Tuesday, November 29, 2005

How it shoot if it's plastic?

- Stupid Question: I have a stupid question that might reveal to you all how thoroughly stupid I am: Why is Saddam Hussein on trial? What is he on trial for? Don’t we have to sort’ve conclude that someone’s “guilty” of something really bad before we go to war with them? I don’t understand what the hell this trial is about. We were trying to kill the dude for several months before we found him. Now we’re going to pretend that never happened and trot along with the “innocent ‘til proven guilty” shenanigans? I’ve got to be missing something. Somebody explain this to me.

- 50 Cent’s Condom: 50 is coming out with a condom. Impressive.

- Free Darko: I am now officially an active, posting member of Free Darko--the best website ever. What this means for the future of Free Darko? Not much, in the grand scheme of things. But, it’ll be fun and challenging and I’m sure I’ll be made to look like an idiot even more than I already get made to look like an idiot on my own blog. Anyway, it’s a pleasure to be writing with those dudes, and peep how the plan came together. While you’re o’er there, cop a shirt.

- Fighting Terrorism is Awesome!: This seems like a totally awesome way to fight terrorism that doesn’t sound like a waste of time, effort, and/or man-power at all! Awesome!

- Karma: So, the Seahawks won a game they didn’t deserve to win… but, the Giants were close in a game they didn’t deserve to be close in. Peep. It all works out in the end.

- Anti-Trust?: Apparently, all-around good-guy Senator Specter (hah!) thinks that the Eagles might be violating Anti-Trust laws by benching TO. I really don’t understand the logic. I understand that the Eagles should let other teams talk to him if they’re planning on getting rid of him so perhaps that’s where Specter’s beef sits, but other than that, I don’t see how paying the dude to do nothing is a violation of anything (except for the Eagles’ chances to win).

- New iPod: Psh. And you thought the Nano was small. Hell no. Peep the Zepto.


Monday, November 28, 2005

When I fall, I get right back

- Sorry: Sorry for the hiatus. I’ve been vacationing real hard over the past few days and, prior to that, was dealing with real life. Schitt has been hectic, but we’re (i.e. I’m) back in the building with more useless talk about nothing.

- Jones and the Stencil: My dude Jones from the infamous Caps and Jones has joined his DJ lover partner Caps and homeboy Nash on their wonderful lil’ bloggeroo the stencil. Jones’ first post is pretty pathetic, though. We’ll let it slide this time, but step your game up!

- The Roots: As bad as pitchfork can be, sometimes they get schitt right on the money. For example, here’s a perfect review of the Roots’ career disguised as a review of their greatest hits record. The prose is on the money. The numerical rating is somewhat not.

- Free Darko: Rumor has it that Free Darko is about to undergo some serious changes. Could be good, could be bad. Only time will tell. Update soon.

- I Keep the After Party Swervin’…: …Not quite like Michael Irvin.” I, for one, believe the dude.

- The Birds: The Seahawks won a game that they totally didn’t deserve to win. But, hey, a win’s a win. This clip of Shockey reacting to one of Jay Feeley’s THREE missed field goals is priceless. “Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Oh… yeah… wait… oh… no… no!” The Seahawks might actually get to the Super Bowl this year. Needless to say, they will undoubtedly get crushed by the Colts, but still. Getting there is half the battle.

- Heard Em Say: Kanye’s “Heard ‘em Say” video featuring Bill Plimpton on the pencils. Video coming out around Christmas is by Michael Gondry.

- Go! Team vs Kevin Shields: Kevin Shields from My Bloody Valentine is finna remix some Go! Team tracks. That’s what’s really dude. Apparently RJD2 is getting in on the action too.


Friday, November 18, 2005

By letting her pass, I've proved to be a better man

- Menace II Sobreity: Tonight at the Blue Horseshoe, your dudes emynd and Bo Bliz along with dudette Lady Jae will be playing that rappity rap and dancehall and shiz until you fall over. It’s cold. Come drink some fluids and stay warm with us. 10 to 2 at 10 South 20th Street (just south of Market). T’will be fun!

- Chess Boxing: Jacked from my homegirl trigger, this chess-boxing schitt (literally, chess AND boxing) is crazy.

- More Borat: Peep Borat’s website. The best part? He did a “.kz” website. That’s hysterical.

- Get that Money!: This dude robbed the same restaurant twice in one day. That’s either stupid or brilliant. It appears he got away so I’m going with the latter.

- Sufjan Stevens Illinois Vinyl: Good news for conspicuous consumers like myself regarding the Sufjan Stevens album “Illinoise”: it’s finally coming out on vinyl! Yay!


Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Bunny Suicides

It's a bunny suicides sorta day today. I've posted this before so sorry for the re-hashing.

In other news Trent from "Swingers" performing an exorcism is Nene Hilario (this blog's new way of saying the over-used word "hilarious) or Jesus uttering obscenities. Or the best palindrome ever.



Tuesday, November 15, 2005


“Is good!”

- Kazakhstan vs Borat: Apparently, the people of Kazakhstan find the character Borat to be offensive. Perhaps I’m being insensitive in suggesting what these folks should and should not be offended by, but this is idiotic. My whole thing is, the Borat character is a parody of the stereotypes people have of Eastern Europe. It is not funny because it is an accurate representation of these folks and I don’t think the character even comes close to purporting to be an accurate representation of these folks. I mean, who is suddenly convinced that folks from Kazakhstan are incestuous sheep-herders after watching this show? It’s not promoting these stereotypes, but making fun of the people who are silly enough to believe these stereotypes, right? It’s similar to what Dave Chappelle did with black folks in the “Chapelle Show.” My main point is that if anyone is offended by the Borat character, I think it is because of a blatant mis-reading of what he as a comedic character does. Again, perhaps it’s slightly insensitive of me to suggest that a group’s offense is misguided, but I just don’t think their offense is based on a solid reading of how Borat functions. The Borat character isn't based on reality, but is parodying the American folks that believe the stereotype, right? Borat is only funny if people believe him and react to him—it is these people that are the butt of the joke, not Borat. Am I wrong here?

- Eagles: The Eagles proved last night what most of us suspected last week. Their season is over. Oh well. Seahawks are gonna win the ‘ship anyway.

- Joe Beats: Joe Beats emo-hop CD “Indie Rock Blues” is available today. I’m not exactly sure what that means. I guess it means you can order it online today or something. Anyway, you should. Buy it here.

- Behind the Beat: Stones Throw is releasing a book called Behind the Beat which has pictures of “the creative spaces of [underground] producers and DJ’s from the US and UK.” Although the folks pictured in the book are folks that are largely irrelevant and/or folks I’ve completely lost interest in (The Grouch, Premier, The Automator, etc), it’s still cool to see pictures of records and equipment and stuff. Cop if you’re into that sorta thing.

- Robbing Banks on the Phone: I’ve got nothing but respect for this woman who robs banks while on her cell phone.


Thursday, November 10, 2005

What the game been missin'....

When: November 12, 10 - 2 AM
Where: 1226 South 2nd Street (2nd and Federal)
Who: emynd, Bo Bliz, Dev 79, Needleguise

A couple weeks back, my dude came home to his apartment, only to find it engulfed in flames, along with everything in it: turntables, records, TV, clothes... unfortunately, even his dog.

Please come support the dude(s) and see some really dope DJs rock on some house-party-esque atmosphere reminiscent of the epic Halloween party "Child's Play." We are asking for a $10 donation at the door--all of the proceeds of which will go to my dudes that were left homeless from the fire. Plus, it's free beer until the kegs are kicked (good beer, not some bullschitt-ass miller lite or anything), then it's $1 beers the rest of the night, or BYOB if you're too broke to pay $1 a beer. Please come through. It's a good cause and you're guaranteed to pay less than $15 to get absolutely annihilated (unless you're Bdynamite in which you will magically accidentally spend at least 10 times that, get extremely drunk, and then claim somebody drugged your drink).

We're gonna rock that schitt on some no-holds-barred wile out schitt with myself, Bo Bliz, Dev79, and the "victim" himself, Needleguise. If time permits, my dude from Indianapolis Scott Matelic is gonna bless us with a set as well. He's an effin' great DJ.

Same ol' same ol' 10-2 schitt, but it's at a 2nd street social/mummer's club so you know the cops aren't gonna mess with us if we run until 3 or 4...

Two Street stand up!

I'm super excited about this. It's gonna be hella fun and we're gonna help my dude get back on his feet.

- What the Game’s Been Missing: Juelz’s album is really effin’ good. I was expecting it to stink. Wrong. It’s good. Perhaps great. I’ll get back to you on that in like two weeks, but as for right now, it’s really good.

- Baskey-bally: Despite my claim that the key to the Sixers success was reliant on AI’s assist-to-turnover ratio, the Sixers won when Iverson had 7 assists and 4 turnovers. Oh well. So I’m not a basketball analyst. Let’s take this to the court! I can still dunk on you (figuratively… not literally). Anyway, I still do think that the Sixers will be in good shape if AI’s assist-to-turnover ratio stays around 3:1 but they really need to start playing better D. Beating Dallas without Dirk Nowitki isn’t a great accomplishment, but I’ll take what I can get. As for the Sonics, well, they’re a pitiful 1-3 and it hasn’t been pretty. They got HAMMERED by the Cavs last night. Ugh. Get your game up, terds!

- Skull Snaps: For my beat digger nerds, the group Skull Snaps has been brought back together in order to do a show in NYC. Pretty cool. I don’t really care, but, it’s pretty cool.

- Holy Cheerleader Meta-References Batman: So, we’ve all heard the story by now of the lesbian cheerleaders kissing and tickling and fisting and munching on each other’s private parts in the bathroom, right? Now there’s online story about how the story is a popular online story. I’m more impressed by the confusing meta-referentiality of the stupid piece than I am by the lesbian cheerleaders leading each other’s tongues into their respective crotches.


Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Pushin' on them keys like a minor chord...

"I want this guy on my team because he is black and
will therefore give me more points... He's a good kid."

- Berube on Paterno and Race: An old professor of mine Michael Berube had some things to say about Joe Pa and his race-related remarks. The gist of it is this:
    “For the life of me I can’t see what in the world is wrong with [Joe Pa’s remarks] about ‘the black athlete.’ For that matter, I don’t see anything wrong with Air Force coach Fisher DeBerry remarking on the fact that a lot of fast football players are black….[To] say that black athletes have ‘changed the whole tempo of the game’ and “have just done a great job as athletes and as people in turning the game around,” as JoePa did, is not merely to say the obvious; it’s to say the obvious in the form of a compliment. It’s a little like saying that professional basketball is a different sport now than when George Mikan dominated the court, and that it’s a good thing too.”

This is basically the argument that both bliz and ellen were making in my comments section below. I posted the following in response to Berube in his comments section:
    Was what [Joe-Pa] said really that “innocuous”?

    I think it’s pretty important to understand the context within which Paterno said what he said. According to ESPN.com, he was responding to a question about the increase in scoring in the Big Ten this season. Isn’t a bit irresponsible to suggest that scoring in the Big Ten is up because there’s more black kids in the conference?
    First of all, is this even true? Are there more black kids in the conference? Or, are there more black kids in the skill positions? I don’t know, but isn’t it just a bit irresponsible to just sort’ve haphazardly link race to scoring in such an essentialist manner, when surely there are several other reasons for why scoring might be up besides race?

    I take no real issue in Joe Pa complimenting black athletes for their athleticism, I agree that the Air-Force coach was probably just clumsy with his prose, and I don’t mean to imply that Joe Pa is some closeted-racist or anything, but I just find the context of his statements to be much more important than what he actually said.

Re-reading what I wrote in my initial blog post, I certainly don’t seem to be focusing on the context of the remark as much as I am here or in the comments section that followed my post, so I hope I’ve cleared that up by now. Berube’s response—which I suppose I can take as some sort of validaition—was the following:
    emil, hmmm. You have a point there.

- Geek Rap: This schitt is straight-up corny. It’s amazing how stupid “geeks” can be.

- Robot Made From Human Brain Cells: Be afraid. Be very, very afraid.

- Vinsanity: “Vince Carter just took the imaginary ladder.” Dude dunking on ‘Zo like it’s nothin’. Sick.

- Flea Blog: Flea (yes, Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers) has some very freedarko things to say about the dress-code on his NBA.com blog: so, about this dress code… who cares? i don't care if they wear suits and ties, go naked or wear clown suits, i wanna see 'em on the court hoopin it up like the geniuses they are…why should i be worried about david stern's power trip? i love basketball, not fashion… david stern could never rob the league of it's black culture…and i don't care whether a bunch of right wing red staters love the nba or not…allen iverson is already a great role model no matter what her wears
he is a great artist…nobody ever held picasso's personal life up for judgment when it came to his art…they just studied it and appreciated it.” Good stuff. Come to think of it, I guess I shouldn't be surprised that he's not too into the dress-code. Dude wears a sock on his thang.

- Jesus Juice: I’m thirsty… for the Lord!


Monday, November 07, 2005

Sittin' on blades like Christie Yamaguchi

- Some Crazy Schitte: Click here for craziness: If your eyes follow the movement of the rotating pink dot, you will only see one color, pink. If you stare at the black + in the center, the moving dot turns to green. Now, concentrate on the black + in the center of the picture. After a short period of time, all the pink dots will slowly disappear, and you will only see a green dot rotating if you're lucky! It's amazing how our brain works. There really is no green dot, and the pink ones really don't disappear. This should be proof enough, we don't always see what we think we see.

- This Blog and “Racism”: I’ve noticed lately how irresponsible I’ve gotten with throwing the term “racist” around on this blog. I don’t think my tendency to point out potentially “racist” stuff is “irresponsible” because I’m wrong or anything—I do still feel that everyone I’ve called out on this blog as displaying “racist” behavior was indeed performing “racist” behavior—but several recent comments-section discussions have pointed out to me how fruitless these efforts have been. To be sure, I’m calling out “racist” behavior on this blog as an attempt to point out how “racism” is still quite pervasive in every day life. Unfortunately, it seems like the most common reaction to my posts hasn’t been unanimously positive but has been more along the lines of folks saying “Oh come on! Lighten up!” type remarks, or the age-old, privileged boy complaint of “Can’t we even mention ‘race’ without talking about ‘racism’”? Well, the short answer to that question, as far as I’m concerned, is “no.” If we’re talking about “race,” I think we absolutely need to talk about “racism,” too. And, yes, while I do think it’s “racist” for Joe Pa to say that scoring is up in the Big Ten from last year because there are more black kids playing, I am not saying that Joe Pa is incapable of talking about “race” without being “racist” and, what’s more, I don’t think Joe Pa is himself “a racist.” As Ken importantly pointed out, “People can’t be racist; systems are racist.” And, believe it or not, my incessant tendency to say “That’s racist” on this board was a misguided attempt to make that very same point. When I refer to the racism involved with the NBA dress code or about the age limit or about Joe Pa, I’m not suggesting that the type of “racism” at work here is one of individual hatred of black folks a la the Ku Klux Klan and white supremacists. I’m talking about the systemic white supremacy that is perpetuated, nourished, and promulgated in overt ways like public school zoning policies as well as the more subtle expressions of the racist system that pop-up in instances like Joe Pa’s ridiculous statements or the NBA dress-code. I’m not here to chastise individuals for being “racist.” Instead, I am simply attempting to illustrate how racism still operates on a day-to-day basis in seemingly innocuous ways. I suppose I should apologize that my method has been so ineffective, and I will attempt in the future to be much less chastising and reactionary, and perhaps more inquisitive about this “racism,” how it manifests itself, and what—if anything—can be done about it.

- AI Assist to Turnover Ratio: I firmly believe that the key to the Sixers success this year will be AI’s assist to turnover ratio. If the ratio stays above 3:1, I think the Sixers will do just fine. If it hovers right around the 2:1 mark or below, we’re in trouble. So far this season, the Sixers have been pretty good about turnovers. In their win over the Pacers on Saturday, they only had 11 turnovers and Iverson had 12 assists and only 3 turnovers. In the ugly, ugly game against the Bobcats, the Sixers only had a total of 13 turnovers, but Iverson had 5 assists and 4 turnovers. Likewise, in the opener—a game the Sixers really should’ve one—the team only had 8 total turnovers and AI had 9 dimes and only one turnover himself. Basically, if Iverson is assisting and not turning the ball over, that basically indicates that the rest of the team is playing pretty well, too. Most of AI’s turnovers aren’t directly his fault (usually, it’s a matter of AI sending an unsuspecting pass into the fumbling hands of big men who clunk the ball out of bounds or simply aren’t aware that AI is passing to him) but no matter who’s fault it is, they really hurt the Sixers. So, this humble blog is going to go to great lengths to closely monitor AI’s assist to turnover ratio and if it starts to start looking bad, I’m gonna have to make a few phone calls and try to get the Sixers some more black players so we’ll score more points.

- Ass Man: This might only be funny to people who are at least somewhat familiar with the TV tragedy/victory that is known as Laguna Beach, but holy hell the dude KC has killed it. That schitt had me dying the first time I read it. KC’s old blog (KC a Jew) is dead, but he’s got a new group blog poppin’ off at Kosher Crack. Cute.

- Vincent Gallo’s Sperm: The dude Vincent Gall is pretty crazy. This is cute little publicity stunt. Vincent Gallo gets a little bit too much pleasure out of pretending to be racist though (much like how I get a little bit too much pleasure out of constantly calling people “racist”).

- The Music of Galt MacDermott: Go here to see the trailer for “Ear of the Heart” a documentary that “will be a survey of Galt MacDermot's life and musical career, as well as a performance of many of his songs.”


Friday, November 04, 2005

Makaveli in the ipod

- Paris Rioting: You might not know this because America is hella insulated, but did you know mothereffers are rioting in Paris on some Rodney King type ish? Schitt’s crazy.

- Kenny Meez and Federation Sound: Kenny Meez is that dude. As my dude Cosmo Baker once said, “Let’s put it this way: when Sean Paul comes to Philly, the first person he calls is Kenny Meez.” Peep the Philly Weekly What’s Up With… Kenny Meez this week. And when his rhythm drops, be sure to cop it. There’s a song with Vybz Kartel and Clipse floating around on Killa Kuts and it’s that murder. I believe it’s called “Double Shots” but I could be wrong. Anyway, cop that and cop that rhythm.

- Mike Tyson vs Bobby Brown: Most of you have probably seen this by now, but here’s Mike Tyson and Bobby Brown singing the Monster Mash. Really, really odd.

- Can I Quit Now: No you can’t quit! People are dying! What a douche. (thank you, the stencil)

- Graffiti and Thumbs: What the hell is this? What’re we regressing back to the middle ages? Cutting off thumbs? Ridiculous.

- Best Bun B Interview Ever: Damn Bun B is killing it in this interview (Part 1 and Part 2). Peep some of the schitt he’s saying about Little Brother from Part 2:
    I like Little Brother, man. But I wonder… The Minstrel Show...I wonder who's a part of the minstrel show? I know what they mean, but I think a lot of the people that they think are against them would pull for them. I really like them and I like their music and I know they are not making what everybody down South is making right now, but that don't mean we against you….I wear a lot of jewelry and s**t. I would be considered one of those flossy type n***as. But it's deeper than that. If you know me, you know that. I don't know but I do know that a lot of n***as like those cats’ music. But you have to be careful ‘cause you don't know, you could be turning away people that might be supporting you….I read in the article that they don't make the kind of Rap that people make today because they didn't grow up on that type of Rap. They grew up on NWA and Tribe Called Quest. So did I. Everybody did. I want to say the right thing about them cause I like them. I really want to find them cause I want to talk to them. I want to make sure that I didn't get them misinterpreted and that I didn't get a clue. I want to push for them n***as. They have some of the best music on the shelf, right now. I think they should have gotten a better look.

- Wow, Dem Black Folks Sure Can Do Some O’ That There Runnin’: My dude Joe Pa gets in on some of that good old-fashioned racism: "You have to be careful the way you say things sometimes….Poor [Air Force coach] Fisher DeBerry got in trouble, but the black athlete has made a big difference. They have changed the whole tempo of the game. Black athletes have just done a great job as athletes and as people in turning the game around." What the eff? No one would dispute that black folks have contributed heavily to nearly all of the big 3 sports, but what’s with the “them black folks sure are fast!” exoticization and insinuations?

- TO needs a TO: Ok, TO is definitely ackin’ the fu** up but, my whole thing is: (a) can we really be all that surprised and (b) folks are only gonna do what they can get away with. For those not paying any attention, TO agreed with a statement that Michael Irvin made that said the Eagles would be undefeated this season if Brett Favre was their quarterback instead of McNabb. Whether or not TO agrees with this or not (and I can’t imagine any sane person would agree with this), he should really keep the answer to himself, right? Wrong. TO is different than you and me. He doesn’t look at “sports” the same way you and I look at sports. Dude really isn’t all that concerned with winning because he’s smart enough to see the big picture: sports isn’t about winning; sport is a business just like any other business. And, just like any other smart business man, TO knows what his skills are worth to this team (i.e. basically everything) and so he knows he can pipe off and there’s not a lot the Eagles are gonna do about it. What should the Eagles do? They should just bench his ass. They should simply say “We’ve had enough. We don’t want you. We don’t need you.” To put up with TO is to suggest that his skills outweigh his off-field distractions and antics, and to suggest that is absolutely ridiculous. For all the class and poise and intelligence that the Eagles organization has had over the past few years, they simply can’t afford to allow TO to do this schitt and are absolute idiots to let this schitt continue. It’s true that without TO, the Eagles hopes of winning the ‘chip this year are basically zero, but it’s not like they’re really doing all that well anyway. They need to put their foot down…now. Again, folks are only gonna do what they know they can get away with. A precedent has been set and TO knows he can talk as much schitt as he wants and the Eagles aren’t finna do nathan. The Eagles didn’t give him his money (money that he probably deserved) and now he’s saying “Eff y’all.” I really can’t hate on that. It’s not real sportsmanlike, and it’s certainly not very courteous, but if you don’t define “sport” like you and I define “sport” and you see it for the business that it really is, you can’t hate on him too much. Sure he’s a jackass, but he’s in a position where he knows he can be a jackass and get away with it. The only thing the Eagles can do to save face at this point is to say “We’ve had enough.”


Thursday, November 03, 2005

Sally's got a one-track emynd...

We are Penn State!

- Sixers 0-2: OK, I give up. Sixers suck. Actually, I’m being melodramatic. They got beat by the Pistons last night and it was blatantly obvious that, at this point in the season, the Pistons are just a better team. Perhaps nothing is more depressing than watching a basketball game where you never feel like your team has a legitimate chance to win the thing. And the Pistons knew that. If the Sixers ever cut the lead to something like 8, you didn’t get the feeling that the Pistons were at all bothered or considered it a real threat. It’s like they didn’t even notice. They just came down and knocked down a shot that took out all of the Sixers’ gathering steam. So, yeah, the Sixers simply aren’t where they need to be yet. Igoudala had 8 points and Webber had a very quiet 15 or 16. Igoudala absolutely HAS to step up. We need 15-20 points a game from him. There’s no excuse for Salmons trying to make plays for himself and Igoudala not. I like Salmons’ aggressiveness, but it is vitally more important that Igoudala is a regular contributor than Salmons is. And, Salmons just really isn’t all that good. In better news, so far in two games, Iverson’s got 15 assists and only 3 turnovers. If he can keep that up, good things will happen. However, something that is extremely indicative of the type of player Webber is is that dude didn’t have any fouls before the middle of the third quarter. How can you be a 4 and not have any fouls before the third quarter? I mean, we all know dude is soft, but soft dudes can be aggressive sometimes, too, right? I’ve got a new-found respect for the big-man-that-always-gets-in-foul-trouble because now we’ve got a big man that’s too got damn soft on D to even make an ill-advised swipe at the ball. Get ill-advised! Commit a stupid foul! I beg of you! I’m still pretty confident that the Sixers are going to win the Atlantic this year. Luckily it’s a long season and it’s not so much how you start, but how you finish that’s important. If the Sixers are hovering just below or around 500 by the All Star break, I think they’ll be ok and make a run at it after the break. One thing that needs to be said though: if the Sixers continue on their current winning pace, they’re going to go 0 for 82. That’s scary!

- Sonics 0-1: The Sonics lost to the Clippers last night. What the eff? If the Sonics continue at their current pace, they too will be a whopping 0 for 82! What if both my squads have win-less years?! But, the Clippers stomped the Sonics by 30 in one of the first games of last season, so I’m not worried… yet. Dope sonics blog.

- Why Aren’t You in My Blogroll?: Chris ”why aren’t you on my blog-roll” “you are now on my blog roll” Lemon-Red has posted a couple roots dancehall burners on his unfudgewittable blog. Richie Spice’s “Youths Are So Cold” is piercing. The organ and the pre-hook “eeee-eh-eeee” is killing it.

- Certified ‘Hood Schitt: As if there’s not enough division in our nation’s poor communities, it’s rather depressing to read articles like this that articulate the growing resentment between “African Americans” and the “African immigrants” that they are coming in contact with in their ‘hoods.

- Electrocuted Squirrel Starts Grass Fire: WTF? Aint this some schitt?

- USC Halloween Prank: Hah. This is funny. Everything’s funny when you’re winning I guess.

- Hottest Shoes Ever: In all honesty, This probably isn’t a terrible investment. Some of these kicks are incredibly hot, too. I need these (what the hell are they?) and these. Now! **EDIT: Nevermind, these shoes break down to about $370 a pair. That's really not that great of a deal. EDIT**


Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Pugilistic Linguistics

- Indy Rock Boom Bap: True-school apologist and beat-smith extraordinaire Joe Beats of non-prophets fame is finally releasing his anticipated Indy Rock Blues boot-leg album with trumped-up versions of a bunch of indy rock songs Joe was listening to when some dumb ho broke his heart. Joe is a ferociously talented dude with a sampler and this album should be good fun for all you emo dorks who wish their indy rock had louder drums. Case and point: peep this version of “Coxcomb Red”. The cover art is quite beautiful and is done by William Schaff. You will be able to order this jawn online only, straight from Joe’s website on November 8 (pre-orders) and I highly suggest you do so.

- Sixers 0-1: I absolutely love Allen Iverson. But, that being said, he is the worst player in the league at protecting a small lead going into the final minute of a game. The reason? Because it forces him to over-think basketball. Iverson doesn’t think the game, he just does the game. When he’s forced to deliberately calculate what he needs to do—something that is somewhat inevitable when you’re trying to simultaneously use up as much time on the clock as possible and score—he winds up almost always waiting too long and putting up a bad shot. In those situations, he loses the natural advantage he has as a wrecklessly creative, quick, and unstoppably clever player. He’s not the type of player that “let’s the game come to him,” especially in the waning minutes of a ball game, nor is he the type of player that can just walk down the court and impose his will in a half-court offense. If the Sixers are down two or three points in the final minute, they probably win that game. Why? Because Iverson is on the attack. He’s slicing and chopping up the defense and creating plays. He’s as close to unstoppable as it gets when he’s on the attack. But, when he’s resting on his laurels, trying “not to lose,” focusing more on using up the clock than attacking, he makes bad decisions, puts up bad shots, or passes the ball to an unsuspecting player in a position where he isn’t capable of doing anything. You can’t really blame him, I guess. It’s just not the type of basketball he plays. But, he’s got to get better at that if the Sixers want to win. But, put aside the final minute and overtime and I’m not mad at all about that performance. Iverson and Webber both scored over 30 and they had under 10 turnovers for the game. Can’t be mad at that. We’ll see how it goes, but if AI and Webber continue to play well together, this team will be pretty damn good.

- Scoop Jackson is trill: Scoop Jackson wrote a great article attacking the Zen master’s recent racist comments. And, not for nothin’, I fux with his CD player, too:
    Last I looked, Lord Finesse's ‘The Awakening,’ Scarface's ‘The Fix,’ TI's ‘Urban Legend,’ Lil' Kim's ‘Naked Truth,’ Ghostface Killah's ‘Supreme Clientele,’ and Eric B. and Rakim's ‘Let the Rhythm Hit 'Em,’ were the six CDs in the chamber.”

Additionally, this is on-point:

    Or maybe in your next comment about 'us'…you'll remember to mention that most of the ‘thuggery’ clothes we buy (especially those worn by NBA players) come from Neiman's, Macy's and Saks, where entire floors are devoted to our fashion and designers….Clothing not cool for your players to rock, but OK for Fortune 500 stores to sell?.”

Scoop Jackson really gets in dude’s ass. It’s hot.

- Shabba Ranks Parody: “Champion lover you look like you lost a fight.” Hilarious. Here’s Jim Carrey as Vanilla Ice, too. Jim Carrey ain’t terrible at the worm.


Tuesday, November 01, 2005

And den whaaat....

"Gimme potato chips next year and see what happens!"

- Happy Halloween: I’m absolutely astonished that my house didn’t get TP-ed last night. Not because I live in a particularly mischievous neighborhood or anything. And certainly not because anyone has a long-lasting vendetta against me and/or my family (that I know of), but for the simple fact that my mom was giving out BAGS OF POTATO CHIPS to trick or treaters. When I found out about this, I was like “WTF?!” Who the hell wants potato chips for Halloween? Mothereffers want Reese’s peanut butter cups and/or twizzlers! I can’t believe that this year, we were “the bad treat” house. The house that all the kids whispered about when meeting up on the street corner: “Yo, Mr. Johnson is handing out whole packages of Swedish fish! Be sure to go there. But, man, Mrs. N***** is handing out potato chips, dude! Eff that!” I totally expected to walk out my door this morning and see toilet paper everywhere… and what’s more? We would’ve deserved it.

- God Bless Scoop Jackson: NBA season starts tonight! What! Go sixers! They finna win the Atlantic Division just like everyone Scoop Jackson says. Gyeaaaah!

- Jr Gong vs Sean de Paul: Wayne is back at it with an absolutely wonderful review of the new Damian Marley album and the new Sean Paul album. There’s an interesting little exchange between my SIUC dude Ken and Wayne in the comments section. I think I fall more on Wayne’s side, especially when he says stuff like the following:
    i think we have to ask what kind of work is "jamrock" doing? and i'm just not convinced that it's doing anything more productive than any sean paul songs (my emphasis).

- Ivy League and Legacy: “Legacy admissions” is rather obviously just “affirmative action” for the privileged, isn’t it? Next time someone opposes race-based “affirmative action” for minority students to universities, just punch them in the face and assure them that “meritocracy” is only a myth white folks use to perpetuate their privilege anyway.

- The Shrimp: The shrimp was down for a few days, but it’s back and better than ever. Serg (host of the best-named website ever) sparked things off with this tremendous post. The song really is terrible. How you gonna sample “Sweet Child O’ Mine”?