesting discussions goin' on about the song courtesy of a Brown student and her professor. Yeah, there’s a bunch of authenticity arguments being thrown around by the student, but dude at wayne and wax sets the argument in the right direction. Interesting stuff that is way more interesting than my Saul Williams tirade (which I might update with new thoughts or just let die). Thanks to Dr. Robert for putting me up on the debate.

- A Shit Load of Rap Videos: I kinda feel like I posted this before, but I dunno. Here it is again anyway. I’d never seen Kanye’s “Two Words” video, but now I have… and it’s effin’ awesome.

- Penis Snipping: Awesome post by Junichi over at Poplicks where he first presents his original argument against circumcision (which is damn convincing), but then changes his mind back to the pro-knife stance because of a new study that shows significant benefits. That Junichi dude is smart and hilarious. Go. Read.

- Basketball Season Is Over: Saddest thing about the NBA season being over? Free Darko is now in remission. Maybe we can convince them to tell silly anecdotes that have nothing to do with basketball over there on an almost-daily basis just so I’ll have something funny and provocative to read. We should at least convince Bethlehem Shoals to talk more about Freestyle Fellowship and jazz (you didn’t know he was uber-nerdy about that shit too, did you? Not particularly surprising is it?). Anyway, get at it Shoalsy!

Worth it's own post...

2005-07-05T10:16:00.000-07:00

Praise Jesus!

It's a new day, and a better day is coming...

2005-07-05T06:29:00.000-07:00

I was sick last week so I took a bit of a blogging hiatus... mostly because I don't blog unless I'm at work. Anyway, I'm back. Yay for me.

- David Foster Wallace Commencement Address: DFW gettin’ gully in this commencement address. I wish someone cool would’ve spoken at my matriculation. Please read this speech. It’s great.

- Poetry Funds Terrorism: Catchdub’s recently worked with Saul Williams to make a mixtape that strives to do for Saul Williams what Diplo’s “Piracy Funds Terrorism” did for MIA. It’s worth a download. Technically speaking, it’s a solid mixtape and I feel bad about saying anything remotely negative about a project worked on by such a wonderful human (Young Catch is really the dude), but now I'm gonna put my conscience on the side for a second because I’ve got a few critical things to say about this mixtape: First of all, Saul Williams’ melodramatic, didactic proselytizing on (a) beats he almost certainly either hasn’t heard before or (b) on beats from songs he flat out doesn’t like (because the rappers are rapping about ice and money, etc) strikes me as terribly contrived. It’s clear quickly that Saul Williams is a talented writer with provocative ideas. Likewise, Catchdubs does a fine job of constructing a fun, interesting, and eclectic backdrop for Williams. But, i can't say the mixtape is a success because of the simple fact that something rubbed me the wrong way about the tape and I’ve just now put my finger on it: I can’t help but feel like the thing is some silly marketing tool where Saul Williams is just trying to reach an audience that he previously hasn’t reached. Additionally, I’m left with the sense that Saul Williams is insulting the shit out of the people who don’t listen to his music with this shit, basically saying something along the lines of "The only reason the people that listen to gangsta rap don’t like me is because I’m not rapping on the beats they like" or something silly like that. It just feels so manufactured and insincere--like a bad marketing campaign that is using all these signifiers that are supposed to communicate to a specific audience, but the usage is so out-of-place and insincere that if falls flat on its face. It's worth stating that I don't think the mixtape's failure has anything to do with Catchdubs's construction of the tape. Again, it's a solid mix with some fun blends, but I expect more from someone as smart as Saul Williams. This is just some lazy, insulting BS as far as I'm concerend. These so-called "conscious rappers" need to stop alienating themselves if they truly want a larger audience, and you can’t just suddenly spit some lyrics on some beats that were on the GAME album and expect to be accepted.

- Good News for Paul-C Fans: Via grandgood rekkids, there’s a new/old Paul C project set for release.

- Missing White People: O-Dub with a brief but on-point analysis of missing white people and the black suspects that are suspected of doing something illegal—even if they’re no longer suspects because of lack of evidence.

- "I fucked Dax from Punk’d": I can’t decide if the Andy Milonakis show is funny or not. I’m leaning more towards not, but I guess he was some internet superstar before he had a TV show and this “internet hero” freestyle is pretty funny.

-e

FUCKING SHIT IT'S HOT IN MY OFFICE!

2005-06-27T06:57:00.000-07:00

- Monday, Bloody Monday: I come in to work today, AC is broken and, for some reason, all my emails in my work-related Outlook Express are gone. That’s hundreds of emails that I pretty much NEED... it's fucking insanely hot in here. Fuck.

- Random Crap: Random crap about Random Rap.

- Real World: I missed the Real World premier on Tuesday night, but caught the re-run on Sunday. Peep Byron Crawford’s Real World redux if you missed it. While you’re there, peep his Cassidy review. Shit’s funny.

- Album Covers Appropriated for Ad Purposes: Presumably inspired by the Nike ad that bites this Minor Threat cover, David put me onto this tom foolery. People who get all up in arms about this type of corporate appropriation seem to me be a bit off-base. My basic thoughts about this type of shit are as follows:

As "sad" and "disgusting" as this is (which it certainly is to some degree), I think it's more productive to realize that it's symptomatic of how the culture industry appropriates, co-opts, and markets, all for the sole purpose of accruing capital. Of course, that don't make it "right" (nor does it necessarily make it "wrong"), but it is a reality.

It's just symptomatic of something much larger at play: the logic of marketing and late capitalism.

It's pretty much why I think "Roger and Me" is a stupid movie (though totally entertaining). Michael Moore is making these corporate big wigs out to be the enemy, as if the problem(s) with capitalism is(are) that a couple bad apple CEOs are just mean and heartless bad guys or something. Uh, no, dude. This is the logic of capitalism. This is how the world works. Cheaper labor equals more profit. So, if you can go to Mexico to get cheaper labor, holler. Morality doesn't come into play here. Capitalism is by its very nature amoral.

In other words, don't hate the player (Nike), hate the game (good ol' capitalism).

Some dude got all up in arms when I posted these thoughts on a messageboard and tried to call me out for encouraging “complacency” with my argument. His words are italicized, mine aren’t:

How is it "productive" to a) simply accept an existing reality, and b) render it neither "right" nor "wrong"? The idea of productivity is that something is actually produced. All I see produced in your model is complacency.

Who the heck is talking about “accepting an existing reality” and being “complacent”? What I’m calling for is simply a more accurate realization of the forces that drive our world. If anything, the “Fuck Nike for this!” shit is more complacent then what I’m calling for because it allows for a totally inaccurate scape-goating—as if Nike and a few other companies are the only ones that are “inauthentically appropriating subcultures” for capital, and that if they were just a little bit more socially-conscious or respectful or something, then it’d all be hunky-dory. Heck no! This shit happens all the fucking time—it’s what the fuck marketing is based on. All I’m talking about here is understanding that it’s not about over-simplilfying and scape-goating companies like Nike and Scion for some sort of “inauthentic appropriation” for the sole purpose of making money. If we want our actions to have any lasting impact on the world, we need to understand that this is the system that we live in and the system drives the logic. Of course people make up a system which makes up people which makes up the system on and on and on forever, but to individualize the “problem” like this is, to me, what I find to be “wholly unproductive.”

Saying there is “something much larger at play: the logic of marketing and late capitalism” is like saying that there is "something larger at play" when killers kill people. Sure, ok, whatever, there probably is something larger at play- cultural devaluation of human life, broken homes, the logic of late capitalism- but none of this means we can't or shouldn't judge and hold individual or collective actors responsible for their actions.

Who is saying you “shouldn’t or can’t hold individual or collective actors responsible for their actions”? Certainly not me. All I’m trying to shed some light on is that this type of marketing is not a unique phenomenon and is just plain ol’ “marketing.” Now, suddenly people care because an album they like is being de-valued by Nike or something and I’m just trying to say “Woah, hold your horses. This shit happens literally ALL THE FUCKING TIME” and it’s way too easy to just sit back and say “Dude, fuck Nike for pimping Dischord like that!”

To say “don't hate the player (Nike), hate the game (good ol' capitalism)” is nonsense. The players are what make a game. If you hate the game, don't play. If you do play, expect to be hated.

Pray tell, how can one “not play” this game? There is no space outside of capitalism. You can move to a commune and never buy anything again or something like that, but that’s not exactly affecting much is it?

I’m not calling for any sort of complacency. I just think some of the folks commenting here aren’t being realistic about how these things work, and I find it much more important to understand that there is a systematic logic present here. Nike ads like this aren’t an anomaly.

I’m not claiming to have any real answers here on how to “buck the system,” and the only reason I posted this lil’ exchange is not to illustrate that I won an argument or anything. But I do find that a lot of people respond adversely to my line of thinking that isn’t afraid to suggest that individual actions probably aren’t going to be enough to really “buck the system.” Surely, people are the ones that make-up the system, but any “solution” is going to be an extremely complicated one because we are all necessarily complicit in the system at all times. As far as I’m concerned, there truly is no space “outside” of capitalism and thus, any “solution,” that is based on finding a space “outside” is not a solution at all.

-e

Celebrity Sightings

2005-06-24T06:46:00.000-07:00

- Too Lazy To Post Anything But This: Some “Celebrity Sightings” stories from the Soulstrut messageboard:

- So I'm hitting on this absolutely beautiful woman the other day at work, but she is apparently waiting on some dude. She has a British accent so I ask her if it's the dude with the Beatles looking haircut that she is waiting for. She giggles all cute and says, "yes." The dude turns and looks at me because he kind of overheard part of the conversation, so I smirk and explain to him that I guessed by her British accent that she was waiting for him cause of his whole recreated Beatles look. Dude looks at me like I just slapped him in the face and he walks away. She is all like, "Bye!!!!" all cute and waving to me and shit while she catches up to his cry baby ass. My boy turns to me and says, "Do you know who that is? That's Liam Gallagher from Oasis. That's like a huge insult to him!"

- On a plane from LAX to JFK last spring I sat in front of Ted Danson. He kept kicking the back of my seat like a little kid. I got him in the end, though, as I unintentionally (I swear!) elbowed him in the rear as I pulled my bag down from the overhead bin after landing.

- i farted in front of Jackie Chan while we were both lining up at the airport. My stomach was about to explode, I had to let it out...it stank like hell too. didn't realise that it was him till i turned around after I farted. oops.

-e